15 Reasons Why Everyone Should Masturbate
Self-love won’t cure swine flu, but that’s pretty much the only shortcoming we can think of:
- Getting a grip on yourself helps teach you the pattern of your own sexual response: What you like, what you don’t like, and what you hate more than anything else in the whole wide world.
- Friggin’ your riggin’ helps you gain control over when and how soon you climax: Once you can recognize the point right before the point of no return, you can put on the brakes and avoid premature crashes.
- Polishing your china helps you sleep — right before a nap, or as part of your bedtime ritual.
- Playing with yourself is a great procrastination device/study break/boredom reliever. Way better than smoking or television.
- DIY sex puts a smile on your face by releasing endorphins. So self-administer a mercy fuck after (or better yet, during) a bad day at work.
- Jacking off can help kick-start a tired and listless sex drive.
- Southern comfort puts you first for a change (assuming you’re not usually a selfish bastard). Do something nice for yourself: Walk your hand home.
- Beating off evens the playing field when you want it more than your partner does. With the wave of a hand, presto: No more frustration!
- Doing the handstroke is a self-fulfilling prophecy; the more you do it (and the earlier you start doing it), the more likely you are to do it into your old age. That image might gross you out now, but wait till you’re seventy.
- Doing the hand jive is cheap and you’re easy, unlike most of your dates.
- Not jerking off at all, according to sexologists, is more likely to lead to psychological problems than jerking off incessantly. This is an about-face from the widespread Victorian belief that shaking the bacon would drive you nuts. So stop the insanity!
- Hand-to-gland combat gives you fresh breath. As long as you brush your teeth when you’re done.
- Testing the plumbing before a date helps keep your head in the game.
- Widespread wanking creates a more sensual world, adds to the supply of international karma, and thus brings us closer to world peace.
- Masturbation is the shortest distance between you and an orgasm. Need we say more?
And one extra one, just for the ladies — because, let’s face it, they’re the ones who need the most encouragement to masturbate more often:
16. Orgasms can help relieve menstrual cramps and PMS, and fight yeast infections by increasing blood flow to the pelvic area. That alone is a pretty good reason to learn how to flick the bean, and flick it well.
in the opening art… what’s furidous mean?
Rosy Palm and her five sisters do exactly what I tell them to. My girlfriend ( sitting right here during my typing) agrees it keeps me faithful!!!
4. The thing is, guys have the “goo” issue to deal with, and it can be kind of a logistical problem, and embarrassing at the same time.
I’d really like the girl perspective on this.
http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/stickers.html
if you don’t laugh at the masturbation lines on that site.. then you don’t have my silly sense of humor. 🙂
“4. Playing with yourself is a great procrastination device/study break/boredom reliever. Way better than smoking or television.”
As someone who still has yet to finish two research papers due this week, I couldn’t agree more.
I find it to be a good stress relief. It clears my head and lets me get back to work and be more productive.
1. Generally works
2. Yup, completely understand that and use it myself sometimes. Masturbation can do great things for me to find my “center.”
3. Nope – unless it’s flick’s qualifying scenario, then I’d worry
4.Women talk more about everything. Men just joke around and some men I know hang onto those Victorian ideals…they are reinforced by many religions. But, I’m a girl…so not 100% sure I’m right.
1 it can, I suppose. though I haven’t really had problems with that
2 sure. it can be a lot of things. that included
3 no. the thing above-cheating is a two way street, masturbation isn’t.
4 every guy I’ve been with thinks it’s hot when I can please myself.
Annmarie –
1. Uh… I don’t know? I don’t really tend to think about specific people when I masturbate, so probably not – but then again, I’ve never slept with someone that I wanted to avoid sleeping with.
2. I don’t know exactly what you mean by that, honestly.
3. I don’t think it qualifies as cheating… but I don’t think about specific people when I masturbate… and I don’t ask my guy what he is thinking about when he does, unless it’s like a mutual masturbation thing. I don’t know how I would feel if I knew he thought about others, so I don’t think about it. Cheating is not just a one way thing – whereas fantasy is… So as long as it stays in his head, I think it’s okay.
4. I’m not a man. But I would think that men are just freaked out by the idea that a woman can get off without him.
Annmarie
1) not necessarily?? never really had that happen for me.
2) I totally think it is. it’s like natures happy/sleep enducing pill!
3) i would consider that a kind of emotional cheating, but only if it was someone that you know personally already.
like george clooney? not at all, someone you’ve never met before. It’s not cheating IMHO
if it’s that guy you met in college and always had a baby crush on? Then it’s going over the line.
4) i thiink guys are just insecure. “A woman who can please herself and needs no man, shows no sympathy, and rules with an iron fist” kind of fear. you know?
Just wanted to add that masturbation is also a good way to find out how you feel about a fantasy/possible scenario with a partner, maybe even more than one…
I find it useful to explore an idea on my own, than when it’s over see how I feel about it. Was it really a good one that I want to try for real? Did it leave me with a bad feeling once it was over? Should I keep it as a “fantasy only”? Should I “think about it again” and see how I feel?
Few things I’d like to throw out there to the entire population, all genders and sexual orientations included:
1. Does masturbation often keep you out of trouble and unnecessary involvement with people you would rather avoid sex with otherwise?
2. Would it be correct to consider masturbation as a form of “erotic meditation”? I see it this way, but lately had an argument with a friend about this issue.
3. Is masturbation while thinking about someone other than your partner should be considered as “cheating”?
4. Finally, why is it that women are having an easier time discussing the issue (toys parties, etc.), while men often bring it up in their conversations as a negative thing?
OK, I’ve said enough. Your turn…
Elizabeth, I’m with you. When I want it more, masturbation is still fun, just not exactly what (who) I want.
I love the list… Though personally, when I want it more than my guy does, masturbation really doesn’t seem to do the trick… I tend to want HIM, not just sex.
Oh, that’s brilliant!
OK, you started it. Let’s build a list. Humor and originality count:
1. Strangling the red-helmeted soldier of love.
Next?