The 12 Moves of Christmas

Deck your halls! Jingle your bells! Spin your dreidel! Stuff your stocking! The holiday-themed euphemisms can go on for days – 12 days to be exact. Far from letting the holidays stress us out, let this festive time of year color every part of our lives, even the bedroom, where you and a chosen partner can put yourselves on each other’s naughty list with the 12 Moves of Christmas.

Please note: the following assumes you have an genital-area orifice you like penetrated and your partner has a penis or dildo they would enjoy using on you. 

1. Santa’s Lap

With your partner sitting on the edge of the bed, sit sidelong on their lap and put your arms around their neck. As they enter you from underneath, use your most breathy whisper to tell them what you really want to find under the tree on December 25th.

2. Reindeer Games

In the doggy style position, go around the world in a single night without even leaving your bedroom. While you’re in the reindeer position, your partner is behind you, guiding the action with a small sensual whip applied to the fleshy part of your butt cheek or hip. Optional item: reindeer-antler headband.

3. Roasted Chestnuts

Take your partner’s candy cane in your mouth and start giving a ho-ho-blowjob, but don’t leave the chestnuts all alone by the open fire – give them some attention! Use a small, handheld vibrator to apply some additional sensations to their testicles (or perineum) and find out what’s really in Santa’s sack (hint: it’s not toys)!

4. Santa’s Little Helper

Lying on your back with your knees in the air, your partner lies on their side so you’re both at a 90 degree angle, with their hips cupping your bottom. Your partner can enter you from their sideways-lying position for some relaxed and comfortable thrusting while you can stimulate yourself with your hand, your partner’s hand, or an external clitoral vibrator.

5. Frankincense and Purr

If you’ve ever Googled what the heck it actually is that two of the Three Wise Men showed up with at the manger, Frankincense is an essential oil and myrrh is a fragrant gum resin taken from trees. For the purpose of getting a sensual massage (and for this article), we’ll choose oil over tree sap any day! When the nights get colder, heat things up with a romantic rubdown and the warm glow of a massage oil candle that will cast a flickering light on the lovemaking that follows the massage session.

6. Up the Chimney

One partner lies flat on their back, knees slightly in the air while a hands-free anal massager stimulates the anus and rectum (lucky them if they have a prostate!). Meanwhile, the other partner straddles the recipient in the reverse “cowgirl” position, providing the partner on the bottom with a naughty rear view while they try to hold back an explosive climax.

7. The Mistletoe Maneuver

While your smooching under that yuletide twig gets steamier, reveal to your partner that you aren’t wearing any underwear, or better yet, guide their hand below your waistline so they can feel for themselves how turned on you are. That’s not a sex position per se, but chances are you’ll both settle for a nearby piece of furniture rather than make it to the bedroom. Whatever position you end up in – that’s the one we’re talking about here, obviously.

8. Five Golden Rings

Okay, maybe not 5 but this one’s just as good. Take a high-powered vibrating love ring and put it around your partner’s member, but place the vibrating portion over the underside of the penis. If you’re sitting in the reverse riding position or enjoying doggy style, those vibrations are being supplied directly to your clitoris or perineum. It’ll be enough to get you caroling at the top of your lungs!

9. Elf on the Shelf

Sit on a perch (a kitchen counter works well for this) and have your partner bow down before you. You enjoy some fantastic oral from your partner while running your fingers through their hair (or Santa hat, as the case may be).

10. Wrapped Up Together

Bring a set of silk pleasure ties or chain link handcuffs to the bedroom. Tie your partner’s hands down to the bedposts while you tease them to the point that all they want to do is break free and unwrap you from whatever skimpy number you’re wearing.

11. Under the Tree

For this one, one partner lies flat on their back while the other straddles their face. This one’s best if the straddling partner can hold onto the headboard to avoid resting their weight on the laying partner’s face. While in this position, the one on top can better control movement and pressure bring themselves to that big-O tannenbaum! (Just check in with your partner regularly to make sure you’re not smothering them.)

12. Silent Night

Okay, so we’ve saved the best one for last – the Partridge in the Pear Tree, if you will. This move doesn’t even require a partner! All you need is a tub full of hot, bubbly water, maybe a glass of wine, but definitely a waterproof, high-powered wand massager. After all the gifts are wrapped, stockings stuffed and sugar plums envisioned, it’s just the type of deep-tissue massage that’s worth looking forward to, even during the most magical time of year!