Comment of the Week: The Madonna/Whore Complex

photo via Flickr

Johnny, commenting on “Your Call: Should I Lie to Virgin BF About My Body Count?”:

Don’t lie. Also don’t frame it as “self-esteem issues that manifested as blah blah blah…”

In my opinion that’s something women do to accomodate their own and their mens’ Madonna/whore complex: chalk it up to some Freudian void that had to be filled by sex, but you now realize how wrong that was, and you’re so sorry you acted like a slut…

It makes sex sound like something fucked-up women do, and quit doing so much once they “get better.” It also makes sex into something that you have to apologize for or at least make excuses for, which it ain’t.

Instead, present yourself as a woman who’s liberated enough to enjoy sex, and your lucky boyfriend is the guy who gets to reap the benefits.

I can’t guarantee that he won’t have a good ol’ Madonna/whore tantrum over this, and I do think you’re nice to take his feelings into account, but I don’t think you should lie.