In response to the Wise Guy post “Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Porn?”, fellow Wise Guy Johnny jumped in to the fray and outlined the 5 ways a hetero guy can tell when he’s crossed the line:

Oh yeah. With my gal out of the country for ten days, I am currently in the throes of “too much porn.” I have been abusing myself like I was 18 again. She comes home in 2 days, so I cut myself off yesterday to restore my depleted vigors. How to determine what’s ‘too much porn’ is easy:

1. Too much is when you watch for much longer than it takes to get a boner and jack off.
2. Too much is when your stroking becomes increasingly furious yet your fluid output dwindles to practically nothing.
3. Too much is when you couldn’t get laid even if your dream girl stormed your bedroom because you’re so wanked out.
4. Too much is when you develop a sore on your penis
5. Too much is when watching a beautiful young girl have sex is no longer enough, and you need to consume increasingly sick shit to get turned on.

I could go on, but I feel like those are the main points.