All posts by Em & Lo

Study: Some Playas Are Just Spreading the Love

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condom_vending_machine photo by quaziefoto

Where would this blog be without all the scientists who study why we do the things we do in bed? They’ve debunked the beer goggles theory, taught us that even cheaters’ guilt is selfish, and confirmed Paula Abdul’s hypothesis that opposites attract. And the latest breaking news from the lab? Not all players are cold-hearted snakes. Researchers at Villanova and Rutgers charted personality traits against bedpost notches. They weren’t surprised to discover that dominant people have more notches than wall flowers, on average. But what did shock them was the finding that people who have very warm personalities are just as likely to sleep around as people with very cold personalities — while people who are somewhere in between warm and cold get around a lot less. This held true for both men and women, and for all manner of sex acts, from making out to making lurve.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

10 Things a Grown Woman Should Never Have

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Poster of Robert Doisneau’s “Le baiser de l’hôtel de ville” via Art.com

The Men’s Health article “18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have” made us think we should have dated more Men’s Health readers back in our single days. (“10. A name for his penis. Even if it’s a really clever name. … 13. A futon. Sure, beds are for sleeping. But such a meager, slouchy spread has never, in the history of sex, inspired a woman to say, ‘Take me on your futon.’ … 14. Code words for ugly women. Actually, code words for anything.”) It also got us thinking about the sort of things a grown woman should never have…

A stuffed animal on her bed. We’re not saying you have to donate that mangey bear to the Goodwill store — just store him as discreetly as you would your vibrator. No sex partner wants to share your bed with a blankie. Speaking of vibrators…
A sex toy that contains phthalates or one labeled “for novelty use only.” Woman-up and buy yourself a sex toy that was actually designed with your pleasure in mind.
Pants low enough that her thong peeks out the top. Or, as we like to refer to it, a “plot spoiler.”
A list of all the people she’s slept with. Share your sexual history, yes. But naming names? People, no good can come of this.
A poster of Doisneau’s “The Kiss by the Hotel de Ville” on her wall.

READ THE OF THIS TOP TEN LIST on SUNfiltered to find out why masturbation hang-ups, sex with your superior, and vaginas named “fufu” are not appropriate for a grown woman. (Oh, and this post is our entry in the “Most Trafficked Post” contest for June, so you’d be doing us a huge favor by clicking through, too.)

Blog Snog (06-05-09)

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A weekly roundup of some of our favorite sex- and love-related posts from various blogs and websites:

Our new hero, Mrs. Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian and founder of Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers (“which is a bit like Concerned Women for America, only slightly less concerned and with better shoes”), explains traditional marriage to everyone else.
A guy asks his girlfriend to explain what’s happening during her period — she draws him an awesome (and scientifically spot-on) diagram.
Overly earnest tips on how to make your bedroom a sacred space.
The Frisky makes a compelling case that “hate fucking” does not equal rape.
Your Tango recommends the library as a date-option for budget-conscience couples (since they can get SEX: How to Do Everything there!).
We’re seriously disappointed in Joe Jonas’s rendition of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.”
We love any post with the words “stupid fucking beauty pageant” in it.

Would You Dump Someone If They Didn't Like Your Friends?

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Can’t see the poll? Click here to take it.

Dr. George Tiller in Doc "What's the Matter with Kansas?"

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Salon.com has an extended scene from the forthcoming documentary “What’s the Matter With Kansas?“, based on Thomas Frank’s bestselling book of the same title about the Right Wing’s rise in the once-liberal state. It features Dr. George Tiller, the Wichita-based abortion provider who was gunned down last Sunday while attending church. The clip touches on the years of threats and abuse Tiller experienced — law suits, arson, death threats, failed assassination attempts — for his commitment to providing women with safe and legal reproductive care. When Tiller speaks, he seems exhausted yet resigned to defending women’s rights against these radicals. It’s tragic.

After the jump, a round-up of interesting articles and info on Dr. Tiller and reproductive rights in the wake of his murder:

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Contest: Name That Schlong!

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photo via Sunfiltered

Which creature’s penis is the arrow pointing to?

