Dream Interpretation: My Ex Seduces Me Then Beats Me Up

photo by kevin dooley

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My boyfriend of seven years and I broke up over the summer. I initiated it, but it was a someone-has-to-pull-the-trigger type situation. I was the one to do it, and even though he’d threatened to break up with me in May (and several times before that) , he was apparently heartbroken. I actively pushed my feelings out of my head and began dating someone else. I still love him and miss him every day.

Last week I had a dream (more like a nightmare) that I was at his new apartment. He and I were talking and drinking, and after a while he took my hand and led me to his bedroom. We began making out and he took off all of my clothes. He laid on top of me. I felt insanely happy to be in his arms again. Suddenly, he began punching me in the stomach, then kneeing me in the side. He punched me in the face several times and broke my nose. I was too stunned and injured to cry out. He hopped out of bed and ran outside. I heard him start his car and peel out of the driveway and down the road. I knew I needed help, so I wrapped myself in his blanket and crawled to his roommate’s room, where I asked him to drive me home to see my mother. He helped me to his car and we drove away.

My ex-boyfriend was never, never violent towards me, nor was he violent in general. He’s an easygoing guy who would, for lack of a better way of describing it, never hurt a fly. So what does this mean? It’s been bugging me for a week, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Lauri: The more shocking a dream, the more serious the message. This shocking dream of yours is trying to help you see that you did the right thing. Notice how, in the dream, he’s the one controlling the situation. You are in HIS domain, which means in waking life the relationship was pretty much on his terms… at least towards the end.  HE takes your hand and leads you to the bedroom, which means in waking life he was the leader for the most part.  HE takes off all your clothes, which means in waking life he disarmed you and caused you to feel vulnerable by always threatening to break up with you. HE laid on top of you, which means in waking life he was above you in the relationship (as far as he was concerned).

And THEN he starts punching you! That is symbolic of the shots he was constantly taking at you with his threats of breaking up. He starts with your stomach because in real life you stomached his threats for quite some time.  He knees you in the side because towards the end, your relationship must have been one sided. Did he not seem to see your side of things? Then he punches you in the face because this waking life behavior made you “face” the reality of what needed to be done… a BREAK up, which is why the last thing that happened was your NOSE being broken. Your inner self “nose” a break needed to happen.

You wrap yourself in his blanket and ask to go to your mother because in waking life you are now trying to comfort and nurture yourself. The dream ends at the point where you are driving away from his place. The point at which a dream ends is often the point, the message, your inner dreaming mind wants to leave you with: move on from him.  While he never did nor probably never would physically harm you or anybody, it seems that he certainly did take many emotional shots at you.  Your dream is showing you that emotional punches are not unlike physical punches. They hurt. They are blows to the ego, and they are not a part of a healthy, loving, trusting relationship. Like your dream is telling you, keep moving forward down your road of life and leave him behind you.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.