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Your Call: Do I HAVE to Go to My Partner’s Family Thanksgiving?

November 24, 2014

2 Comments

photo via Flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Hi,

My boyfriend of eight months invited me to his family Thanksgiving, which is sweet, but I’ve met them and I’d really rather not go through the pain of it (they’re religious, Republican, old fashioned). I don’t have any alternative plans (my family is too far away for me to make the trip, plus they’re their own kind of crazy) though I could probably crash in on some friends. Although being alone wouldn’t be as bad, I think, as spending forced “quality time” with his family (in separate rooms! we’re in our late 20s/early 30s). We’re good, but I’m not sure he’s “the one” and that we’ll be spending the rest of our Thanksgivings together. I know he’ll be hurt if I bail, but I really, really don’t want to go. One crazy family is enough! Am I in my rights to decline?

Thank you!

Pardon This Turkey

What advice do you have for P.T.T.? Leave your suggestions in the comments section below.

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Your Call: How Can I Compensate for a Skinny Penis?

November 17, 2014

3 Comments

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Hi,

My penis girth falls below the average range, as it measures 4 – 4.5 inches around. My length is average at 5.5 inches. I was wondering if you have any sex tips to make the most out of it when in bed?

As we know a bigger girth creates more chance of orgasm for women. Do you have any suggestions on how I can cause more friction when inside, so I can be felt?

I know for a lot of women this could be a deal breaker, and I’ll most likely always be broken up with, but instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am trying to learn how to accept it and get on with life.

Thank you!

Skinny Malinky

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Your Call: Is Revenge a Dish Best Served Cold or Not at All?

November 10, 2014

4 Comments


photo via Flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

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Hi Em & Lo,

Love your article “10 Things That Feel Better Than Getting Revenge on an Ex.” Although I completely agree with your points, I just found out my ex was cheating on me. The other girl he was seeing found me on Facebook and we’ve been talking. On one hand, I don’t want to give this jerk any more of my time or energy. But on the other, this other girl is insisting on revenge (making gay dating profiles, egging his car, hooking up with his friends… high school stuff). I know we’re better than this, but this is the third time I’ve been cheated on. He looked me the eyes and told me he would treat me right. That I could trust him… So I can’t help but want revenge this time. I’m sick of being the bigger person, even though I know it’s the right thing to do. I just can’t seem to walk away from this and move on.

He doesn’t know we know about each other and I think he at least deserves to know he didn’t get away with this. But what do you suggest, Em & Lo? And if it’s to be the bigger person… how did you guys find the willpower?

Thank you for hearing me out :) ,

– A Woman Scorned

What should A.W.S. do? Leave your advice in the comments below…

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Your Call: How Do I Tell Him I Don’t Like His Weight Gain?

November 3, 2014

4 Comments


photo via IMDB

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader.  

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Dear Em & Lo,

My husband and I have been together ten years, and over the last few years he has gradually put on about twenty pounds. He jokes about it, but he doesn’t seem to be bothered by the weight gain — he just seems to think it’s normal for a guy his age (44) to get thick around the middle. And it’s true, most of his friends have spread in the same way. But I miss the guy I fell in love with! I’m still in love with him, but I’m not quite as attracted to him as I once was, and I worry what this will do to my sex drive as the years go on.

Can I say anything to him? And if so, what do I say and how do I say it?!

– C(hubby) Chaser

What should C.C. do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.

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Your Call: Can He Skip the Couples Costume This Halloween?

October 27, 2014

4 Comments

photo via Flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader.  

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Dear Em & Lo,

My girlfriend wants to do a couple’s costume for Halloween this year. I don’t. I think it’s cheesy and annoying. But I know how happy it would make her. Still, I really don’t want to. Can I stand my ground or am I just being a jerk, especially if I’m going to dress up anyway?

A Reluctant Clyde to Her Bonnie

 

What should ARCTHB do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.

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Your Call: Should She Stay or Should She Go?

October 16, 2014

5 Comments

photo via Flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. We seem to be getting a lot of bad boyfriend letters lately — maybe these women just need to hear your Greek Chorus in order to do what needs to be done. Say it in unison in the comments section below. 

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Readers,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. Our relationship has been quite rocky from the start and he treated me really badly in the beginning.
Our relationship initially started as a long distance one and I had to move countries and give up my studies to be with him. Before moving I asked him about his past and very specifically asked him all the things that I considered a deal breaker – being gay was one of them, so I asked him if he had ever been into guys and he told me he was absolutely straight (which later turned out to be a lie).

Because of the difficulties of integrating our lives together after me moving to be with him, we fought a lot and he was incredibly mean and verbally abusive (at times he pushed me around too. At that point I hated him and wanted to get away from him. He would pester me for sex, but I refused because of the way he treated me. I still don’t want to be intimate with him because I have son underlying anger towards him.

A year ago we moved to London and our relationship improved a bit after me establishing firm boundaries – I still struggle with intimacy though (I also struggle with this because I have been raped in the past). One evening my boyfriend came home drunk and blurted out that he is bisexual and wants to have sex with other men. I had a sneaky suspicion that he had a crush on a guy at work and was trying to get me to have a threesome with another guy, which I obviously found as a shock.

