Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What would you tell a guy who was intimidated by the idea of his partner bringing sex toys into the bedroom?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): Men take a certain amount of pride in their bedroom abilities, and despite the fact that we intellectually know most women can’t orgasm from insertion alone, it bums us out. However, letting a guy know that his anatomy is acceptable (almost too acceptable, really) and that you just have different needs goes a long way towards soothing his ego. Throw in something about the mystery of female sexuality and that you’ll let him hold the device in question, thus providing him additional “skin in the game,” and it should be gravy. Unless he’s a jerk or a babyhead.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): The dead cliché answer would be to remind him that they’re only called “toys” and “novelties” to get around puritanical blue laws. In reality, you could tell him, sex “toys” are tools for sex. Guys like tools. But here’s a more original approach: Tell him, if someone brings a Monopoly board into the den it would be a pretty good sign she’d like to play with you, right? So if your partner brings a sex toy into the bedroom that’s an even better sign she wants to play with you.
Gay Married Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): Get over yourself. And bend over.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. Tom Miller writes the Tomfoolery blog for YourTango; this week’s Gay Married Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish; and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.