photo courtesy of ABC/Rick Rowell Date location don’ts: cold and dirty city harbors (that you intend to swim in), sport stadium hot dog kitchens (that you intend to make out in), and bungee-jumping bridges next to busy 8-lane freeways. If you put just the tip in, it doesn’t count. We’re of course talking about putting just […]
photo courtesy of ABC/Todd Wawrychuk Sensual massage and talk of the dearly departed do not mix. If someone on a date is pressuring you to do something that you don’t feel comfortable with, that goes against your values, and that you simply don’t want to do, then stand up for yourself and don’t do it! […]
photo courtesy of ABC/Rick Rowell Now that Juan-uary has begun, each week we’ll be bringing you the five most important love lessons you can learn from each episode of The Bachelor on ABC. With each episode guaranteed to be the most dramatic EVER (per usual), this season should prove to be a wildly educational ride. And […]
photo via flickr Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri: My husband, two nights in a row, has dreamed of oral […]
In honor of the last episode ever of Breaking Bad (sniffle), we’ve reconnoitered our classic “How to Get Over a Breakup” article so Breaking Bad fans the world over can better deal with the loss of their loved one and try to fill the void left behind by the series ending. Come here, Baby Blue, […]
There’s been a LOT of talk this week over Miley Cyrus’s performance at last week’s VMAs. Here’s some of our favorite analysis: The 2013 VMAs Were Dominated by Miley’s Minstrel Show How Ratchet Culture Became The New Implied Bisexuality A 6-Minute Guide to the Prejudices of the Entertainment Industry What Miley Cyrus Did Was Disgusting […]
photo via MTV.com THE WORST 1. Lady Gaga’s 26 costume changes into smaller and smaller outfits, ending in a Little Mermaid-inspired seashell/thong number. She’s just fucking with us at this point, right? 2. Miley Cyrus’s self-demotion to porny arm candy during her Blurred Lines “duet” with Robin Thicke (or was it the simulated rimming during […]
Rebound sex, or even a rebound relationship is understandable after a bad breakup. But a rebound engagement? Probably not a good idea (especially if you can’t stop crying throughout the entire process). Having equally weird families (overly aggro brothers, overly handsy dads, etc) can really bond a couple, because each can understand and empathize with […]
Ouch. We find Des to be a bit of a matzah bachelorette (flat and bland), but even we felt really, really bad for her last night. Getting dumped is hard, but it’s at least twenty-five times harder when it’s televised nationally. And what are the odds: you’ve got 25 potential suitors and you fall for […]
It’s hard to come up with five decent love lessons each week when the show isn’t that exciting this season. The bloopers reel wasn’t even that good! (And such small portions, too!) A sure a signifier of just how ho-hum this cast was. So don’t expect much enlightenment from “The Men Tell All.” Fingers crossed […]
photo via ABC.com Dating don’ts: Showing up shirtless. Showing up in an animal mascot suit. Showing up in earnest. Don’t ever, EVER, let your Dad touch your date more than you’ve touched your date. Similarly: If you ever want to have sex again, do NOT, under any circumstances, get a nasal adjustment on national television. […]
photo via ABC.com If someone asks you (Catherine) about the love of your life (Sean) and you respond “We’re best friends”…? Hello, red flag?! When you (Michael) are trying to make someone (Des) fall in love with you, don’t talk about all the negatives in your life: exes, health problems, daddy issues, freakin’ tombstones, etc. […]
photo via ABC.com There are no imperfect places to fall in love in the entire resort world. None. Yes, yes, do take your date by the hand in the middle of some boring event, run out into a nearby secluded corridor, press them up against the wall and kiss them passionately, please, yes, do that. […]
photo via ABC.com If you (Bryden) are going to dump someone (Des), do NOT take great pains to do it publicly at an inconvenient time for the dumpee. Flying across an ocean to tell someone who you’re not even really dating that you don’t like them is a little “look at me! look at me!” […]
1. Never steal a kiss. “I have a secret to tell you”? It’s like a sucker punch: cheap and ignoble. If you have to fake someone out to get them to kiss you, then you shouldn’t be kissing them in the first place. 2. The pain killers you get at the E.R. are just as […]
Take a tip from a 12 Step Program: no trauma bonding! Admitting to your absentee father / drug-addict mother / type 1 diabetes / poverty status / lactose intolerance is not first-date A material. That said, if you’re forced to wear an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny flesh-colored bikini bottom and shake your junk in front of the […]
