Dreams: Every Night I Cheat on My Boyfriend with My Ex and Get Caught

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I love him very much but I keep having this recurring dream (every night) about cheating on him with my ex boyfriend. Each dream is different but contains the same idea. The only similarity with each dream is that he catches us every time. I haven’t seen the ex I am dreaming about in over 2 years. Please help! It’s causing a lot of stress and worry! I would never cheat on my boyfriend 🙁

Lauri:  It might make you feel better to know that the cheating dream is extremely common… so common that you can find many variations of it in the archives of this column. The common thread that can be found in the meaning of the cheating dream where the dreamer is doing the cheating is that there is some level of guilt somewhere in the waking psyche of the dreamer. Of course, it’s not necessarily guilt over getting his or her jollies outside of the relationship in real life but rather guilt over thinking or doing something that goes against or takes away from the relationship in some way.

In your dream you are cheating with your ex AND you get caught each time. Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Are there any feelings towards him that still remain? Do you find yourself sometimes comparing your current boyfriend with this ex? Anything about your ex or that relationship that you wish were a part of your current boyfriend or a part of your current relationship? If you answered yes to any of the above, then this is why you keep having the dream and you keep getting caught in the dream because there is a certain level of guilt you have because of these thoughts or feelings. If you answered no to all of the above then perhaps there is something from that relationship that you are bringing into the current relationship such as distrust, frustration or anger. If so, then your dreams are telling you, again and again, that you are allowing it to become a third wheel in the relationship.

It is also possible that your ex may not be playing himself at all but instead may be representing something else from your life that ought to be in the past. So I want you to ask yourself if there is anything else going on in your life or in your thoughts that has you worried from time to time that that your boyfriend may “catch on” and get upset.

No matter what, these dreams are showing you that somewhere in your life or in your relationship or even somewhere in your mind you are stuck. There is something you need to let go of. Here’s the thing to remember about recurring dreams: the dreams cannot change and move forward unless YOU change and move forward. I hope this helps. Let us know.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And check out Lauri’s book Dream On It — it will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too!