Comment of the Week: Watching Women Kiss Is About Control, Not Sex

photo via flickr

Reader Michael wrote the following in response to our post “Wise Guys: How Do Men Feel About Their Girlfriends Kissing Other Women?”

From childhood we are conditioned to this reaction we have regarding same sex intimacy. Girls run around the playground holding hands and hugging. Boys face a very different environment in which this is unacceptable.

Our notion of what is inappropriate behavior is formulated by this ongoing stigma that is attached to males showing intimacy. Males learn to abhor the idea of it yet have no problem with female on female intimacy. It has become a self-pepretuating meme or belief. Heck, even straight pornography almost always contains girl on girl sex. It never has man on man. In our hypersexual society girl on girl doesn’t mean homosexuality at all.

So this really comes down to a control issue. If the man feels he has some control and benefits from the act, no problem. If the control starts to slip away, problem. It’s no longer about sex at that point.

In my opinion, if you have no issue with your girl kissing another girl because it’s only sex play, then what’s the difference if it’s a girl or guy? You either trust or don’t. It either means nothing or it means something. If you say, yeah but that doesn’t turn me on….then it’s about control.