Dream Interpretation: I’m Gay But Keep Dreaming About My Straight Friend

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it (18 and older only, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I’m a gay guy, 23, and I’ve been having dreams about my straight best friend — either sex or making out or just being romantic with him. I’ve known him since I was 14. It’s getting a little weird. In real life I don’t believe I fancy the guy, and I certainly don’t want to, as nothing good is ever going to come from that. He’s really open but I’m 100% sure he’s straight. Last night I dreamt I was just holding hands and kissing him and felt amazing about it. Is it just a dream and I should make nothing of it, or is it telling me something?

Lauri: It rubs my fur the wrong way when someone dismisses a dream as “just a dream.” I understand that it’s what we tell ourselves to shake off the realness of the dream, but the truth is, a dream — no matter how disturbing — is a very powerful message from you, to you and about you.

Your dream, while confusing, is a powerful message as well. It’s not a message encouraging you to ravage your friend, but rather a message reflecting the intimacy of your friendship. While there is no sexual intimacy between the two of you, there is probably emotional and intellectual intimacy. Make out sessions in dreams usually reflect deep conversation in real life because, like kissing, it takes two mouths to communicate.  The deeper the kiss in the dream, the deeper the conversation in real life.

Sex in dreams often reflects a “coming together” of the minds. And sex is the ultimate union, two separate bodies joining together as one. The dreaming mind will use sex to symbolize how you may have united politically, emotionally, religiously, etc. with someone else.

This is why so many of our sex dreams involve someone we are not attracted to. It’s not the physical union you want but rather the psychological union you need.  So yes, make nothing of your dream being about the physical plane, but do make something of it being about the psychological plane. You and your best friend are friends for a reason! You two have a united front psychologically. You totally get each other. And rest assured, now that you know what the dream means, odds are you won’t get it again.

Visit Lauri’s brand new site, WhatYourDreamMeans.com, for even more dream interpretations! If you want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning, then check out her latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, which will give you the tools you need to become a dream expert, too. Check out all of Lauri’s books here.