The future of sex is silicone, and the future of sex is now. (And, no, this has nothing to do with fake ta-tas.) Yesterday we covered silicone toys, today it’s silicone lube. It feels and works just like oil — i.e., it’s waterproof (bring on the shower nozzle!), a little goes a long way, and it’s longer lasting than water-based lubes because it doesn’t absorb into the body. But, unlike oil, it’s safe to use on latex condoms and dams (bring on the hardcore bum lovin’!). It’s the only inert lube out there, meaning it won’t react at all with your own body’s chemistry—though if a silicone lube contains additives, as Pink does (see below), it’s no longer considered inert. You can even shave with it (to help keep the razor sharper longer).
There’s one very important rule about silicone lubes, however: Do not use silicone lubes on toys made from silicone or Cyberskin et al. Because the only thing silicone bonds to is silicone, a weird chemical reaction occurs between silicone or Cyberskin toys and silicone lubes, causing the surface of the toys to get gummy (not really something you want going on inside you). However, there is an exception to this rule. As silicone queen and Tantus president Metis Black told us, it all depends on the grade of silicone involved: If the toy is made from medical-grade platinum silicone (like all Tantus dildos) and the lube’s ingredients contain dimethicone (first), dimethiconal, and cyclomenthicone (and no unnecessary additives like aloe or vitamin E), it should be perfectly safe. But since it’s hard to know exactly what’s in a toy, you should always do a small patch test on the base of your toy first: If the lube stays slippery, you can keep on sliding.
Even if you prefer to slap a latex condom on the toy just to be safe, you’re still going to need to wash the silicone lube off you with soap and water, because it doesn’t wash away as easily as water-based lube. (That’s why it works in the hot tub, remember?)
“But what about the horror health stories of silicone seepage from burst breast implants?” you ask. Have no fear; silicone lubes are safe: They don’t get absorbed by the epidermis of your body, which includes the lining of your body cavities.
Here are a few of our favorite silicone-based lubes (sensitive vaginas should avoid the products that contain glycerin). They’re available all over, and most are about ten dollars for a 2 ounce bottle. Silicone lubes tend to be more expensive than the water-based kind, but you need less, so it evens out:
- Eros Pjur: vegan; no animal testing or by-products used; glycerin-free; hypo-allergenic; non-toxic.
- Swiss Navy: One-handed pump for easy application.
- System Jo: Non-allergenic and odor/fragrance free.
- Pink: This “girly” lube comes in an elegant, hand-blown Italian glass jar, meaning it could easily pass for a chic bottle of perfume. Glycerin free, though its additives (vitamin E and aloe vera) make it impossible to use with high-quality pure silicone dildos, so don’t bother with the patch test.
- Gun Oil: Apparently developed by a marine who knew many fellow soldiers who masturbated with actual gun oil. This “manly” silicone lube is unscented and flavor-free, with Aloe Vera and Vitamin E.