Your Call: What Position Should Little Ol’ Me Use with My Big Boyfriend?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Hello. I’m hoping you can help me with this. My boyfriend and I have been together for a month and we’ve been trying to have sexual intercourse for the first time, but it has been difficult. He is 6’9″ and 350lbs and I’m 5’2″ and 100lbs. I have tried being on top but found his hips are too wide and it is very uncomfortable and he has tried being on top but it is difficult for him to go inside me. I am quite tight. I am not a virgin but he is. I haven’t had this problem before so I hope you can give us some advice. Thank you.

— Lilliputian

What positions have worked for you?
Let Lilli know in the comments below!


  1. I can relate . I, myself am petite at 5’1 110lbs. I have found that the “reverse cowgirl while your guy is sitting in a dining room chair” has been effective because YOU control depth and do not have to spread your hips and legs far apart to get him inside of you. Also, It gives him great viewing pleasure. And, the more intimate position “lying down reverse cowgirl”. He will then be able to hold you in place on top of him and have the ability to slide you up and down. And he can reach your clitoris for added stimulation if desired. Hope this helps! Good luck and happy humping! ?

    1. I like how you mentioned the clitoral stimulation– that is something that can help with natural lubrication and relaxing the vaginal muscles. Yay for no pain during sex! I’ve never had much luck with reverse cowgirl, but maybe making use of a chair would make for an easier ride. Great advice

  2. Are you tense and freaking out before and during? Lube? Fingers? Oral? If you are super tight and he is super large then it may just be you are mismatched sexually. Not your fault nor his, be honest and gentle.

    1. I’d be interested to hear more as to what you mean by “mismatched sexually.” I do agree that using lube and foreplay to your advantage will help you to loosen up, both figuratively and literally. But size is not always the determinant of pain, either. There are women I know who have been in excruciating pain after simply being fingered, often due to nerves or lack of understanding of their body and their partners body. This is why we need better sexual education for young women and even older women who never received it.

      1. Sex can be extremely complicated especially if you are a heady, nervous and insecure type (like me). I am yet to sleep with someone I am 100% comfortable around and am curious as to how big the psychological effect is. A lot of it is boundaries, knowing your own body, relaxation etc. Penetration difficulties or extreme tightness can be due to vaginismus as well – I have sensitive mucous membranes and a ‘small vagina’ according to doctors but its all muscle related no real physical abnormality. Sex is usually a bitter sweet thing, kind of hurts kind of feels great. So for me, at this point anyway, a guy with a massive penis is going to be a problem, not a great match.

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