Top 5 Love Lessons from The Bachelorette (Kaitlyn Takes NY)


  1. JJ thought he’d score points with Kaitlyn and the community, oddly, by embracing “bros before hoes” and, we guess, “bros before foes” ideology when he told Clint to apologize, not to her, but to the other guys in the house for being a Bachelorette-bogarting douche. However, all he did was earn the derision of his castmates — and Bachelor Nation — by throwing his supposed best friend under the bus.  Lesson 1A: Let your friends dig their own graves; don’t pick up a shovel to help.
    Lesson 1B: Don’t call people “hoes,” JJ.
  2. Out of the mouths of crazies, often comes deep, deep wisdom. Zany Ashley S. from her and Kaitlyn’s Bachelor season with Prince Farming popped up at the salon to prepare Kaitlyn’s side-do for her fancy-schmancy Metropolitan Museum of Art date with Jared. When asked about the importance of sexual chemistry in a potential life partner (e.g. Nick), Ashley had these choice words: “But that’s lust…In relationships, like, you’re always going to have times when your lives are not in sync exactly, and it’s really important to have another connection, like a friendship.” Even if the producers spoon fed her that line, we’re down.
  3. CHBTv6dVAAAp9-M

  4. When trying to say something deep and meaningful about love, remove your silly hat first.
  5. While we appreciate Kaitlyn’s willingness to go with her gut, and Nick’s weirdly romantic gesture of volunteering to be Clint’s replacement as show villain, there is something uncool about saying, “I’m into you, but not enough to stop seeing new people” — even if you happen to be saying that to a whopping fourteen guys. Best not to date like you’re sampling a poo poo platter. Commit to one dish, see how it tastes, if it disagrees with you, order something different the next time. (A grosser analogy than we intended.) In other words, if you’re really looking for a lasting commitment, stop thinking with your clit.
  6. No more rhyming date poems now, we mean it! (Anybody want a peanut?)

Read up on last week’s sex ed lessons from “The Bachelorette.”