When Sex and Merch Don’t Mix

The only thing worse than sex being used to sell products that have nothing to do with sex is when sex is actually put into a product in some way when it shouldn’t be. Below are four sex product fails — don’t even think about them as potential holiday gifts, not even stocking stuffers. You’ve been warned:

  • Bacon Lube — J&D’s wants the world to taste like bacon, so they made bacon salt, and baconnaise, bacon ranch, even bacon lip balm. So we guess it was only a matter of time before they made bacon lube. They say it started out as an April Fool’s prank but then got so many requests that they had to follow through with bacon-flavored personal lubricant and massage oil. Fortunately it’s only available for a limited time.
  • Erotic Energy Drinks — As if Red Bull weren’t bad enough:  Big Cock cola and Little Pussy passion fruit drink are now available in Las Vegas. Of course they are.
  • Horror Dildos — We try not to judge other people’s fantasies. And we know “The Walking Dead” is a really, rilly popular show for some reason (character like-ability can’t be one of them). But we draw the line at zombie dildos. Haven’t seen something this inappropriate sinceDivine Interventions, a.k.a. the Jesus dildos.

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