We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your thoughts in the comments section.
Dear Em & Lo,
A lot of erotica & porn is devoted to cuckolding (either interracial or less racially oriented). Observers claim that many women are happily liberating their “inner slut” by freely exploring their sexuality, mostly via fuck-buddy-style sex with partners outside their primary relationship (boyfriend or spouse), & often with BF or husband’s permission, encouragement or participation.
Is all this supposed increase in women being free to “fuck around like men do” just another internet meme or popular theme in porn — or is such a phenomenon truly occurring to any significant degree? The blogs (tumblr & elsewhere) that flaunt amateur pics & video are quite numerous, so I wonder if this might in fact be a growing subculture, in the US & Europe. Any insight you can offer?
— Cuckold-Curious
Leave your thoughts for C.C. in the comments section below!
My wife had sex with another man even though our sex life was great. Eventually she convinced me to allow her to have sex with other men and to join in she even had me recruit other men. She has had many partners over the decades and I have been involved in most of the action. Once we started it became obvious that cuckolding is common all over and involves people from various cultures and races. I was surprised by how many men wanted me to service them
As an Indian in the US when I tried to find sex with women it wasnt very encouraging. The one night I had an idea changed my profile to half black (I’m very dark and muscular being a South Indian) and posted my ad in the M looking for couples. Lo and behold the responses were so much more ! I now service 3 couples regularly in cuckoldry. Single women…still difficult. So, I guess there is some truth to it.
Yes it is more common. Hubby and I have been in a cuckold marriage for ten years now, and the last three have been really intense. The first seven years I was only with white guys. The last three have ONLY been with the same two black men.
I have seen hubby go from straight to what I think may be gay now. He is not allowed to have sex with me but really enjoys oral sex with my lovers.
Very nice.
Then you’re a criminal
All those trends just show that humans are miserable.
From day to day the world gets a little bit more fucked up, pushed by the media, entertainment and what not.
I honestly didn’t believe any of the cuckold stuff at all . It looked so rehearsed in what they filmed that I couldn’t believe what I saw . Besides how can a man who loves his wife allow her to be with another ? If I were invited to just watch it happen I would be a believer then . I would like to just meet the couple and see for myself that they are an actual couple and then wait for a door bell to ring and watch another man come into their home . Then I would believe it . It is so easy for the folks in adult film industry to fake it because you have lights all over , you can hear camera shutters going off in the background so no as Of now I don’t really think its true . If any couples in this lifestyle would allow me to watch , I would love it and would be respectful of course . I’m not even sure I would watch the whole act unless they said I could . If I just saw permission from the couple for the couple for another man to touch her how ever he wanted may be enough for me .
The cuckold porn you see is contrived, and those are paid actors. Real people do it though. I would, in theory.
This is true it’s stage to look amateur
Let me ask this question to you that are into this , when I see all of it online much of it looks like Porn with Porn Actors in it . But you guys say you do it so how does it begin for most of you ??? Is it watching your Wife with another man right in front of you ? Why is that a turn on for you , is he bigger or what ? I am asking because I am trying to understand and not judge . I am just asking , so please help me understand your lives . Someone said in an article I read that ” You are only One experience or swap away from the end or your Marriage or Relationship ” ? Is that true and if so do you at all worry ? What about Rules , lets say it’s Thursday night and its your day to do it , what about those other Days Is your spouse allowed to go and see them or does it have to be on THE day . Thank you for your time and effort with this .
Most of what is online is acting. I am a voyuer. I get great pleasure from seeing her with someone. It has nothing to o with the size of his penis, or even level of performance. we talked about it a lot before we tried it, and took small steps. A few times of just watching her make out, and eventually the full act. We dont do this often. maybe 2-3 times a year with carefully chosen partners. It is not for everyone, but we like it.
Thanks for sharing, jimbob. Sounds like you guys approached this in a very smart and thoughtful way. Any advice you want to share with new couples just getting started out?
My husband got me into “hotwifing” which was weird before I learned to enjoy it. The variety was great and some were just much better than my husband.
It became more of a cuckolding thing when I started doing it more often and for my own pleasure rather than for hubby’s kink.
The cuck aspect was more intense as I would lose interest in sex with my husband when my needs were better met from a lover.
