Your Call: Is 19 Too Young to Relocate for Love?

Dear Em & Lo,
I’m 19 years old, and have been dating my boyfriend for eight months. However, we live 3 hours away from each other.  This hasn’t caused any problems yet, we get to see each other most weekends and the relationship is going great.  We fit together perfectly in all aspects of our relationship.  Lately I’ve been thinking of transferring to the university that he attends. It wouldn’t be until next fall, but I feel like this relationship is really going somewhere.  My mom says if it’s meant to be that it will work out without us going to the same school, but I’m not sure I want to take this risk.  She also says eight months or even a year is not a long time, and I don’t agree with her.  I’ve been hearing that I’m too young to know that I’m in love, but I can tell you I have never cared for a man this much.  Should I stick it out and stay three hours away and risk the distance taking its toll on our relationship, or should I take the risk and transfer, knowing there’s always that possibility that things might not work out?
— Don’t Call It Puppy Love



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14 Comments on "Your Call: Is 19 Too Young to Relocate for Love?"

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yea me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months and he lives 12 hours aways so three is no big deal im gunna move down there after doin a year of college at my school and when i get there im still not going to the same college and ill be an hour away but its much closer and ill see him more and i still will have my own seperate college experience, cuz i love this man and he loves me and we’ll do anything for eachother and its been 3 months and i’ve seen him… Read more »

I’m surprised so many people are pushing for a “transfer” option…uproot your entire social and academic life for a 19 year old? I’m sorry but even when a young couple follows each other to school, I’ve rarely seen it work out. If it’s meant to be, it can happen later, too. This isn’t someone you’ll never run into again and won’t know how to reach out and contact.

There are too many variables here to be able to offer good, solid advice. What is your relationship style/history? His? How do you *both* feel about the possibility of a move? If either of you are at all prone to feeling “smothered,” that’s a big red flag right there. Like Doug said, you need to take other things into account, like financial aid, school and program quality, and if you have other friends in the area you’d be able to hang with if things go pear-shaped. That said…Michael was 18 and I was 19 when we met online. He lived… Read more »
** I am a different Elizabeth than the one above. So, my fiance and I started dating when we were 19 and have been together almost 4 years now. We did go to the same school when we started dating (he dropped out at one point) and “lived in each other’s pockets” as someone said above. And yes, we have had our problems related to that, but if it’s real love the distance won’t destroy it, but neither will the closeness. But I really don’t think there is anything all that wrong with you transferring schools. I mean, yes –… Read more »
From what you say it seems like things are going ok right now. You say that you manage to see each other regularly- what’s the problem? 19 isn’t too young to be in love, but it is too young to live in each others’ pockets, when you’ve only been dating 8 months. I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 18 (I’m now 23). We went to different universities (we were 2-3 hours apart), and each had our own lives and our own friends and our own independence, whilst still keeping the relationship going. I did a lot of growing… Read more »
My bf lived in another state and I couldn’t take the distance. I was 18 at the time and my entire family was against it but I knew what I wanted and I did it anyway. We’re still happily together and I don’t regret leaving one bit. LDRs are hard. That’s why I left. My best friend and his girl are going through hell trying to make theirs work out so I feel your pain. You have some time to think things through. If you do it, it may be the best decision of your life. But if you two… Read more »

You are complaining too much, I’d give anything to be able to see my boyfriend every weekend! We’ve been together for almost 2 years, and we live in different sides of the Atlantic.
This means seeing each other only every 6 months, when we have vacation from our universities.
I agree with your mom – if it’s true love, it will last no matter what.
And besides, you’ll leave all your friends behind, while he’ll still have his friends around him, and maybe this makes you feel uncomfortable.