The next day we chatted about this and as it turns out he had a year long relationship with another guy (before we got together). I asked him how he managed to have sex with another man and he said that it was very pleasurable and that he was attracted to both men and women, but wanted to be in a relationship with a woman. I felt really betrayed that he lied to me. I uprooted my entire life to move to the opposite side of the world to be with him. I told him everything about my past and gave him the option of leaving if he didn’t feel comfortable with MY past, but yet he couldn’t afford me the same honesty.

I have tried to talk to him about this, but he constantly changes his story and refuses to speak about this. We very nearly broke up.

Then he started talking in his sleep sexually about other men – I heard him say:’I wanna fuck your arse full’ and started nattering about a tall, blonde elegant guy…I was traumatized by this. He was having either a physical or emotional affair with some guy. He denied this flat out saying that I was going mad. I’m really struggling with this and don’t know whether I should hang around.

We love each other and have been through a lot to be together, but I don’t know whether to trust him or not. He has told me that he isn’t gay, but I know I’m running a massive risk by staying with him.

I’m so sad and angry. I have no idea how to deal with this. When I think of him with another man I feel quite disgusted (I’m not homophobic – I just don’t want to deal with this confusion).

He tells me that he loves me, but is this enough?

Ps: This is a wonderful thread and everyone’s input has been thought provoking and intelligent, hence me reaching out to you all. Please help me cope with this. I don’t know what to do and my heart is struggling terribly with this.

Thanks so much,

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

 

What should SISOSIG do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.

 

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Your Call: My Wife Never Initiates Sex

October 6, 2014

4 Comments


photo via Flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Submit Your Own Question to EMandLO.comTry Our New
*PRIVATE*
Advice Service!

 

 

Dear Em & Lo,

I’ve been married for five years, and my wife and I have a great sex life. We have sex probably two or three times a week, and I’m pretty sure we both have a good time — we try new things, we try new positions, the whole deal. The problem is, she NEVER initiates sex. I’ve told her many times that this bothers me and she always promises to make an effort and then never does. She says she’s just used to me making the move, and forgets to do it herself. She always seems happy to have sex when I initiate, so I don’t understand why she never makes the first move herself? And what more can I do to make her realize what a bummer it is never to be asked?

– Wallflower

What should Wallflower do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.


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Your Call: The Relationship Is Great, the Sex Not So Much

September 29, 2014

4 Comments


photo via Flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Submit Your Own Question to EMandLO.comTry Our New
*PRIVATE*
Advice Service!

 

 

Dear Em & Lo,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We have a very healthy relationship and I love him to bits. I have a problem with our sex life. For the first year or so he didn’t make me orgasm at all. But I’m pretty laid back, and in that new relationship bliss I was happy just having sex with him. When I finally got sick of never climaxing, we had a really awkward conversation about it and some things changed, i.e. he starting using his fingers when going down on me, and I can get off when I’m on top. Still, I probably climax maybe 1 out of 5 times when we have sex and it bothers me. I find it hard to get turned on because I know there probably isn’t a happy ending for me.

To complicate things, my relationship with my ex (and only other boyfriend) was lacking in all other respects but was super sexually satisfying. We could spend, quite literally, an entire Sunday having sex and I had orgasms all the time. My current boyfriend is better looking, better endowed, and all around much more amazing, but I am so much less excited about having sex with him. The only thing I can think of is that it doesn’t matter to him whether I have an orgasm or not. It feels like he isn’t trying. By contrast, my ex really enjoyed getting me off.

I feel like talking about it has not gotten me where I want to go, and I’m afraid if I keep bringing it up he will get discouraged and give up altogether. I really miss having great sex. I don’t know how to fix this.

– Blue Box

What should BB do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.


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Your Call: My Husband Won’t Give Me Oral

September 22, 2014

5 Comments

photo via flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Submit Your Own Question to EMandLO.comTry Our New
*PRIVATE*
Advice Service!

 

Dear Em & Lo,

Okay, So me and my husband have been together almost 3 years married for 2 and he’s only given me oral 3 times! I am very clean down there and I won’t have sex without first taking a shower. Apparently he’s had bad past experiences with ex girlfriends having a smell down there, but I wasn’t aware he hated it so much since he did it while we were dating. It really hurts my feelings that he won’t do it, I am his wife he’s seen me give birth and he’s very open to everything else sexually but not this. I’ve tried to deal with it, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life never getting oral I love oral! I’ve tried bringing it up to him and he treats it like a joke… I give him oral all the time and I love doing it but since he won’t return the favor I’ve started to do it less often and resent it. I am really at a loss and don’t want my marriage to be broken up over this.

– Downtown Girl

What should Downtown Girl do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.


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Your Call: Is It Fine for a Grown, Non-Religious Man to Be Celibate?

September 15, 2014

5 Comments


photo via Flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Submit Your Own Question to EMandLO.comTry Our New
*PRIVATE*
Advice Service!

 

 

Dear Em & Lo,

Is this weird?: Intelligent, sarcastic, and attractive early 40′s male who will find any manner to exit a situation that may lead to intimacy. He’s been celibate for a year or so (work is his love) and basically thinks sex is unnecessary and far too overrated anyway. Although he’s very interested in getting attention (he is a pretty darn fascinating guy actually) and making sure dates enjoy his company, he has just made a point to avoid all the baggage and nonsense and time consumption that comes with sex.  Is this more common than people think?  Or is it abnormal?  And ultimately, does it really matter, as he’s definitely not a player nor a user so nobody gets hurt anyway…? Or is this all wrong?

– What Gives?

What should WG do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.


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