If you haven’t familiarized yourself with the awe-inspiring variety among various species’ penises, here’s your chance. Scroll through the “Grand Gallery of Penises” (all of which are featured in the “Why Vagina” episode of the second season of wacky Isabella Rossellini’s “Green Porno” series on SundanceChannel.com) to find out which creature is the proud owner of the schlong that the arrow is pointing to in the photo above. Then give us the answer — along with your best slang for that creature’s particular schlong — in either the comments section below or via email here by EOD Thursday, June 11th, 2009 (just remember to include a way for us to reach you in case you win). The person with the correct answer AND the slang we deem best will be the proud winner of the following — good luck!:

A KEEN bag made from recycled posters
A Boku journal made from recycled paper
A Sundance pen made from recycled materials
A Sundance hat made from organic cotton
A Sundance reusable shopping bag

Advice: I Accidentally Said "I Love You"

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Hi Em & Lo,

I just started dating this guy and recently we were making out, it was going well, he started to go down on me. I wanted to tell him “I love it when you go down on me” but it came out as ” I love you..when you do that.” He paused for a second and just continued. I felt like such a dork! The thing is, I know I don’t love this guy. We’re a new thing and I like him but not that way. What do you when you get yourself tangled up in situations like this?

— Mortified

Dear Morty,

You dig a hole in the sand and bury your head in it for a few weeks until the humiliation wears off. At least, that’s what you wish you could do when you get yourself tangled up in a situation like this. Here are four real-world options for people in these circumstances (though, sadly, since a few weeks have passed, they won’t all apply to you):

In the moment: You could laugh it off right then and there. Joke that you swear that wasn’t a Freudian slip, just an innocent slip of the tongue. “Oh my god, total slip of the tongue! Nothing to worry about, carry on, carry on.” Pros: You allay any of his fears right then and there, so they don’t snowball into bad sex or a premature breakup. Cons: You interrupt the sexual moment, which might throw some people (or their penises) for a loop, and risk protesting too much, turning an already awkward situation into a painful one (painful like the answering machine scene in Swingers).
(more…)

Confession: My Top 5 Pornos for Us Ladies

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Comstock Films makes great couples’ porn

A couple of weeks ago, our friend confessed that porn makes her heart grow fonder — especially when she watches it with her boyfriend. So we asked her to compile a list of her top favorite porn movies or genres for watching with a partner. We’re constantly hearing from women who hate their boyfriend’s porn habit (or from those boyfriends who don’t want to give up their porn) — well, maybe this list will help you find some common ground. (Or maybe it will just confirm for you that porn is definitely not your thang). Here’s what our friend had to say…

White Lightning. Directed by former porn star Veronica Hart, this film is a great place for couples to start because it’s almost like watching a regular movie. The plot is complex and engaging, the characters are realistic and the sex is hot. There is something for both men and women and the quality of the film will make it a less awkward experience. Films with female directors tend to appeal more to women (duh), making White Lightning a good place to start for a hesitant couple. FYI: This film is less graphic than some of the others in the list.
Erotic Massage. Any porn that includes erotic massage is a good ice breaker for couples because it encourages sensual foreplay without just throwing hardcore sex in your face. This one in particular on red tube is girl-on-girl, which, depending on the woman, might be more appealing because it focuses on female pleasure. The video is slow-moving and builds up anticipation. Another positive about the film is that the girl-on-girl action will appeal to male fantasies but will also teach him a thing or two. Heads up: This vid is amateur porn style, which means a lot of close shots of the vagina being fingered (though happily the lighting is a lot more subtle than the youporn vid in #3, below). (more…)

Naked News (06-02-09)

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books_legs photo by samie.shake

News you can use: Research shows that history majors have the most active sex lives.
Jerry Springer is secretly a pretty cool guy: he cries at chick flicks, he gets embarrassed on a daily basis, and his least favorite aspect of his appearance? “My mirror.”
Our favorite Twitter of the week, courtesy of none other than Miley Cyrus: “If your thighs don’t jiggle, go and see a doctor.”
No doubt you already know that Dr. George Tiller, a Kansas doctor whose clinic received national attention for performing late-term abortions, was shot to death on Sunday. As he entered his church. Words fail us, but you can make a donation to the pro-choice cause in his name right here.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Wise Guys: Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Cleavage?

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cleavage photo by Stefan Andrej Shambora

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: We know that men love boobs, but is there such a thing as too much cleavage? At what point — if any — does it become tacky to guys? Is it all about the situation and context?

Straight Married Guy (Matt): Yes, I guess there’s such a thing as too much cleavage. If I took a date to a wedding and she rolled up with 3/4 of her boobs out, I’d be a little embarrassed (and, okay — it’d probably turn me on at the same time). You see, my inner ape is endlessly fascinated with boobs, and seeing cleavage is always appreciated. But sometimes it’s inappropriate or tacky. I think all guys are a little schizophrenic about this. It’s like, man, that is a ridiculously cheesy outfit… but I wish I could see the rest of those boobs.

