Is Cuckolding a Real Trend, Or Just Another Internet Meme?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your thoughts in the comments section. 

Dear Em & Lo,

A lot of erotica & porn is devoted to cuckolding (either interracial or less racially oriented). Observers claim that many women are happily liberating their “inner slut” by freely exploring their sexuality, mostly via fuck-buddy-style sex with partners outside their primary relationship (boyfriend or spouse), & often with BF or husband’s permission, encouragement or participation.

Is all this supposed increase in women being free to “fuck around like men do” just another internet meme or popular theme in porn — or is such a phenomenon truly occurring to any significant degree? The blogs (tumblr & elsewhere) that flaunt amateur pics & video are quite numerous, so I wonder if this might in fact be a growing subculture, in the US & Europe. Any insight you can offer?

— Cuckold-Curious

Leave your thoughts for C.C. in the comments section below!


  1. My wife passed away in May of 2014, so I feel free to share now. I had never heard the term ‘cuckold’ until just last year, 2017. I suppose you could say that I became an accidental cuckold when I walked in on my then girlfriend giving a ‘goodbye’ blowjob to her last boyfriend. I guess at this point I should also mention that at age 21 I learned something new about myself while serving in the U.S. Navy. I had never been attracted to a man and had girl friends and one-night stands (being a musician in the 70s and 80s pretty much guaranteed you were going to get laid, even if the band wasn’t very good). But I met one gentleman, and he truly was a gentle soul, who I became sexually attracted to even though I could never quite explain why. I eventually gave in to my desire and told him, and he was receptive to me being his ‘girlfriend’, although he would not be reciprocating my pleasure. That was not a problem for me because I just wanted to take care of this man’s sexual urges while meeting my own with female partners. It was during this relationship that I realized I was bisexual in nature, although I have never been attracted to someone of the same sex quite like I was with my ‘boyfriend’. So, when I walked in and found my girlfriend giving oral sex to her ex, for whatever reason I became turned on and my own penis went from flaccid to fully erect in about a nano-second. I still have no idea why it turned me on so much and made me indulge my bisexual nature that night and probably never will. She already knew of my past experiences as I did of hers since we kept no secrets from each other. I then asked if they were going to fuck, he immediately said yes while she said no, but I told her if she wanted to it was okay by me. And they did, but he obviously had no clue how to actually be a good lover and it was not the best sexual experience for her even though I was able to masturbate and enjoyed watching. She would never see this man again as he lived in the L.A. area and we lived in the Monterey Bay area. We discussed this event and our feelings about what had happened and if she would ever want to do this with someone else. She said there were times when she met someone and had the desire for something to happen but had not taken the chance because of her feelings for me. I told her that if she felt that way again she could act on it as long as I was there to make sure the guy wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want to happen. She only did it once, had a very unsatisfying sexual experience and said she never wanted to try it again. Being able to satisfy her sexual urges myself, I had no problem with her decision. We were married about 10 months later and remained married for 30 years in an absolutely happy, wonderful and sex filled marriage until her untimely death at age 53. It just so happens that she also ended up kind of becoming a ‘reverse’ cuckold, since she brought several of her friends and one of her sisters to our bed when she learned on their own need to be satisfied sexually and knew I could do the job for them. So, I don’t know if this helps the discussion, but wanted to chime in and say that this was my experience in 1984 and that this kind of thing really does happen.

  2. Most of it on internet is stage where performers are paid but they stage them to look amateur,I’ve notice many of them in other vids playing other part with different wives/husband ,even those like Janet Mason ,jade Jamison,Rio are not amateur their just not sign with a lable company,I’d said 80% of them are staged, but it dose go on in real life just not as much as they put on it dose,you got to remember it’s a business and like any business they feed what make them money.in porn they feed fetishs like gang bangs,anal, bondage ,cuckoldlings a fetish that men and women have so just like some people want to see hairey women it her look at cuckold ,in porn this day and time you can find bout anything you might think up it’s became sick

  3. 15 years ago I gave my Wife to be a CB-2000 male chastity device and promised her I would wear it when ever she wanted, because her previous husband and live in boyfriend both left her for the other women they were doing. I wanted her to know I was serious and would be faithful to her.
    I never thought they actually worked or that my vanilla Wife would actually make me wear it, but within three years she was demanding and requiring I always wear it.. The past eight years I have been in a stainless steel device. My Wife says it makes me a better husband and she will never allow my penis to be free.
    Male Chastity device sales continue to go up every year, so it makes me wonder at what point will every husband be wearing one? I used to be a jealous guy, but since being chastity all the time I now would accept her having other lovers and remain faithful.

  4. I am no longer sure the place you’re getting your info, but great topic. I needs to spend a while studying much more or understanding more. Thanks for wonderful info I was on the lookout for this info for my mission.

  5. Until a few years ago, the reported practice of cuckolding in the West used to be a mystery to me also. But discreet inquiries confirmed that not only this has become quite a growing reality in the West but even in the Orient this is on the increase as an offshoot of permissiveness. The husband may or may not take the initiative or make arrangements, he tends to ignore the happenings. Some husbands even befriend the ‘guest’ or ‘paramour’ of wife treating him like a ‘service-provider’ even if the issue involved is wife’s ‘chastity’ (sic) who had taken the vow of fidelity along with him at the time of marriage. The wives, on the other hand, besides sexual urge (often not adequately fulfilled by the husband), look ‘outside’ in the wake of ‘freedom’ and ‘modernity’ and helped by the leaders in the peer group. Sex is now regarded by women like another natural hunger to satisfy which neither ‘home-cooked’ food is a preferred nor the attraction of new dishes is considered unhealthy to be shunned. Being a woman myself and having talked to dozens of women, as well as couples, on the subject, I can vouchsafe for it. My DH surprised me when I tried to know his views ‘theoretically’ not very long ago, He first laughed heartily and then told me not to be shy or secretive about it. He told me that he knew that I am bisexual and have had sex several times with two men, whose names he took – correctly. He even told me that out of curiosity he was contemplating to even see me in action , if it was not objected to by me and my paramours that is, and if he got any sexual kicks out of it. it would be ‘bonus’ and we could then have repeats. Incidentally, even at the age of 46 my husband continues to be well satisfying sexually; also I have no clue of his seeking other women…or men.
    Times are fast changing; those who resist would be fighting a losing battle.

    1. Very interesting Suvarsha I would love to chat with you about your experience. I wonder if what we see as new behavior is just more open and visible behavior. I think that women have always had sex with who they wish or at least some have. The question should be why does a woman want her husband to know and accept that she has sex with other men. Many women who have a cuckold husband not only want him to accept her sexual behavior but to participate and often service the other men or to let her friends know he is a cuckold. Cuckolding is often a form of domination and the husband is trained to feel sexual pleasure by submitting and positive reinforcement makes him more willing. Kissing your wife after she has performed oral on another man is not much different than performing it and often ends up with hubby sucking. I doubt that race has much to do with it since personality traits are universal.

  6. I definitely think it is real. I have been cuckolding my husband, Sven, for a year now and we both love it. Many of my lovers have been bigger and better in bed than hubby and he also enjoys the humiliation a bit. In the end I just need more and better sex than what he can provide.
    He is usually just watching and not participating though.

    1. Hi Sara,
      I REALLY want to introduce this to my wife. She’s VERY vanilla and we’ve had problems in the past with MY infidelity. Honestly, I feel like the ONLY way I can gain enough control to remain faithful is to have her CAGE and Cuckold me. Any suggestions?

Comments are closed.