If you could cheat on your committed long-term partner, just once, and it was guaranteed they would never find out, you wouldn’t get an STD or have to deal with an unintended pregnancy, and you’d never see or hear from the fling again, would you?
It’s kind of ironic: women turn to vibrators so their hands don’t have to do the work, but with the new Earth Angel vibe you have to hand-crank it to get it to work. Of course, it’s for a good cause: renewable, sustainable energy! And we suppose if you crank using both hands equally, you can tone your arm muscles (which seems like an infinitely better exercise regimen than this). Here’s the toy‘s description on GoodVibes.com (not quite sure what the quotation marks around the word green in the first sentence are supposed to mean…?):
Developed and designed with “green” technology in Ireland, this manually operated vibe cleverly conceals a hand crank in its base. Simply pull the handle and spin it in a circular motion to charge the toy. This advanced, patented technology means the Earth Angel will never require replacement batteries. Cranking the handle for eight minutes completely fills the power source, providing you with ethereal experiences up to an hour. If your digits aren’t down with the round and round, this multi-speed smoothie can also be charged in any USB port or with a 5-Volt charger (not included). Any excess energy is conveniently stored for future angelic adventures. Since both the vibrator and packaging are made from 100% recyclable materials, this heavenly toy is good for the earth!
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We’re not sure which is more disturbing: this video, or the 1,396 (and counting) comments that make us fear for the future of sex (and humanity), including such gems as:
It’s like my penis! Save your money ladies you can get lean toned(lol) arms for free! You’ll be slapping away that arm flab in no time! You’re gonna love my nuts so message me for more info/meeting arrangements. Order now(cause I can’t do this all day) and I’ll tone your glutes and jaw for free!
shes jackin it off
I fukken LOLed
They may as well just give handjobs
i have a better idea for how she could build up some arm muscle…
Doing it like that, she’ll get visible results in way less than 6 minutes.
WOW!! where is the unrated version of this!! where the girls are naked!! lol!!! wow!! was this suppose to give guys a work out too while watching it??? cuz im sweating here
Mmmm. Thay can shake my weight :P. and god PLEASE brake out the tank tops 😀
Bathroom stall graffiti at Tres Sugar
Since we were extolling the virtues of condoms the other day (in light of all the withdrawal hub-bub), we wanted to talk about a new brand on the market. While we often automatically dismiss Trojans as your basic, quintessential (i.e. unexciting) condom, they’ve actually been making real efforts to compete with some of the more revolutionary fits, textures and shapes available today. So we asked Condomania’s CEO, Adam Glickman, what was up with their most recent make, Trojan Ecstasy (we pulled some strings — click here for a special discount link!):
When did the Trojan Ecstasy line hit the market?
Just in the past few months.
Is it designed to feel better for him or for her, or both?
They are designed to feel better for both men and women, although the big benefit really does come for the guys.
How does it work?…
This past Wednesday we published a thank you letter from a reader who [patting ourselves firmly on the back] benefited from our advice concerning his open relationship. Well, we know that we’re not solely responsible for the success story, so we asked Zac to elaborate on how he was able to banish the green-eyed monster. (Catch up on the back story here first.)
The way we tried to resolve things was through the same methods of inquisition used by Socrates. Basically asking endless questions! Not just yes or no questions, but questions aimed at prompting introspection, debate and true soul searching. This helped the worries subside temporarily, which allowed us both some breathing space from the issue. Of course, after a while the worries came back, but this second major bout did not make me feel as helpless and clueless. We had a launch pad to work from, a basic understanding — though of course this understanding was still entirely theoretical. I understood the concepts in theory, but had not seen or felt them in the real world.
(more…)
Please, just say yes to condoms.
There’s been a lot of media drooling over the latest research which suggests that withdrawal may be a legitimate form of birth control. This is great news for couples in long-term, monogamous, committed relationships who have complete trust in one another, who have made an educated decision to be bodily-fluid bonded, and who would not be too bummed with an unintended pregnancy. But we’re guessing the majority of sex going on in the world does not fall into this category of relationship. More often it’s sex of a slightly more casual nature (think drunken Saturday night strangers, office workers after the holiday party, a friend consoling another needy friend, exes returning to the well, spouses cheating on each other, teenagers experimenting, online daters, etc., etc.) — all situations where “pull and pray” is a dumb-ass idea. So before you go throwing your condoms away, please consider this:
The Impostor’s Daughter by Laurie Sandell
Laurie Sandell’s graphic memoir, The Impostor’s Daughter, just hit bookstores, and even if she wasn’t our good friend, we’d still tell you that it’s our number one pick for a beach read this summer. (By the way, “graphic memoir” = graphic novel-style memoir. The rest of the book is not nearly as dirty as the page we excerpted above. What can we say, we’re smut peddlers.) Anyway, the book chronicles Laurie’s search for the truth about her charming and brilliant con artist father — and how her relationship with him affected everything from her career as a celebrity journalist to her love life. (Paging unavailable men!) It’s hilarious, engrossing, honest, and smart — plus, look at all those pictures! You’ll race through it even if the wind is blowing sand in your face.
