Dream Interpretation: My Wife Ate My Frank and Beans

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a male reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream that my wife was a vampire creature and she bites off my penis and testicles. She then puts the pieces of my penis and testicles into a cup of blood and proceeds to eat my penis. What does this mean?!

Lauri: Oh my good, golly gosh!! That’s one heckuva dream you’ve got there young man. So let’s get right to it because it’s clearly got you scratching your head… and possibly investing in a titanium jock strap.

The thing about dreams, especially the disturbing ones, is that they can be a brutally honest representation of what’s really going on in your life. That being said, this dream seems to be showing you the dynamics of your relationship with your wife. She is a vampire in the dream because she must be draining you in some way. Is there some issue she won’t let up on? Is she asking you to do a million things and you can’t keep up? Is she spending too much and draining the bank account? In what way is she wearing you down right now?

She also bites off your entire genital area. Your male genitalia -– to your dreaming mind -– is really all about your male, assertive energy. Notice how we refer to male assertive energy in our everyday language, “C’mon! Grow a pair!” “Man up and handle your business.” “Wow, that was really ballsy of you,” and so on. In what way has your wife been emasculating you? The biting aspect of this dream suggests that she has had some biting remarks for you. What does she say to you that makes you feel like less of a man?

The way she then proceeds to eat your penis indicates that this behavior, or this situation, is really “eating away” at you. Hopefully this is just in connection with a recent issue and is not her ongoing behavior. Whatever the case, it may be time to let her know how her behavior is making you feel and that it’s no fun to be married to Lorena Bobbitt… metaphorically, of course.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.