Wise Guys: Gagging During Oral — Hot or Not?

photo by Public Domain Photos

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: What do men think about a woman gagging while giving oral sex? How does the fact that it’s a porn trope affect your real life experiences? Is it a turn on or do most men just feel bad for the woman because she’s obviously uncomfortable?”
Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos): As someone who’s been both gagee and gagger, I’m conflicted. While it is thrilling to imagine that your tool is insurmountably large, having your partner on the perpetual verge of tears/ralphing can’t, I imagine, be that sexy. So here’s some practical advice for the Gagging Gal: behold The Python: he sits up and you lie on your side behind him so you can coil around his waist and come at his unit from one side (and slightly above). I find the penile trajectory to be, well, more palatable in this position—though peppering in a few well-timed gags couldn’t hurt either.

Straight Committed Guy (Johnny): For me, it’s a turn-on to watch. What can I say? Like many men I’ve had my brain warped by pornography. That said, I’ve only ever met one woman who said she liked being gagged (I never did find out for myself). Most women I’ve talked to about blowjobs or have been with personally — even the kinkiest ones — are really turned off by gagging. Degredation aside, the sensation of almost puking is awful. The closest I’ve ever come to receiving this experience is gagging on a tongue depressor at the doctors office, and that was anything but hot. So I’ve relegated the gag thing to the bin of over-the-line fantasy — those fantasies which one can not reasonably expect a partner to indulge, like doodoo fantasies or bestiality ones. I wouldn’t want a woman to do something in bed that she hates.

P.S. Did you know that the scientific name for… I can’t think of a polite way to describe the behavior… anyway, it’s called “irrumatio.” Now you know, if you didn’t already.

chris_diclericoStraight Single Guy (Chris): I personally don’t like the idea of a girl choking and crying and throwing up on my penis, but certainly love how a proper deep-throat blowjob feels. I am not into the domination thing but I imagine there are guys that love the feeling of power they have over their partner, and get a combination of domination and ego boost from thinking that their penis is so big the girl can’t handle it. And it probably feels pretty good. I’m just not into it at all. Either way, I think porn plays a big factor. It seems that the gagging blowjob has become super commonplace in porn and guys who are prone to this kind of domination behavior must love the idea. (Please bear in mind that I’ve met one or two women who swear they love it too…)

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Guy is Angelo Nikolopoulos, host of an NYC queer reading series The White Swallow; Straight Single Guy is blogger Chris DiClerico; and our Straight Committed Guy is regular EMandLO.com commenter, Johnny. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. Since getting divorced I’ve found a whole new world of sexual adventures. I’ve acquired 2 male doms. I always wanted to be taken charge of and not the , what do you want to do? I had from my ex. They are gorgeous, big strong well built men. It started out with I want to please you, to lets do this,, and i like that, to now being guided all the way by what they want, Dom 1 told me he wanted to gag me, I was sure I’d throw up, but didn’t. He wanted tears, coughing, and eyes running. After a few sessions it’s become easier. My 2nd dom it happened by accident during oral. He got so excited,, did you just gag? I want you to do more of that, I have my hands free to push them off if I feel the choking is getting to be too much. The reward. great oral before, during and after, and great intercourse.

    1. To each their own. But to me, the gagging thing has two problems: 1) Any guy who likes it so obviously likes it because of the impression he gets, however false, that he has a HUGE dick, which just seems kind of pathetically vain (and possibly delusional) And. 2) It involves bringing someone to the brink of vomiting, one of the worst bodily functions in nature (both to experience and to witness), which is about the least sexiest thing I can think of. I’m all for a little endorphin inducing pleasure pain (some spanking, pinching, rough sex, etc etc) but for me, gagging just lacks style, grace and common courtesy.

  2. My partner and I have come to a mutual decision. You want a PBJ (platonic blow job), do not touch me. I will control the job so I can control the deep-throating and lack of gagging. You just holler out if you’re getting close so I’m prepared for the swallow. He is to just relax and enjoy the sensation.

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