the seahorse is the only male animal that gets knocked up
Dear Em & Lo,
The way I see it, there is simply no such concept as male reproductive rights. If your girl gets pregnant and wants to keep the baby, congratulations, you’re a dad! Pay up, sucker. If you want to keep it but she wants to abort it, tough luck — there goes your progeny. The only thing a dude can do is rubber up and screen for sexual partners with similar values.
We get it, the baby’s growing in the woman’s body, and ownership is 9/10ths of the law. But come on, now. There’s got to be some kind of reasonable compromise. I don’t have an easy answer to this, and I doubt anyone else will either. Men will continue to get a raw deal here. But could you open the topic to discussion?
— Cat Amongst the Pigeons
Consider it done! What do you think, do we need male reproductive rights? And if so, what would they be? Let the debate begin (no throwing things, please) in the comments section below.
Sorry Black Iris but “The only way men can protect themselves is to wear a condom every time they have sex until they’re married,” is unfortunately a very inaccurate statement. As more than one person can testify to, condoms are NOT 100% protection against anything. Also, men, just like women, should have rights after getting married, too. A wife can just as easily lie about being on birth control and a one-night stand, except that (one would hope) the wife would be more apt to be trusted by her partner. Men simply shouldn’t have to pay the price (quite literally with child support) for a choice made by someone else.
In short let’s be fair, if a man can’t force a woman to carry a baby she doesn’t want, then a woman shouldn’t be able to force a man to pay for a baby he doesn’t want.
On a more practical note – if given the choice, how many guys would opt for, I will be a father to this unplanned pregnancy? A few, but I would think most would just say no.
The only way men can protect themselves is to wear a condom every time they have sex until they’re married.
For centuries, women have had to cope with the baby if they got pregnant. In fact, the woman will still probably end up doing most of the work raising the child. Unless she has a baby with a wealthy man, she probably isn’t going to get enough child support to actually support the child.
Ultimately, though, I don’t think men should have a right to say no to supporting the baby because that would put pressure on the mother to have an abortion.
I would make two exceptions:
1) If the woman snuck into the man’s room one night and stole his semen while he slept; and
2) If the woman had an affair with a man she knew was married, particularly if he already has kids. His money is not actually just his. Whether or not the mistress’ baby gets money should be up to the wife.
Hi i think that alot of situations are where a woman gets pregnant because of lies she has told a man and then expects a man to support and want her child i think men should get together and fight for thier rights…i am a woman but that is just how i feel…i think that men should not have to take care of or support a child if he didnt want it especially if he was set up and im tired of ppl saying that u cant set a man up…yes you can for one example women telling men they are on birth control now if the man just met the girl and trust her yeah he is stupid but still should have rights…but i know a man that was with a women for almost a year and he even bought her birth control for her and she lied and just didnt use it and got pregnant and ran off and now has him paying support and no he doesnt want the child because he was set up…and i feel that is just fine for him to feel that way and i think that he shouldnt have to suffer because of her and i have been looking things up to find help for him because he is a good friend and needs some help…i know even if i get somthin started to help men get rights it probably wont go through anyones head but i feel its worth a try and so does he!!!!anyone wanna help? 🙂
Men do have the right whether or not to become fathers. Condoms and vasectomies work to keep you a non-parent. A surrogate mother and egg donor will work to make you a father.
I personally know of a middle class woman in America with great pre-natal care who died in child birth. She bled to death. Men do not and should not have a say in if a woman carries to term because their health and life is not on the line. Usually a healthy woman has no problems with pregnancy but that is not always the case.
Males have reproductive rights. No one can make you be a father if you don’t want to be.
Quite some years ago, after having had two kids (my personal limit), my wife (who also didn’t really want any more) announced that, should she become pregnant again, she and she alone would make the decision whether or not to have the baby, and I would have no say.
Shortly thereafter, I made an appointment with a urologist to find out about a vasectomy. Told the wife I was having it. She hit the roof. How, how could I make such a decision without involving her? I calmly announced that it was my body, and she had absolutely no say whatsoever in what I chose to do with it. If she was going to make decisions about pregnancy without me, then I for sure wasn’t taking chances on getting her pregnant any more!
I had it done. She calmed down. One of the best things I (we) ever did.
I have given a great deal of consideration to this topic. Primarily because I have fallen on the opposite side of the topic then the original argument suggests.
I was the receipient of news, after the fact, that my significant other had aborted our child. No consultation, no in depth conversation, just a “can you come get me from the hospital” phone call.
I have always had a belief that abortions were, at best, on the iffy side of morality. But I am Pro-Choice when it comes to the legal side of the issue.
I believe that in order to settle the debate you would have to create equal laws. Either a man has the choice and is responsible fiscally, or he has no choice and cannot be held fiscally responsible. To only allow the choice to be the woman’s and to hold the male resposible for her choices hardly seems to be an equitable solution.
You can’t ask a woman to be an incubator. Its wrong.Pregnancy completely changes your body. Its just not that simple.
i have a girlfriend and we frequently fuck each others brains out, and she got pregnant by me. she and i agreed that i would have 100% equal say and rights when it comes to the baby she is carrying and its future.
Not to mention, M, the inherit risks involving childbirth. Whether or not you recognize it, some (a very very small eprcentage but still) people do die during the process, and anything other than a routine, natural birth brings on thousands of dollars in medical bills on top of the thousands of dollars in medical bills the mother has already incurred. I’ve said it before, punishing children for the rest of their lives for one bad decision their parent made is unimaginably horrible. Of course, it’s not unimaginable, given that you and so many others have advocated it. I always thought punishing the sun for the sins of the father ended when we stepped away from aristocracy…..
And another question M, if you wanted to get an abortion and the father wanted to keep it, would you really be willing to carry it to term and then hand it over after delivery? And who would pay for all those medical bills, anyway? Last I checked, welfare folks aside, childbirth and prenatal care aren’t free.
OK, M (and this is a common situation) what if NEITHER parents want to pay for the child, and one of the doesn’t “believe” in terminating pregnancy?
Okay, I don’t have kids, but I think if the father wants the child to live and the mother doesn’t, then she can have the baby and the dad can take care of it for the rest of its life. If the mom wants it alive, and the dad doesn’t, the mom should get it and raise it. In both of these circumstances there shouldn’t have to be any paying of money to the parent that raises it.
As for abortion, both parents should want this for it to happen. If one parent doesn’t want abortion, it can take care of it. Honestly, if a guy I was with knocked me up and wanted me to get rid of it when I didn’t, I really wouldn’t want to continue the relationship, and I would pray to god it looks like me.
I hate arguing about “abortion” because people are so set in their ideas that it is nearly impossible to talk about this issue without people becoming irate.
I have one thing to say. The biggest risk a woman takes, during an unwanted pregnancy is losing her livelihood, her freedom, and her ability to obtain a partner and even her LIFE.
The biggest risk a man takes when an unwanted pregnancy continues is opening his checkbook and spending some money on his offspring.
The RISKS are not the same. Not even close.
The reason I’m hung up on what the law is, is that this forum is about what the law should be for men in this scenario. I’m not talking about repealing Roe vs. Wade because this discussion is about what rights men deserve as fathers. I feel they should have the same rights as women do, which they currently do not. Marriage does not give a man the right to control his spouse or when and where she will bring progeny into the world. Nor does open communication with his partner guarantee him equal rights in this occasion. Eventually, the primary decision about what he will have to do with HIS life boils down to whatever SHE decides. If I am correct, this is the main point behind the women’s rights movements of the last century, just inverted.