Our contributor, a woman who wishes to remain anonymous, has a confession to make.
My boyfriend’s butt is beautiful. It’s pretty. It’s plump. It fits in the palm of my hand. I can’t keep my hands off it, and simply touching it turns me on. I’ve spanked it, kissed it, rubbed it, grabbed it, bit it — and now I want to stick something in it. A strap-on dildo to be exact. I want to bend that boy over, face down, bum up, and do him in the most dirty of ways. I want to make his prostate gland giddy with anal afternoon delight.
So last November I said to him, “I want to do you in the butt with a strap-on. I think it’s only fair.” He’s not only put his peen in my vajayjay, he’s poked me in the tush too.
“Um, no.” He laughed nervously and changed the subject. Needless to say, this no-bullshit approach did not work.
Unwavering in my attempt to stick my strap-on dildo where the sun don’t shine, I approached him again in December with a more sensitive strategy: “Just because I want to pack your fudge and you let me doesn’t mean you are a fudge packer, baby.” I thought assuring him I wouldn’t think he was gay, but rather a try-anything-sexual would work for sure. Sadly, this simply wasn’t the case.
“I know,” he replied, “I just don’t want a dick in my butt. It’s not going to feel good.”
With this important information, I devised a more detailed put-it-in-the-pooper plan. In January, sounding oh so scientific (and as cute as can be), I spouted off some knowledge gleaned from this very site:
“The prostate gland is similar in size and shape to a walnut. It is located at the base of the bladder and surrounds the ejaculatory ducts and urethra. It is essentially the equivalent of the female G-spot, hence it’s called the P-spot. When stimulated during anal sex, it can produce orgasms. The P-spot is your best friend and you’re ignoring him. That’s not very nice, now is it? From what I hear he is very fun to hang out with. Perhaps you should make a play date.”
Silence…more silence…then finally, what my pretty little ears have always wanted to hear. “Maybe…”
After a month of many talks about how to travel the brown brick road, we agreed that purchasing a vibrating anal plug would be the best way to get things started. February arrived and with it a text message from my boyfriend that read, “I’m really excited for you to do me in the butt. Wanna buy a butt plug today?” Hell yes I do. Butt plug today, strap-on tomorrow!
Last week we went to Fascinations, a local sex shop, and purchased our very first 4-inch blue butt plug. We rushed home, stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed. He looked a bit uneasy.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked him. “I only want to do this if you’re comfortable with it.”
“It’s probably going to feel like a turd,” he laughed. Not the response I was hoping for, but he bent over, face down, bum up, just as I’d imagined, and after applying a little lube I eased that blue puppy in.
I started slow and soft, in and out, in and out, then applied a bit more pressure. After a few minutes I turned on the vibrator located inside the butt plug. It was loud. Very loud. The longer I sat there on my knees behind him, the more I felt like I should be wearing latex gloves and a lab coat; perhaps throw in a clipboard and stethoscope as well. Probing is the word that came to mind. It felt far too formal for my liking, and I could tell by his silence and his face in the mirror behind our bed that he was not enjoying the ride.
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s try a different approach.” We sat for a few minutes and discussed what would feel good. We agreed that foreplay first without the butt plug was a good idea.
Some plug-free fondling led to some plug-free fellatio. And when he was good and ready, I popped the plug back in. He liked this combination of front and back attention much better, as did I. But after a while my mouth and hands needed a break, so we resumed the prostate exploration in the spooning position. I inserted the butt plug half-way in and angled it up towards his belly button to start. “That feels really good. It’s vibrating my balls.” Then I pushed the plug all the way in and started feeling around left to right. “That doesn’t feel so good,” he said. So I started making soft, slow circles inside. He liked that a lot.
After about an hour our anal endeavor was over and the search for his prostate gland was called off. He didn’t orgasm and he was strangely quiet as we lay there. It occurred to me that maybe I was asking too much. Maybe expecting amazing orgasms from just the push of a button was unrealistic. Maybe we should have thought of the plug as a side dish rather than the main course. Maybe P-spot stimulation just doesn’t work for some guys, just like some ladies hate having their G-spot touched…
Then he turned to me, smiling, and said, “Practice makes perfect, baby. I’m ready for round two. What about you?”
Like I said, butt plug today, strap-on tomorrow.
Emma, have you seen the feeldoe or it’s new relative the realdoe. If you are going to do all that work, you deserve to get a lot of stimulation back from it, and an easy way to get started.
Stevo, again, beautiful satire. A Modest Proposal has nothing on you.
Feminism contradicts anthropology and evolution in all kinds of ways. They blame everything on “society.” I see what Joe was trying to say, but I don’t think it was articulated very well. Sex is a product of evolution, typical women view the penis as a symbol of power because they are hardwired to think that those with penises (men) have authority. In tribal society the men provided security, women would typically gain “power” through relationships with the men. Which is why women are so interested in movies and books about relationships. Notice emma said “I prefer to believe that he is proud because society prizes this attribute”
She BELIEVES…. oh OK. Feminism is just another religion.
