How To
The Best Sex Tips from a Stand-Up Comic

by Michael Hollan A lot of people think that stand-up comics must get laid a lot. Well, no. Most stand-up comics are pulling in normal numbers. People think that because we perform, and are funny and always meeting new people that we must live like rock stars. Nope, we live like traveling salesmen. It’s not […]

Say Amything
How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

The following is the 7th installment of a hilarious ongoing series by author and squirrel hunter Amy Bronwen Zemser called “How to Thaw Your Unborn Child.” Start at the beginning here or just jump right in below: All you need to know here is that she was married to a man, realized she was gay, got divorced, and fell for a woman named Moira (who dumped her after Moira had […]

Say Amything
How (Not) to Use Online Personals If You’re a Lesbian

The following is the 5th installment of a hilarious ongoing series by author and squirrel hunter (seriously) Amy Bronwen Zemser called “How to Thaw Your Unborn Child.” Start at the beginning here or just jump right in below: All you need to know is that she was married to a man, realized she was gay, got divorced, fell in love with a woman named Moira, who broke up […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: Back-to-School Edition

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Your hormones are raging, you feel like you’re the last virgin on earth, and you just want someone to listen to Depeche Mode cassettes, write bad poetry and fall in love with. So you muster the courage to go to the kegger in the woods and try to fit in without […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: Random-Old-TNT-Movies Edition

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Mystic Pizza: While Runaway Bride is clearly a classic, we tend to favor the 1988 Mystic Pizza when it comes to Julia Roberts flicks. Big hair, long earrings, one-shouldered dresses, Julia’s butt (pre-personal trainer), Matt Damon’s bit-part — what’s not to love? Julia may have been a waitress in a small-town pizza […]

Pop Culture
Everything We Needed to Know About Love and Sex We Learned from Dr. Seuss

As the mothers of two small children (two each, that is), we have spent many hours reading the books of Dr. Seuss aloud. And the more we read, the more we realize how freakin’ wise he was…about everything. (Yes, we admit it: We were more excited by the discovery of a new Dr. Seuss book, […]

Our Job Application to Be “Frat Moms”

According to a recent article in Jezebel, the University of Michigan is considering placing live-in house directors in frat houses to maintain order, a.k.a. to control the general rapey vibe. Live-in advisors, more commonly known as “Frat Moms,” were big back in the seventies, but the trend has since died out. The University of  Michigan […]

The Most Entertaining Reviews of the Go Girl Female Urination Device

The Amazon product reviews have long been a source of inspiration and humor. Who could forget the awesome reviews of the Avery Durable View Binder with 2-Inch Slant Ring in the wake of the “binders full of women” debacle? And the laugh-out-loud reviews of the BIC Cristal for Her Ball Pen remind us that there […]

Say Amything
Dating Women Is More Fun Than Dating Men

The following is the 2nd installment of a hilarious ongoing series by author and squirrel hunter (seriously) Amy Bronwen Zemser called “How to Thaw Your Unborn Child,” about sperm donation and artificial insemination when you’ve got an acute case of lesbianism. Catch up on Part 1 here, then continue below: When I lived in San Francisco in the nineties, my friend Michelle […]

Pop Culture
The 5 Stages of Grieving Over a Celebrity Divorce

We know that we shouldn’t continue to be surprised by celebrity divorces, and most of the time, we’re not. Take Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, for example — much as we (okay, Em: she’s the Us Weekly reader of the two of us) enjoyed the sweet photos of their “date afternoons” drinking smoothies together or […]