Comment of the Week: There’s No Such Thing As “The One”

photo via Flickr

While romantic idealism is great for the movies, it’s not so great for real-life long-term monogamy. Which is we loved Bryan‘s practical breakdown this week of one readers question: “How do I know he’s The One?“:

Testing your relationship by asking “Can I live without this person?” is setting yourself up for doubt. The idea of “the one” is romantic, but not practical. It’s based in fantasy. You are better off asking yourself some easier to answer questions, such as:

  • Does this person provide emotional and material support when I need it?
  • Does this person fit well into my lifestyle and beliefs, or will we always be going our separate ways for fun, political engagement, religious activities, etc.?
  • Does this person want kids, and do I want kids?
  • Do we see eye to eye on that? Are we of like minds financially, i.e. are we savers or spenders?
  • Last but not least, are we sexually compatible?

While these questions aren’t quite as entertaining as speculating “is he the one?”, incompatibility in these areas are primary reasons relationships fail.



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