Good for you Emma .. you have no idea how tiring it is as a man to be expected to “always be on top” in so many areas of life & relationships … I actually thought your comments where honest & open exploration of your ego and I applaud you for them ..
There are certainly times were I would like to surrender and be on the receiving end .. but that is simply not ok …
I think humanity would be well served to move beyond the idea of Gender, race, colour or sexual preference. We are all beings exploring what it is to have a body and if you relationship is working for you then power to you.
What a beautiful description! I enjoyed reading this story and it really made me horny as this is one of dreams, hopefully one day it will come true as it did for you.
I’m fascinated by all posts in this thread and love all of you.
Girls, Don’t expect your guys to orgasm from anal stimulation alone. If done right, it does feel extremely good but not the orgasm kind of good for most. If you combine it with stimulation of the penis then you might give him an amazing orgasm!
Maybe if you spent more time doing it rather than blabbering on about it you’d see it in its most simplest form, kinky sex, nothing more nothing less.
And for everybody thats going on and on about reproduction, jesus, im surprised we’re not already extinct.
All talk little action.
Where do you live?
All this site is about is male bashing,that would explain all the penis size articles here and all the hurtful misandric comments all over this site.You folks are NOT very clever you know d!mn well that you feminist types throw the size thing around as fodder to slam men.You must think everyone is stupid or something? Its sad that these so called feminists who constantly rail about the lack of equality everywhere are usually the ones who engage in the most destructive,hurtful propaganda and slander themselves.
Lol at Jared. Best satire written after A Modest Proposal.
@Emma
Not to take things off topic, but feminism is not about equality. Feminists do not fight for equality. They fight for women’s rights, and only in certain areas. The biggest problem with feminism is it concentrates on only what the “disadvantages” of being a women are and none of the “positives”. It actually does the exact opposite for men. Concentration on men who passed the “glass ceiling” and landed themselves a CEO position. Yet in reality, most men are on the bottom.
Women receive far more government funding than men. 75% of government funding for medical needs is used by women, yet men live less and suffer from more chronic disease.
Education grants are extremely biased. As men drop out of college, Women receive far more government grants, even though they make up the majority of students. Women also receive grants for studying a major dominated by men, however, men do not receive grants for majors dominated by women such as nursing, one of the nations highest paying degree’s.
Child custody and divorce laws are extremely biased. Often in court we view women as “nurturing and better for child development”……wait a second ladies, I thought we were equal…. oh I guess not when it benefits you. Men are ripped away from their children and forced to pay up to half of their checks to their ex-wives making it impossible to start a new life.
Feminists are the ultimate manipulators. Many are very well educated, especially in areas of statistics. Often feminists will manipulate statistics to their favor, such as the women make 75% to a mans dollar myth. However often media with feminist agenda will leave out categories of work where women make more than men. They also do not take in account for hours worked. Also the 1/4 of women are raped statistic. It comes from a 1985 study which clarified “rape” as a regrettable one night stand. Of course feminists know this but do not care if their agenda is being pushed.
Men make up to 80% of the homeless, not including boys under 18. Do men receive gender only government assitance? No, women do!
Men make up 88% of suicides. Do men receive gender only government assitance? No, women do!
Misandry is widely accepted. Ever see a shirt, “Boys do it better than girls” or “Beat the girls”, ”Man Power”…No… of course not. However the same cannot be said for girls. If a child starts off with hatred or contempt for the opposite gender then how do you think they will act as an adult? Shouldn’t we be working as a team instead of competing against each other.
The fact of you being a feminist just shows how corrupt and illogical your way of thinking is. Your leadership is in no way natural.
Emma…. I loved your story and would just love to be with a woman like you..!!! Men need to be put in their pace at times. I’m a tall, confident and very dominant intelligent guy, being forced into submission is remarkably relaxing for a guy like me. I love being controlled…because normally, I’m always in control.
Where can I find my own copy of you…!
I don’t care that you fuk him but your approach, your determination, and the time you were planning to do him is just quite devilish, the same way Satan approaches people. I am wondering if you do you do every thing in life in such passion and determination! rules is changing, women are not pleased by having such an era which it never happened in thousands of years, but now they want to fuk men too! who knows in the next 50 years maybe you would ask men to get pregnant for you so you can enjoy having toned body! even if anal penetration can be enjoyable you should have respected his manhood, what an embarrassment if his friends and family finds out that you have become his fucker!
Will you lot Chill Strap on play is all about power exchange, some people enjoy pain you all seem very close minded for the type of people who would visit this forum!