Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “If I sleep with a new guy and everything went great — long talk beforehand, great chemistry, lots in common, orgasms all around — when can I reasonably expect a call from him? And will the number of days he waits to call correspond with his level of interest? Also, how soon can I call him to express that I’m interested?”
Straight Single Guy (Max): If you’ve had a great hook up and just can’t wait for the guy to call, the best advice I can give you is to make an offer that he can’t refuse. While a text the next day can be real nice, I will tell you (or perhaps remind you) how skittish we men can be. Rather than attempt a long and meaningful phone conversation, try inviting him to something awesome. A quick note about meeting you at a concert, comic book signing (true story) or maybe a wine tasting is much more intriguing than a call or text that is clearly testing the waters. If things went as well as you think, how can he say no? Then, when back together and in person, you can better evaluate your budding relationship.
Straight Married Guy (Ben): Every now and then as us married folks are sitting on the edges of our seats, living vicariously, grilling you for every salacious detail of your last crazy hook up or random sexual encounter, will you please, please, please finish your story, smile nervously and ask us this question? Or better, throw in things like texting, email, facebook, twitter and remind us just how fucking complicated the internet has made even relatively simple issues like, “How long do I wait for him to call?” This is, after all, why we got married. So we don’t have to deal with all this stupid bullshit. (The answer, in case you were wondering, is two days. If he hasn’t called you, call him and if he doesn’t call you back within a day, move on. Unless he tweets, updates his status, sexts or IMs — then all bets are off.)
Gay Single Guy (Bradford Shellhammer): This question I never get. If a guy likes you he’ll call you immediately. If he waits days, or weeks, then he’s not interested! For every day he does not call that is a day he was pursuing someone else.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com; our Gay Guy is fellow SUN blogger Bradford Shellhammer, the creative director of fabulis and a New York Times featured decorator; and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New England. To ask the guys your own question, click here.