Humor
How (Not) to Use Online Personals If You’re a Lesbian

The following is the 5th installment of a hilarious ongoing series by author and squirrel hunter (seriously) Amy Bronwen Zemser called “How to Thaw Your Unborn Child.” Start at the beginning here or just jump right in below: All you need to know is that she was married to a man, realized she was gay, got divorced, fell in love with a woman named Moira, who broke up […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: Back-to-School Edition

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Your hormones are raging, you feel like you’re the last virgin on earth, and you just want someone to listen to Depeche Mode cassettes, write bad poetry and fall in love with. So you muster the courage to go to the kegger in the woods and try to fit in without […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: Random-Old-TNT-Movies Edition

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Mystic Pizza: While Runaway Bride is clearly a classic, we tend to favor the 1988 Mystic Pizza when it comes to Julia Roberts flicks. Big hair, long earrings, one-shouldered dresses, Julia’s butt (pre-personal trainer), Matt Damon’s bit-part — what’s not to love? Julia may have been a waitress in a small-town pizza […]

Everything We Needed to Know About Love and Sex We Learned from Dr. Seuss

As the mothers of two small children (two each, that is), we have spent many hours reading the books of Dr. Seuss aloud. And the more we read, the more we realize how freakin’ wise he was…about everything. (Yes, we admit it: We were more excited by the discovery of a new Dr. Seuss book, […]

Our Job Application to Be “Frat Moms”

According to a recent article in Jezebel, the University of Michigan is considering placing live-in house directors in frat houses to maintain order, a.k.a. to control the general rapey vibe. Live-in advisors, more commonly known as “Frat Moms,” were big back in the seventies, but the trend has since died out. The University of  Michigan […]

The Most Entertaining Reviews of the Go Girl Female Urination Device

The Amazon product reviews have long been a source of inspiration and humor. Who could forget the awesome reviews of the Avery Durable View Binder with 2-Inch Slant Ring in the wake of the “binders full of women” debacle? And the laugh-out-loud reviews of the BIC Cristal for Her Ball Pen remind us that there […]

Dating Women Is More Fun Than Dating Men

The following is the 2nd installment of a hilarious ongoing series by author and squirrel hunter (seriously) Amy Bronwen Zemser called “How to Thaw Your Unborn Child,” about sperm donation and artificial insemination when you’ve got an acute case of lesbianism. Catch up on Part 1 here, then continue below: When I lived in San Francisco in the nineties, my friend Michelle […]

The 5 Stages of Grieving Over a Celebrity Divorce

We know that we shouldn’t continue to be surprised by celebrity divorces, and most of the time, we’re not. Take Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, for example — much as we (okay, Em: she’s the Us Weekly reader of the two of us) enjoyed the sweet photos of their “date afternoons” drinking smoothies together or […]

Top 10 Sex and Dating Tips from “Airplane!” Quotes

Earlier this week we celebrated the 35th anniversary of the movie Airplane! with 35 little known facts about the classic comedy. Today, because Airplane! is pretty much the most quotable movie in the entire history of movies, we offer you ten sex and dating tips via some of our favorite lines: 1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It […]

“Airplane!” Is 35. Shirley You Can’t Be Serious?

There are certain movies I watched over and over as a child — movies that still take me back to that magical time when I see them today. Movies I have seen so many times, I can quote them verbatim — and not just the famous quotes. I’m talking every. Single. Line. Sound of Music, […]