About 18 months ago we answered a reader’s plea for advice about her open relationship. And then just this week we heard from the reader’s boyfriend, Zac, who told us that the advice totally worked! We’re suckers for a success story, especially when it’s one of our own, so we thought we’d reprint the various elements of the story here. By the way, he didn’t admit it at the time (even to us), but the Zac we responded to in the abridged comments section below is indeed the mysterious jealous boyfriend in question. Tune in again on Friday for our Q&A with Zac about how he was able to transcend his jealousy issues and make their open relationship work.
January 2008
Dear Em and Lo,
My boyfriend and I are in a committed and loving relationship, and have been for about a year and a half. We have been together and in love since the night we met, and the very next day we moved in together. He has the kindest heart, the most beautiful and creative soul, the most brilliant mind, and he is the most gorgeous Herculean piece of ass to have ever walked this earth. We have never had a fight or raised our voices at each other, though this issue I am about to tell you about has brought many tears.
We are and always have been open to inviting girls into our bedroom, however my boyfriend has had a nagging worry that seems only to be getting stronger. He feels that because I am bisexual, there is “a special set of feelings and attractions reserved for someone of the same sex,” that he “will never have access to or be the recipient of.” He feels that while I “have the capacity to be ALL and fulfill all” for him, that he “simply can not do the same for me in return.”
Despite his worries, in my heart I truly feel that for the long-term, I could never be fulfilled with just a girl. I feel like I would long for that power-exchange, that feeling of belonging to my Love, that polarized masculine/feminine balance (the feeling I get as a submissive when I kneel down to kiss his feet)…however, my Love does not seem to understand that. He worries that somewhere in the corners of my head, I will always be longing for a girl.
What confuses my Love is that I get depthless, silly little schoolgirl-type crushes on girls all the time, and this worries him. I feel that though girls are lovely and sweet, they just wouldn’t make me feel the ways a boy does, and that I need what a boy offers more. Needless to say we are being monogamous until this is cleared.
So, what can we do to make him see and trust that he fulfills me in every way, that a girl just wouldn’t cut it? We have discussed it endlessly, but his worries won’t budge…we are out of ideas.
Thank You So Much!
–Zoe
Dear Zoe,
We hate to belittle your problem, but if your boyfriend can’t see that he has the sweetest deal in relationship history, then we’re not sure we can help him. Let’s see: he’s in a committed, loving relationship with someone who thinks he’s the most gorgeous Herculean piece of ass to have ever walked this earth. Plus, he gets to share you with other hot women whenever the mood strikes you both. Also, you like to kiss his feet. You’re obviously too nice to say it, so we will: What the fuck’s his problem?
Tell your boyfriend that he can ask any full-time lesbian and she will confirm that women like you — i.e. women who enjoy hooking up with and even casually dating women but could never take one for better or worse — are practically an epidemic. You may be the bane of the lesbian community, but this should be a balm to your BF.
Here’s the deal: the current world population is approximately 6.6 billion. Does he really think that it makes a difference to your relationship whether you have the potential to be physically attracted to all 6.6 billion of them, or only 3.3 billion? Relationships are about a lot of things — faith, hope, love, chemistry, compromise, vibrating cock rings, shared household chores, hot monkey sex — but they’re not about statistics or beating the odds.
Tell him all this, and then tell him that at some point, he just has to grow up and trust you. You’ve accepted that he’s not going to be lured away by any of the 3.3 billion people in the world that he has the potential to be attracted to. So what’s another 3.3 billion on his part? If he can’t see that, then frankly, we don’t think he deserves the sweetest deal in relationship history.
Tough love,
Em & Lo
COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Laird
DATE: 01/15/2008 04:49:43 PM
This will sound crazy, but I know what this guy is going through and it’s much more complicated than what this girl (or people reading the article) think. As a normal guy, it sounds like a dream come true. As someone who has been in this same situation, it’s a nightmare. I’m not saying it CAN’T work, but I’m guessing they introduced this whole concept into their relationship way too early.
COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Em & Lo
DATE: 01/15/2008 05:01:43 PM
Okay Laird, we’ll bite: How is the situation a nightmare? Do tell. Just think, by sharing the downsides of this kind of set-up, you’ll be doing a favor to all the women out there whose boyfriends are now comparing them unfavorably to Zoe…
COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Zac
DATE: 01/17/2008 01:52:37 AM
Ok, first of all I have been in a very similar situation and can explain on what levels it can be a nightmare.
1. Most take the opinion of the common, stereotypical man. Sure it is a dream come true in many regards, however to glorify it to the point where the general attitude considers it the “highest point” of male existence is pathetic.
2. I have no concern of other guys taking my gf from me, as an alpha-male its not even an issue. I don’t see other men as competition or a threat. However my love of women allows me to view them as a whole different league of competition, complete with an inherent set of advantages that I do not possess, with things that I can not provide.
3. Her affinity and admiration of the female gender (as friends and how they compare themselves to each other etc) can easily and frequently be misconstrued as romantic attention. Open style relationships are fine, but when you are constantly hearing about other women in day to day life (being pretty, being cute, etc) it is easy to feel that her sexual preference may not be as secure as you thought. Especially since there is a lack of comments/attention paid to the male gender (for whatever reason).
4. The fact that (especially after a few drinks) the concept of hooking up with another girl is considered more harmless than if she were to kiss another guy. Which leads one to feel more like she is less trustworthy when it comes to women.
There are plenty more reasons why such a seemingly ideal situation can in fact be somewhat of a nightmare.
It is so common for men and women to consider this an ideal situation for any guy, that he should be “oh so lucky” and that “he is doing men everywhere a dis-service” and to women everywhere he is “being uptight, controlling and a prude.”
But to assume this is stereotypical and fails to acknowledge “the thinking men” that are not genetically obliged to sell their souls or right arms, simply to be “allowed” to participate in a threesome.
Forget that! If I want a threesome I will be equal in it, not sit on the sidelines like some pathetic kid on a soccer team begging for his chance to kick a goal.
COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Em & Lo
DATE: 01/17/2008 10:42:35 AM
Wow Zac, thanks for this incredibly thoughtful and helpful response. We were especially struck by point #4, because we think that most people would assume that another woman was less of an issue (we’re guessing that’s why your gf feels more comfortable raving about other women than about other men). But it’s an excellent point that this assumption makes you think she’s less trustworthy around women. That all said, we still think there’s a big difference between a woman who likes hooking up with women and a woman who wants to settle down and adopt puppies with one, but we stand somewhat chastised. Here’s our hat; here’s us taking a small nibble out of it.
August 2009
Dear Em & Lo,
I would like to thank you for some advice you provided us with over a year ago. I was having some trouble understanding my girlfriend’s bisexuality and it was causing me to suffer from some insecurities and jealousy issues. This was of particular concern because we both identify as polyfidelitous (if such a word exists!) and have both been long interested in finding a girl to invite into our relationship.
Well, after over a year and a half of excellent communication, deep soul-searching, and a little real world experience, we are finally both in a the right emotional place to start such a beautiful relationship. As we are sure you could understand, finding the right girl is very difficult, so we decided to start our own blog about our life together and our search for a “unicorn.”
If you want to follow our progress, check out our blog at Zacandzoe.wordpress.com. We hope to provide readers with a unique insight into relationships communications, relationship-style sexuality between three people, and also showcase a cute and contemporary love story!
Sincerely,
Zac & zoe xx
Tune in on Friday for our Q&A with Zac about how he was able to transcend his jealousy issues and make their open relationship work.
Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a male reader asks Lauri:
I’m in the kitchen and a guy who is about 5 years younger than I am enters. Apparently he is also living with me and my husband here. He begins to embrace me from behind and whisper sexual things in my ear and then he penetrates me from behind while we are up against the door so that no one can get in. I don’t tell him to stop or anything. I just let it go on. Then when we are done we carry on like normal. Then I woke up.
The problem is I would never cheat on my husband and my husband and I have a great sex life. We go at it almost every day. And if the kids are gone then maybe more than once a day. I have a friend who has a young man staying with her and her husband right now so at first I thought the dream was a message to her through me but now I’m not so sure. What do you think it means? Please help. (more…)
Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “What do you guys think of a new date who wants to sleep over but doesn’t want to have sex?”
