Our contributor, a woman who wishes to remain anonymous, has a confession to make.
My boyfriend’s butt is beautiful. It’s pretty. It’s plump. It fits in the palm of my hand. I can’t keep my hands off it, and simply touching it turns me on. I’ve spanked it, kissed it, rubbed it, grabbed it, bit it — and now I want to stick something in it. A strap-on dildo to be exact. I want to bend that boy over, face down, bum up, and do him in the most dirty of ways. I want to make his prostate gland giddy with anal afternoon delight.
So last November I said to him, “I want to do you in the butt with a strap-on. I think it’s only fair.” He’s not only put his peen in my vajayjay, he’s poked me in the tush too.
“Um, no.” He laughed nervously and changed the subject. Needless to say, this no-bullshit approach did not work.
Unwavering in my attempt to stick my strap-on dildo where the sun don’t shine, I approached him again in December with a more sensitive strategy: “Just because I want to pack your fudge and you let me doesn’t mean you are a fudge packer, baby.” I thought assuring him I wouldn’t think he was gay, but rather a try-anything-sexual would work for sure. Sadly, this simply wasn’t the case.
“I know,” he replied, “I just don’t want a dick in my butt. It’s not going to feel good.”
With this important information, I devised a more detailed put-it-in-the-pooper plan. In January, sounding oh so scientific (and as cute as can be), I spouted off some knowledge gleaned from this very site:
“The prostate gland is similar in size and shape to a walnut. It is located at the base of the bladder and surrounds the ejaculatory ducts and urethra. It is essentially the equivalent of the female G-spot, hence it’s called the P-spot. When stimulated during anal sex, it can produce orgasms. The P-spot is your best friend and you’re ignoring him. That’s not very nice, now is it? From what I hear he is very fun to hang out with. Perhaps you should make a play date.”
Silence…more silence…then finally, what my pretty little ears have always wanted to hear. “Maybe…”
After a month of many talks about how to travel the brown brick road, we agreed that purchasing a vibrating anal plug would be the best way to get things started. February arrived and with it a text message from my boyfriend that read, “I’m really excited for you to do me in the butt. Wanna buy a butt plug today?” Hell yes I do. Butt plug today, strap-on tomorrow!
Last week we went to Fascinations, a local sex shop, and purchased our very first 4-inch blue butt plug. We rushed home, stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed. He looked a bit uneasy.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked him. “I only want to do this if you’re comfortable with it.”
“It’s probably going to feel like a turd,” he laughed. Not the response I was hoping for, but he bent over, face down, bum up, just as I’d imagined, and after applying a little lube I eased that blue puppy in.
I started slow and soft, in and out, in and out, then applied a bit more pressure. After a few minutes I turned on the vibrator located inside the butt plug. It was loud. Very loud. The longer I sat there on my knees behind him, the more I felt like I should be wearing latex gloves and a lab coat; perhaps throw in a clipboard and stethoscope as well. Probing is the word that came to mind. It felt far too formal for my liking, and I could tell by his silence and his face in the mirror behind our bed that he was not enjoying the ride.
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s try a different approach.” We sat for a few minutes and discussed what would feel good. We agreed that foreplay first without the butt plug was a good idea.
Some plug-free fondling led to some plug-free fellatio. And when he was good and ready, I popped the plug back in. He liked this combination of front and back attention much better, as did I. But after a while my mouth and hands needed a break, so we resumed the prostate exploration in the spooning position. I inserted the butt plug half-way in and angled it up towards his belly button to start. “That feels really good. It’s vibrating my balls.” Then I pushed the plug all the way in and started feeling around left to right. “That doesn’t feel so good,” he said. So I started making soft, slow circles inside. He liked that a lot.
After about an hour our anal endeavor was over and the search for his prostate gland was called off. He didn’t orgasm and he was strangely quiet as we lay there. It occurred to me that maybe I was asking too much. Maybe expecting amazing orgasms from just the push of a button was unrealistic. Maybe we should have thought of the plug as a side dish rather than the main course. Maybe P-spot stimulation just doesn’t work for some guys, just like some ladies hate having their G-spot touched…
Then he turned to me, smiling, and said, “Practice makes perfect, baby. I’m ready for round two. What about you?”
Like I said, butt plug today, strap-on tomorrow.
i had a conversation my wife about that very thing and shes open to it iam 28 and just wanted to try other things in the bedroom i love the idea of my wife being in control and giving it to me.but she does not understand why it such a turn on any ideas on how to tell her.
I’ve always enjoyed anal sex with my partner very much. Many months back my girlfriend while giving me oral started lightly brushing my anus with her fingers. As the months past it progressed to slipping a finger into me. This went on till we purchased a beginners strap on. The first experience was a failure not because of the intent rather the poor quality. We both wanted to explore the notion of a strap on further and purchased another that was slightly larger and of a much higher quality.
