Humor
Toys
Fashion for Your Penis: LELO’s Tux

No joke! Okay, it’s a joke — but it’s an incredibly well-made, high quality, totally wearable, and definitely purchasable joke. We would expect nothing less from our friends at LELO, who’ve proven once again that elegance and humor are not mutually exclusive when it comes to great sex. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, they’ve […]

How To
5 Fixes for Saying the Wrong Name in Bed

Dear Em & Lo,  I like this man so much. But I called him my ex’s name when he was going down on me and I wasn’t even thinking of my ex or anything! I was with my ex for 2 years and this guy 3 months. I’m done with my ex but the new […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: Dec 14th, 2015

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If your mind’s in the gutter but your ass is on the La-Z-Boy, chances are the only person you’re going to be talking dirty to is your teddy bear. If you’re looking for a more interactive experience, as it were, you’re going to have to get out of the house every […]

Sex Poetry
P-Pushkin Real Good: A Bawdy Poem from the Czar of Russian Lit

Last week, we gave you a taste of Pushkin the Romantic’s more romantic side. This week, we’re giving you a peak at his more playful side. (Stay tuned for a look at his truly trashy stuff, coming soon.) The following is Pushkin’s early-1800s “Advancing from the Rear”, translated by A.Z. Foreman from his blog Poems Found […]

Pop Culture
Turkey Porn: Hot, Naked Birds

Aw, yeah. It’s that time of year again, when the dirty birds come out to play and anything’s possible: a full-body basting, a good stuffing up to the elbow, even succulent vegan experimenting! You know you want it. So dig in! #168642243 / gettyimages.com   #107239948 / gettyimages.com   #143038720 / gettyimages.com   #171295707 / […]

Say Amything
The Addictiveness of Reproduction

The following is the FINAL installment (#14) of the hilarious series by author and squirrel hunter Amy Bronwen Zemser called “How to Thaw Your Unborn Child.” Give yourself a treat and start at the beginning here. Or jump in below: all you need to know is that after divorcing her husband and having a tumultuous gay love affair, Amy eventually fell in love with Lynn, got married, and had three children with her […]

Say Amything
How to Convince Your New Partner to Have a Baby with You Right Away 

The following is the second to last installment (#13) of the hilarious series by author and squirrel hunter Amy Bronwen Zemser called “How to Thaw Your Unborn Child.” Give yourself a treat and start at the beginning here. Or jump in below: all you need to know is that after divorcing her husband and having a tumultuous gay love affair, Amy started dating Lynn…  When Lynn and I first got together, we had […]

How To
How to Have Sex with a Vampire

1. Get your blood work done beforehand and make sure you bring condoms: while the undead can’t give you any STDs, infections you might have (especially blood-borne infections) can make for an unpleasant experience for your vampire.* 2. Don’t eat any garlic for at least 72 hours beforehand. 3. Don’t give blood for at least […]

How To
How These 8 Preschool Skills Can Improve Your Love Life

A recent article in the Times explained why the social and sharing skills that you learn in preschool help you succeed in the workplace — and probably more so than any of the test-taking skills you learn later on in your school life. Reading that piece, we realized that the exact same thing could be […]