My Boyfriend and I Separately Dreamed of the Same Shadowy Man

 photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it (18 and older only, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Last night my boyfriend and I slept apart at our respective houses. We both had a dream of a very tall “shadow man” watching us. In his, he was go-karting and the man was part of the crowd watching, but taller than the other people and quite distinctive. But in mine, my boyfriend and I were both in my bed and I woke up and my boyfriend was sitting cross-legged on the bed looking out the window. When I woke up he asked, “Are you expecting someone?” And I replied “No…” and rolled over and sat up to look outside also.

I saw a very tall shadow figure standing on the driveway, and even though it did not have discernible eyes, I knew it was looking into my window. I did not look away and my boyfriend said, “You should go down and say hi since he’s your friend.” And my boyfriend was being very nonchalant and almost cheery as if it was a friend of mine just stopping by. I got scared and started saying to him I didn’t want to and I didn’t want him to make me go down there and asking how we should make it go away. I didn’t stop looking out onto the driveway and it didn’t move or stop staring and it TERRIFIED me. What does this mean? Also how is it possible that we both had a dream of the same figure on the same night in two different houses?

LauriVery interesting! This shadow man that you both dreamed about symbolizes some sort of dark, negative presence in your relationship. In both of your dreams he was watching you so that’s a clue as to what it is. Are there people around you who look down on your relationship, such as family members or an ex?

What I find particularly interesting is that, in your boyfriend’s dream, the shadow was very distinctive, but in your dream his eyes were indiscernible. This shows us that your boyfriend has a clearer perspective or opinion on this negative element in your relationship than you do. And just like in your dream, he probably wants you to confront the issue and appease the situation.

In your dream he tells you that shadow man is your friend. This could mean that the negative element is coming from your side (your friends, family or ex or even your issue). Or your dreaming mind is encouraging you — through your boyfriend’s voice — to not worry so much about it. In your real life, what is it that you want to go away but that your boyfriend thinks isn’t such a big deal? That’s what the shadow man is, and you both dreamed about it the same night because it is an issue you probably discussed or dealt with that day. I have to go along with your boyfriend on this; you can’t wish this negative thing away, you have to confront it.

Visit Lauri’s site,, for even more dream interpretations! If you want to be able to figure out your own dreams each morning, check out her latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, which will give you the tools you need to become a dream expert. You can see all of Lauri’s books here. And hey, if you want your very own pin-up painting of you or your luvva (either vintage or modern), Lauri can do that, too!