What Does It Mean When You and Your Partner Have the Same Violent Dream?

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex & relationships. If you’ve got a good one, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg just might tell you what it means! Click here to submit yours (18 and older only for dream interpretations, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri about a having the same violent dream as her spouse:

My husband and I had the same dream two nights ago. He said he didn’t remember the details but just remembered that he was shot in the back. In my dream it was like a group of terrorists killed a bunch of people wherever I was, and when they found me they shot me in my back. They thought I was dead so they left, but then I got up to get help. It was just really weird that we both had a dream about being shot in the back on the same night! Please try to help. Thanks.

Lauri: What you and your husband experienced is called shared dreaming and I have covered it many times in this column:

It usually happens to two people who are very close: husband and wife, best friends, mother and daughter. The reason why is because the two individuals are dealing with the same issue and their subconscious responds to it similarly by giving them comparable dreams. So let’s see if we can figure out what issue it is you and your hubby are both dealing with.

Getting shot in the back could mean you both feel someone is talking behind your back. Bullets in dreams are often symbolic of emotionally wounding words. That could be what the terrorists in your dream are, a group of people around you, such as in laws or co-workers or friends, who are causing you and your husband grief. Or they could represent feelings of being ganged up on by life in general. Have you been suffering problem after problem? The back can also symbolize that which is now behind us.

It is clear that you both have suffered some sort of emotional wound and your dreams are trying to show you that 1) this hasn’t killed you, and  2) the best course of action is to put this behind you and move on from it.

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One Comment

  1. Hi i generally never have dreams but since the last 2 weeks i have started having dreams.
    Two incidents made me curious
    1. I dreamt i am going to be married to a stranger send then my wife dreams after 5 days that i am marrying a stranger. She did not know about my dream.
    2.i remembered one of my teacher in my dream who taught me for a few months around 17 years ago then after a week i hear he is dead.

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