Question of the Week: Where Do You Stand on the 69?

What’s your opinion on the 69? Is it a win-win in the bedroom, the ultimate in quid-pro-quo? An intense, in-your-face (literally!) intimacy? Or is it distracting/boring/complicated/claustrophobic?

Leave your response in the comments section below (feel free to share your age, gender, relationship status, etc., if it’s relevant to your answer).


  1. I try NOT to do it standing, lol
    Beyond that I’d probably rather separate the cunnilingus from the fellatio, less distraction!

  2. I’m not a fan. I find myself getting too distracted by one part of the experience and not focusing enough on the other. I’d rather just enjoy receiving without needing to worry about sucking him at the same time, or focus on giving him head and enjoying his reaction without being distracted by what he’s doing.

  3. It is over rated. It is almost impossible to relax enough to enjoy your partners ministrations while you are doing your best to pleasure them.

  4. I think 69 is one of the more misunderstood sex acts.

    Old Idea: one of you should be kneeling over the other in sort of a reverse missionary position. Not! That’s how it’s classically shown (it’s even shown that way on the statuary in the photo for this post!)

    New Idea: One of the best ways I’ve found to do it is lying side by side using each other’s knees as pillows to support your heads. This also leaves each of you with at least one and usually both arms and hands free.

    Old Idea: The point of 69 is to try and have simultaneous orgasms, “just like intercourse.”

    New Idea: Simulta… wha? Seriously? What is this, 1965? 1972? Yes, “simultaneous orgasms” are great. But at least back in the 20th Century they were sort of a code for “he holds back as long as he can during intercourse because otherwise how will she come at all?!? Here in the 21st Century we’ve got lots of newer ideas. Like, oh, that when one lover comes first he or she will still take care of the other.

    Old Idea: Even if simultaneous orgasms aren’t the goal, the point of 69 is still at least about mutual orgasms… otherwise why would you bother?

    New Idea: Y’know, our partners probably don’t think our genitals are ugly, stinky, gross, shameful, boring or whatever. In fact, being able enjoy seeing, touching, tasting, and nuzzling you while you drive them to literal, unable-to-reciprocate distraction might make their experience of being eaten (not to mention your experience of eating) even more enjoyable. That plus if it’s a choice between looking at the ceiling while being eaten or looking at a partner I’ll take looking at her every time.

    Summary: I think what makes performing 69 hard for a lot of people is that we think it has to be performed. No. Performance is for juggling with chain saws or attempting triple Lutz jumps in the Olympics. 69 works best when you both just lie back (ok, on your sides) and enjoy it.



  5. I love it. Me & my man ALWAYS do the 69. He just turned 47 & I will be 39 ths yr. We rarely hv quickies, so whenever we make love, 69 is something tht we love doin.

  6. I adore 69 so much! I just adore it when my man puts his fingers in my anus and my lady-parts and then focuses his mouth on my launch button.

    Plus the goo is great for the complexion.

  7. Personally, I adore it. I have somewhat of a fetish when it comes to fellatio, so no bits in mouth = taking longer for me to orgasm.
    That being said, I prefer side by side so you both have control over movement and neither party tires out too quickly. Plus the view isn’t quite as “Oh hi…here’s a view of my ass you probably didn’t ever want.”
    It’s great as a warm up, a way to finish or just a way to get the job (no pun etc) done quickly.

  8. I like 69 very much when its a part of foreplay. Other than that I want to be able to watch her going down on me, and vice versa. In the end, ( no pun intended) I love being able to look at her face up close and kiss deeply during orgasm.

  9. Yeah, I liked it twenty years ago. OMG that sounds so bad. But really, when I was 20 & flexible and we were hot and heavy my biggest 69 complaint would have been if I “O” and he hasn’t yet then seriously how the hell and I supposed to keep going? I would lose all my coordination and I make a little noise when I “O” so that makes keeping my half of the sesh going impossible too. But I loved the challenge. Now I am not so flexible and it’s nearly impossible.

  10. Overrated! I would much rather look into my wife’s eyes when orgasms from what I’m doing. It seems like 69 is simply making foreplay quicker and I would rather it last as long as possible. So, for me it’s 68 where she does me and I owe her one or I do her and she owes me one.

  11. I don’t like it at all! It is hard enough for me to really relax and enjoy receiving oral sex, and I’m quite the connoisseur of giving it, so I don’t need anything else distracting me from my art! It seems like more of a novelty than anything else, and something that just can’t be conducive to female pleasure. Also, with the one person I did it with, I got a distinct whiff of ass with my nose in that position! That might be just one person, but the nose to ass proximity in that position would seem to make this a very distinct possibility. I think the only use for it is it you’re with someone who is really bad at giving head. In that case, maybe the distraction and novelty would be appealing. With my finance, I’d rather just close my eyes and savor every last stroke!

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