Porn is a tricky thing. On the one hand, you can’t legislate people’s fantasies, especially when pornography may be the one sexual outlet they have.  As sexual liberator, educator or tension reliever, it can be a positive thing. But, it can also be a destructive thing: ruining relationships, setting up unrealistic expectations, perpetuating misogyny. Certainly some porn is better than others — but who’s to say which is which? The topic can really pull sex-positive feminists in two opposite directions!

We recently received two comments that highlighted the latter, more nefarious aspects of porn. Even if you’re a conscientious consumer of adult material, it’s worth it to regularly consider its darker aspects and how they might be affecting our world…and your own sex life:

Yes, gagging blowjobs are only the last 15 years and you can directly attribute that to the Max Hardcore series of XXX videos. Max (or whatever his real name is) actually spent time in the federal pen because of his videos combination of implied violence (forced blowjobs with gagging and puking), peepee play (him using the actresses as urinal targets) and actresses who dressed and acted in ways to appear way younger than they actually were. Apparently some state governments didn’t like those combinations and shut him down with federal charges, killed his original website, tried, convicted, and sent him to jail. He’s out now but his influence on gagging porn unleashed gagging oral on the rest of the industry and amateur videos while he was incarcerated.
— Cyberdolphnow, in response to Wise Guys: Gagging During Oral — Hot or Not?

Why do men rush things? All we women want is for our men to make us feel like our pleasure is important to them and that they want to spend hours pleasuring us because we’re worth it. Right now I feel unloved. I feel like his sex toy. I feel unattractive and unworthy of more than just a few hurried moments of pleasure. It hurts me to the core. Which does so much damage to my self esteem and confidence. I wish I were brave enough to tell him. But years of abuse have made me keep everything to myself. I just wish things will get better…..I turn 30 next month , this is NOT how I envisioned my sex life at this stage of life. BTW, porn ruins relationships. Men who watch it are made to think women’s needs are secondary. And men aren’t taught how to love a woman instead of objectify her. I really feel for you all in the same boat as me. It’s truly painful.
— Sarah, in response to My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm

What do you think of porn?
Let us know in the comments below.