Straight Single Guy (Max): Ok. So there you are. Your girlfriend, who may already be SUPER cranky, has run out of tampons. At this point, I can dig the need to “go to the store” and get a breath of fresh air, but who is stupid enough to tell their girlfriend NO when they’re in such a state? MAN UP and buy the girl her tampons. I understand that a lot of guys are grossed out by a girl’s period, but seriously, get over it. How can you be so opposed to a product that keeps your girlfriend’s sacred nether regions from looking like a viking battlefield? (That was a little extreme, but you know what I’m saying.) I myself am an advocate of just putting a towel or two on the bed. In fact, I’ve always found it frustrating when girls won’t have sex on their period because they’re too self conscious about the blood. Assuming you take measures to protect against the transmission of STDs, what’s the problem with a little vampire role playing?
Gay Committed Guy (Mark): If he won’t do that for you, let him figure out how to suck his own damn cock.
Straight Married Guy (Ben): He HAS to get you tampons if one of two criteria are met: 1) you’ve been a couple for three-and-a-half years* OR 2) you’ve gone through some traumatic experience together. If it’s case number one, then you are right to require him to get over himself and pick up tampons at the store. He can hide the tampons in beer and magazines, with a whole load of groceries if he likes – coping mechanisms are fine. If he loves you at this point, he loves ALL of you, including your period. If it’s case number two and you’ve endured some kind of trauma together (getting in a bad car crash, terminating a pregnancy, being held hostage on a speeding bus that can’t go below 60 miles per hour or else it blows up) – even if it’s in your first month as a couple – he should do anything you ask, no question, whenever you want, forever. Because after something like that, things get put in perspective real quick.
*Note from Em & Lo: For the record, dudes, we think 3.5 years is about 3 years too long to be feeling squeamish about buying tampons for someone you’ve been seeing seriously.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com. Our Committed Gay Guy, Mark, is a writer and teacher in NYC and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New England — both asked us to file them under “shy.” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
And, no, periods don’t bother him at all. (Just going into a store and buying things like this from strangers, I guess.) He’s the first one, during my period to say,if I am hedging (you know that ONE day, the Great Deluge Day) “C’Mon. Just throw down a towel, and if it bothers YOU, we’ll turn off the light. I couldn’t care less.” LOL!
Nope, more than 20 years together and my Man has NEVER bought feminine hygiene articles. He also doesn’t buy condoms, or yeast infection medication for EITHER Of us (yes, I have to buy HIS own little tube of clotrimzole, when he gets “the itches” because he’s too embarrassed.) He doesn’t hold my purse either.
He has some hang ups. Doesn’t mean he isn’t worth keeping.
I don’t consider whether or not he buys hygiene articles a lynch pin of our relationship.
He’d get the wrong kind, anyway. “Hey, these were not only really cheap, but they’re MUCH BIGGER than those flat ones you buy.” As he comes home with the huge box of brick shaped Moddess (with the “tails” and you need to use a sanitary belt) with the nurse on the cover. He actually POINTED these out to me once, while accompanying me to the store. Wow, cheaper AND bigger. And that nurse looks like something out of out of a Madmen wet dream.
I wonder why the divorce rate is so high, and so many people are alone, and then I see that people are putting value and “meaning” on the wrong damn things in their relationships. 🙂
personally i think it matters what the female’s opinion on it is and…hint take a picture of the package before you go out so you don;t have to go back….not that i ever sent my love out he just worked at a wall-greens and ended up telling them to do that. In the end it’s polite, but even then females suck it up….if your not dying then get outt your butt, it shouldn’t be embarsing it’s natural. Though i know people who get very ill…then one should be polite and retrieve her some.
I have never and will never ask a guy to buy my tampons. Eww…Nasty… Just no. Condoms I’ll have him buy (I don’t really care if I have to pick them up) but thats because he’s using them too. Not to mention, if you love a guy, really respect him– Why the h-e-double hockey sticks would you put him in such an embaracing situation? Come on! Guys don’t have this problem because their Gender Hygenics is pretty much the same stuff chicks use. For example, what’s a guy gonna send me for?–Toothpaste? Whoo-Hoo…
Let me tell you what, you can tell when I’m getting ready to break up with a guy when he hits the checkout lane with the industrial sized packages of Maxi-pads and Tampons… Heck, while we’re at it lets through in some Midol and Monistat7 and a couple of pregnancy tests… Go a little nuts…
If you give him the liberty of banging you, he owes you anyway. ^_^
I try to avoid making him buy me my tampons, but in the case it should happen and he frowns, all I say is: “you should be *so* happy it’s tampons. Not a pregnancy test.”
Grow up guys… if you want to get embarrassed about buying adult diapers, maybe… but tampons and pads, geez…
And yes, please ask for the specific make and model, and at least one alternate… The array on display is bewildering — I can understand small, medium, large, and thin and mattress — but twenty different kinds and four or five manufacturers… enough! But I think the same about TP as well.
First of all, ALL bachelors should keep a package under their sink for guests. End of discussion on that one.
Some guys -like- the battlefield after the Vikings have unleashed their fury. Seriously — it’s not that uncommon. I don’t just mean tolerate… I mean like it. Ask around, and you’ll probably get denials unless the guy is very up-front about his likes.
KHM talks about ‘easing the pain a bit’. Oral on a woman’s period is that very easing; it’s pure salvation from cramps and related pain. There’s even a song about it: Wolf Moon by Type O Negative.
(As an aside, I have performed the eating of the strawberry pie on every woman I have ever been with, and have never been refused, but every single one asked me “Are you sure? No, are you REALLY sure?!” before I did her for the first time… It seems two or three confirmations are standard… -laughs-)
And if you bring women home, it is a decent practice to keep some in your bathroom in the event her flow starts early.