After a few weeks of experimentation with various positions and different lubrications we finally found a few methods that bring us both immense amounts of pleasure. Let me state that I’m not homosexual and have no sexual interest in men. Though I have to say that in the 15 years that I’ve been sexually active nothing makes me cum as hard and long with so much force as when I’m being taken from behind, my partners hands holding me firm and just giving it to me. She finds great pleasure in the control aspect as our roles are reversed and she controls when and how we both cum.
Sex is so much better if you have an open channel of communication as can discuss honestly your ideas, desires and limitations. All I can say is give it a go. In the end (no joke intended) it may not be your thing (and again) but on the other hand you may just find your sexual satisfactions are taken to a whole new level.
Daniel – Australia
Ms Kristen,
Your post is very beautiful but I hope most women have this open mind about pegging. Why to blame men? A simple browsing on most pegging sites clearly shows that men who are into pegging are about 30 times more than women.
Your husband’s situation is similar to mine. I have been only fingered by two of my ex. Although i love being pegged almost every day, I do not like big ones. I prefer the woman to pound my butt but with a small cock.
I think every woman should peg her husband or boyfriend at least few times with different dildos to see if she really loves it. I guess most would.
bim
I absolutely love strapon play , guys may be unreceptive at first but they love it really. I love anal and I dont even have a prostate to be stimulated 😉
Interestingly, it was my then-fiance, now-husband that brought up the idea of anal-play to me. Of course, he wanted to penetrate me– which we experimented with and I’m still on the fence about, though open to further exploration– but surprisingly to me, he quite liked it the other way round as well. We haven’t actually pegged, since he’s sort of on the fence about it, but I’m more than willing to try it if he decides he’s comfortable with it. I think it would be an incredible turn-on; what can I say, the boy has an amazing ass.
I’ve given him p-spot orgasms with my fingers quite often, so I think it’s more the size factor of using a strap-on that he’s iffy about. But I did get him an Aneros as a half-joking birthday gift; he later told me he’d used it and it was pretty great. Me being hesitant about receiving anal sex, it’s actually been encouraging to me the more he’s been open to.
Also, for the fellows who are wondering how to broach this secret desire with their ladyfolk; why not just try talking about your fantasies with your gal and listening to some of hers as well? After our initial conversation on the subject, which was very fun and enlightening, not to mention trust-building, my husband and I periodically have checked in with each other on the subject. It’s been a great benefit to our relationship, and a good way to broach new subjects.
Encouraging her to open up about what makes her excited– which most women will probably appreciate you taking the time to do– will make it easier for you to do the same. And it won’t be as scary as just broaching the subject of pegging by itself.
Plus, I’m sure some women might find it an interesting diversion from the more commonly expressed male desire of wanting to do anal play on her. If she’s worth her salt, she’ll recognize that you wanting to be penetrated by her is a good thing, not a bad one! You’re clearly a fellow with an open mind.
She might not be comfortable with the idea, sure, but if you explain to her your reasons as to why you’re interested in trying it– including talking to her about the prostate if she’s not familiar with that particular use of it– should probably go a long way. And don’t expect someone who’s conservative in bed to change over-night. Remind her that there’s no such thing as a ‘gay’ sex act, if that seems to be the problem. Obviously, you’re asking her because you want it to happen with her. And be honest, let her know it was hard for you to bring up, but hopefully you did because if you want her to be honest with you, you know you need to be honest with her and walk the walk.
Bottom line: Be honest, be clear about your hopes/reasons/expectations, and remember to take her desires and concerns seriously. If it’s gonna be a long slow road, bring it up every so often, but don’t pester. And make sure you’re willing to make some of her fantasies come true as well 😉
Good luck, lads!
I love the woman who enjoys strap on sex a lot, and she can come hard while using it. Fortunately, more and more women today are using strap on sex with their boyfriends or husbands, and enjoy being the penetrators.
bim
Madamoiselle L,
I love your mentality. Take care,
bim
I wouldn’t label or be against you for any reason. I don’t do that to people.
What people like in bed is cool, as long as they and the person they are with are into it. I know enough to know that I like some things other people may not, and I don’t even really give other people’s preferences, if they are different from mine, a second thought. Everybody is different. One should never be judged by what kind of sex they like, as long as it is consensual.
It was good to straighten that out.
Take care.
🙂
Madamoiselle,
You don’t disagree with me.
When I said “What pleases us in sex is all good, even if what pleases one person does not please the other; that’s quite normal.” this does NOT mean forcing at all. I didn’t mean couples, but people in general. That is, all of what I meant is that we should be “tolerant” with each other’s sexuality. For instance, you should not be against me because i love being on the receiving end of anal sex. Nor should you label me as feminine or gay.