I have two married friends that are involved in the Hotwife / Cuckold fetish. I would think that it is indeed on the rise.
I would say it is both. But, and a very important but. I think the fantasy is the powerful thing and most men, if they want to live this fantasy out, they do so in a Pseudo fantasy way. Meaning they usually would go to say…a dominatrix, in which he would be cuckolded by the dominatrix instead of his actual wife. As for this in porn, it is quite common and becoming much more visible and popular in the Female Domination/Fetish scene.
I was in a pseudo cuckold relationship and loved it.
I say pseudo because we cuckolded each other from time to time. She did most of the activity but once in awhile I’d bring another girl home. She was Bi.
She loved “catching” me in the act with another girl and then joining in.
90% of the time it was her with other men either in front of me or just before I got home.
There was never any interracial stuff or bisexual acts by me ever. That would’ve been a turn off for her although I was open to be orally giving but that’s it.
I DID however eat creampies on the occasion when it was safe to go bareback.
That was as far as our humiliation ever went. Well, it went further in the sense that she would pick up guys at the club I worked at…so I could see things progress and so could my coworkers…Often they would tell me they saw my GF dancing/making out/leaving with another guy. I just casually said we have an open relationship and would play off as super confident….truth is I liked that humiliation. I liked knowing that everyone knew my girl was going to get fucked by some dude at closing time and that I would be going home to her after I clocked out. She always had between an hour and an hour and a half to get home and get fucked…often she’d time it so that I’d see him leaving and going to his car as I was pulling up. I would text her when I left work so she could do that. I loved knowing I was getting fresh seconds!
The range of emotions though was the real high…being trapped at work yet seeing her do her thing and knowing she was going to get fucked before I got home was very intense…it was a turn on but also there’s fear, jealousy, humiliation and I would often get a knot in my stomach and feel like I was in a bubble…
I would never want to be a feminized or denied cuckold though…I like to get seconds…although SOME chastity play, would be fun I in no way would ever want that as a lifestyle.
@ Bob T: Your “impression is that I’m doing them a favor.” What gives you that impression? Did you make that up to assuage your guilt, or have you asked these guys (who you know) whether they mind what you’re up to? You think no one has the “right to demand sexual fidelity from a partner.” Really? Based on what? What if two people pledge fidelity to one another? Just doesn’t count, because you have a different view? Do you have any idea how toxic infidelity is? Head in the sand just a bit, Bob T?
I am a dominatrix to a white clientele, and I can tell you that my top 2 requests are cuckolding with a black man involved and male sex with a black man.
For some men, cuckolding is about humiliation. For others, it is strictly a turn-on to just watch another man with his wife. Keep in mind, too, that this genre draws the educated crowd, which is why it is often called the PhD of Kink.
Must admit, I’ve developed a thing for married ladies. Reason is that when you get together, there’s none of this courtship drama, no ‘rescue me.’ Just straight-up sex. The less complication, the better it is and they know it.
As for their relationship with the husband, that’s none of my business. I do insist on discretion, and make it clear i have no interest in disrupting the marriage. I do slightly know a few of the guys, and my impression is that I’m doing them a favor.
Besides, I just flat do not believe that anyone has a right to demand sexual fidelity of a partner. If you feel like it, you are. And if not, you don’t.
I could not agree more with that last sentence. It ruins so many otherwise good erotic stories on various erotic story websites.
Also, don’t forget that the possibility that “women are happily liberating their *inner slut* by freely exploring their sexuality” doesn’t necessarily mean cuckolding. It could mean swinging, or polyamory, or some other setup.
Penthouse Forum had stories about “wife-watching” decades ago: it seems like a kink with a history. If the “Sex at Dawn”/”sperm competition” people are to be believed, the idea of a man getting of on the idea of “his” woman (please note the scare quotes) being with another guy may even be something we’re hard-wired for.
The whole racial thing is another question though. It’s really, really disturbing, and any focus on that in, say, a story, ruins so much of what makes the idea hot.
It’s both. It’s a real fetish that got memed up, which increased awareness of the fetish, and attracted even more enthusiasts. Now it’s an incredibly common one for men and women, although I’d guess that most couples still keep it in the realm of fantasy without actually acting it out.