Straight Single Guy (Max): Personally, I say bravo. The longer you make me work for it the better everything will be. This applies to both the sex and any possible relationship. Girls, who so often seem only interested in those who aren’t available or interested, should know this. If you really like a guy, make him work for intercourse. Make him get creative. If he can’t take it, then ditch the dude. It shouldn’t be just about “sex right now.” As a great man once said, “The best part of the affair is the walk up the stairs.” Too many times I’ve gone all the way with a girl and then immediately lost interest. This is, believe it or not, frustrating for guys too. Mystery is good. So please, come on over and tease me. Don’t be cold, and please let me try to pleasure you in other ways, but always feel free to say “wait.”
Gay Committed Guy (Mark): I once dated a guy who had recently broken up with someone, and we were ostensibly cool with sleepovers — kissing, with shirts off, but the boxers stayed on. I wanted more; he wasn’t ready; we split after a month. But whatever the gender(s), and assuming one person isn’t sleeping on the couch, there’s so much gray area between snuggling in jammies and fucking — yes, the ever-elusive definition of “sex” — that it’s only fair for you and your “date” to be totally up front with each other about boundaries and expectations before hopping into bed. Let’s face it, though: most guys are going to try to push that boundary sooner or later (usually sooner — I did, and I tend to be too scared of rejection ever to make a move). However, if by “new date” you mean some theoretical dude you meet at a party some night, do yourself a favor and splurge on a cab home (your own, alone), then worry about who calls whom in the next couple of days.
Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered
The other week, the ladies on “The View” got into a debate about the existence and “alleged” location of the G-spot. Considering all the lip service (ha!) given to the G-spot in women’s mags, we thought we’d gotten beyond all this. Apparently not. The View gals referred to a Yahoo.com article that claimed it doesn’t exist! (We think this is what they were referring to.) Sadly, there just isn’t enough serious medical research on the topic or serious discussion in popular media about actual anatomy for everyone to be on the same page. But there is enough to give us confidence we know what’s up, so we’re here to set everyone straight. (Barbara Walters, call us!):
AN INTRO TO THE G-SPOT
The “G-spot” doesn’t refer to a magic button that’s guaranteed to transport all women everywhere to orgasmic bliss every time it’s pressed; nor does it refer to your (or your girlfriend’s) own personal sweet spot (whether it’s in the vagina or the armpit). No, the G-spot is a particularly sensitive area that’s stimulated by applying pressure to roof of the vagina — and provoking it may or may not lead to orgasm and/or female ejaculation. Like almost everything about sex, it depends. (You’ll find G-spot enthusiasts arguing this point, claiming that all women can enjoy G stim and ejaculate, but the research we’ve seen on the matter — this is one study, for example — says it ain’t so. Besides, we think that’s just too much performance pressure to put on a sista).
THE “DISCOVERY” OF THE G-SPOT…
Online dating neophytes will sometimes get lured into a blind date with someone whose profile boasts that they bear a striking resemblance to, say, Robert Pattinson. It takes only one — okay, maybe two or three — dating disappointments before the neophyte realizes that (a) some people have a very loose definition of “resemblance”; and (b) someone who truly believes that he resembles Robert Pattinson makes a terrible date. (Unless he does, actually, resemble Robert Pattinson, in which case you might be willing to give him a pass in the personality department for the night.) Seriously, though: Anyone who thinks they’re a celeb look-a-like is probably also still convinced they’re as special as their momma always told them they were.
A weekly roundup of some of our favorite sex- and love-related posts from various blogs and websites:
When you, as an adult, spend the majority of your time creating adorable G-rated worlds for kids, that hidden sexual side of you is bound to come out — and probably, shall we say, enthusiastically. (Anyone remember the movie S.O.B. in which squeaky clean Julie “Mary Poppins” Andrews rips off her top and exposes her boobies? No? Good. It’s scarring.) Well, in their spare time, four Pixar animators have been working on a series of cool art books, the second and most recent of which is “The Ancient Book of Sex and Science” (the first was the now sold-out “Ancient Book of War and Myth“). It’s got some highly stylized, retro-looking, kooky and quirky artwork on nookie and nerds, with text from each of the artists across from their respective works that gives insight into each piece (the text from Nate Wragg below accompanies his creation above). Check out Nerve’s sneak peak and interview with Scott Morse, another one of the four Pixar guys, as well as Gallery Nucleus’s gallery of original art from the book (some of which, as far as we can tell, is still available for sale at pretty reasonable rates).
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