So, Bin, only “wives” use this form of sex as a form of “feminizing” their men? And although you like it, you DON’T like women (wives, I guess) who do it for that reason, which appears to be most married women, who enjoy this? I don’t get it.
You also said: “What pleases us in sex is all good, even if what pleases one person does not please the other; that’s quite normal.” I HAVE TO DISAGREE with this. NOTHING should be done in bed unless both parties agree to it and enjoy it. I agree there is a learning curve when you try something new (bondage, anal sex, certain types of power play, oral sex, even normal intercourse, in the beginning) but one partner should NEVER force or coerce the other into something they don’t want to do, and no one should do anything which they really don’t like, just to “please” the other. I am not talking about long-term relationship “Obligation Sex” which is common when you’ve been together for a while, everybody gives in and has sex to “please” their partner from time to time, when you know they really need it, I am talking certain repeatedly engaging in certain ACTS which one or the other DOESN’T like.
I’m a “wife” and although I have nothing against this type of sex play, and know people who certainly enjoy it, my Man and I don’t partake in it. (So, that isn’t the reason I am questioning you.) In fact, I’m usually a LOT more submissive than he ever is in bed. (he’s NEVER submissive, unless you count his liking to just lie there during some blow jobs, which is really fun for both of us. It’s the closest I want to get to Topping.) There is a huge difference between consensual power play and one doing something one REALLY doesn’t like more than “to try it.”
As for Power Play, Being the Bottom is a LOT less work! LOL! At least in my opinion. 🙂
Dear Enrique,
What you have is what I am looking forward to have. Would you please tell me the key to your success? I wonna know how did you convince your girlfriend. Just tell us everything please
OK. Since the woman’s (physical) pleasure was mentioned again, I’ll give the shameless endorsement (again). My wife says the Feeldoe dildo rocks because of the simultaneous clitoris and G-spot stimulation. So needless to say, I feel good knowing that she is being satisfied on many levels while bending me over.
BTW, as far as I know, we do not have strap on sex for a dom/sub appeal. It just feels good for both of us, and not our intent to make it our identity.
Ms Elizabeth,
I am not judging anybody nor stereotyping. This is what i’m actually against. Stereotyping is also when women expect us to be transgender just because we love strap on sex! The same as others expect us to be gays!
I am not implying that it’s you or another woman here who is so. I was just talking in general, also because i got tired of the stereotyping i find in others.
What pleases us in sex is all good, even if what pleases one person does not please the other; that’s quite normal.
Maybe you didn’t read my prior posts well to get my point. I was speaking about most women i’ve found on the net who expect their husbands who love anal sex to also love cuckolding, humiliation, or even transgender. I love the woman to be somewhat masculine, but i do not expect anybody to be this or that.
For example, even though you love pegging, i do not expect that you become a man! So, why women expect us to become women or gays? Why do they expect that we love humiliation if we love anal sex? If a woman loves to receive it in her pussy or butt, does it mean she loves to be humiliated?
When the woman correlates pegging with humiliation, I guess the reason is because this is how she views penetration itself. That is, she views the person who receives (whether man or woman) as humble. Otherwise, she wouldn’t see pegging as humiliation.
I read some of your posts, and i’m happy you know how to differentiate between masculinity and domination. However, my point is this: The same as you can differentiate these two, I think you should also distinguish between power/submission and humiliation.
Pegging reflects some masculine behavior of the woman, without necessarily she being masculine. I’m talking about masculine “role” in sex, not masculine person. Likewise, the man would love to take some feminine role in sex, without necessarily being feminine in the whole life.
Most men may say they love humiliation just for the sake to get strap on sex. They love strap on sex as i do. However, the word humiliation is wrong, because, I as just mentioned, it reflects that the woman feels humiliated if she gets screwed, and she reflects this view on her man. That’s wrong, and reflects a real retarding from the woman’s side. Again, I do not mean any person in specific.
Let’s have sex for sex, and put all the complications behind us, if we really want to be liberal people. Peg him as much as pleases you and enjoy the power you feel, and let him enjoy the sub side he feels. Nothing else than that.
well… I’m a woman who loves it just because it makes me feel powerful. Though, my man enjoys the humilation aspect of it sometimes.
I’m not entirely sure what you mean, because usually submission involves some form of half the things you negated – humiliation, power play, etc. Not necessarily feminization. I just want to know how you all seem to KNOW what “The type” of women who enjoy this are like… Because I’m getting tired of the stereotypes.
well… I’m a woman who loves it just because it makes me feel powerful. Though, my man enjoys the humilation aspect of it sometimes.
I’m not entirely sure what you mean, because usually submission involves some form of half the things you negated – humiliation, power play, etc. Not necessarily feminization. I just want to know how you all seem to KNOW what “The type” of women who enjoy this are like… Because I’m getting tired of the stereotypes.