Straight Single Guy (Colin): I fall in love all over again with cleavage each day, but I guess when you really get down to it, there are a few specific contexts when it’s time to cover up. The scenarios are hard to distinguish. If you’re meeting my family, it’s a no-go on breast exposure, whereas if you’re meeting my co-workers, it’s totally okay. If we’re going to dinner, take them out, but if it’s Sunday brunch you might want to keep them concealed. If you’re a woman with real class, you’ll always find a way to pull it off. But please, double check with a friend who’s not afraid to hurt your feelings before you try something like J-Lo’s 2000 Grammy dress. (more…)

Anti-Domestic Violence Ad Changes When You Look At It

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domestic_violence_psa

“It happens when nobody is looking” is the tag line for this award-winning Amnesty International PSA about domestic violence. Installed in a bus stop in Germany, it features an eye-tracking device so that when people look at it, the image morphs from a scene of domestic violence into a scene of domestic bliss. (The image of the bus stop above is in English for publicity purposes.)

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Books: Beowulf on the Beach (Part 2 of 2)

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photo via flickr

Last week we did a Q&A with Jack Murnighan, author of Beowulf on the Beach: What to Love and What to Skip in Literature’s 50 Greatest Hits, about the sexiest stuff in classic literature. Today we’ve got the “What’s Sexy” section of his chapter on the New Testament, reprinted with his permission of course:

There’s not much that’s technically sexy in the New Testament, but since so many people’s chances for eternal happiness are at stake, I’m going to break down all the most important sex-related stuff:

On cheating: “Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). In this regard, the New Testament is harsher than the Old. Pity.

On homosexuality: “Vile affections … Women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another … to do those things which are not convenient” (Romans 1:26-8). Based on what I’ve seen in the Greyhound men’s room, it’s not that inconvenient.

That there’s not much hope: “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind” (1Corinthians 6:9).

Euphemism of the week: “Let us walk honestly…not in chambering and wantonness” (Romans 1:13). Chambering!

Like Chaucer’s Wife of Bath said: “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband” (1Corinthians 7:3).

And like she did: “If they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn” (1Corinthians 7:9).

For George Costanza: “For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour” (1Thessalonians 4:3-4).

But can I keep the non-superfluous part? “Lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness” (James 1:21).

All in all, more than you’d expect from the Christian rulebook, right?

– From Jack Murnighan’s Beowulf on the Beach

Eminem & Bruno, Together At Last

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Sacha Baron Cohen presented an award at the MTV Movie Awards last night as his German-fashion-maven character “Bruno”, dressed as a bare-assed angel who flies in over the audience and “accidentally” ends up sitting on attendee Eminem’s face. Was Eminem in on the stunt? Either way, it was brilliant live TV.

Dream Interpretation: My One-Night Stand Shot Me Through the Heart

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shot_through_heart photo by szlea

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means (after the jump). This week, a woman asks Lauri:

To start you must know the characters in my dream, there were only two… me and my male neighbor (I live in a townhouse, so he’s really close). In real life a week ago, we had sex. We’ve never dated, he seemed to fancy me, so I invited him over to my place for a movie. Well, we never watched the movie and one thing led to another, it was cheap sex on the couch, then he left. I felt it went too fast and was a mistake, clearly he isn’t right for me. That next week I tried to contact him and invite him on a hike or something via email and phone but couldn’t get communication going. His last email read, “I’m laying low for now I want to get back with my girlfriend Donna.” I haven’t talked to him since.

So… Last night I was dreaming he was in bed with me wanting to give me a massage — no sex involved, he promised. I was very sleepy and just wanted to fall asleep peacefully. I finally took off my clothes and lay there, he spooned me and I told him to get out and go home! He jumped in the shower for 5 seconds, I thought that was a very short shower. I sat in the chair in the bedroom and put on a shirt and was about to put on some pants when he came in the room and fired I think about 5 shots in my chest. I actually felt the blood ooze down my crossed arms, it seemed so real. Then I softly said “I knew it.”

Startled with this, I woke up and had trouble getting back to sleep. This is the first time I was shot like that in a dream and knew who it was doing the shooting. I wondered in those waking hours if this dream was telling me something to beware of with him. I live alone and am very frightened now. Please help.
(more…)

Please Help EMandLO.com: Click on the Link Below!

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photo by Studio Mohawk

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It’s a link to our SUNfiltered post on The Top 10 Things Your Mama Inadvertently Taught You About Sex. By clicking on any of the links to it in this post you’ll help us try to win a most-trafficed-post contest, which will help us keep EMandLO.com up and running. So if you enjoy our site at all, please, show us a little love and CLICK ON THIS LINK! It’s your last chance to do so before the contest is over end of May. Thank you!

Blog Snog (05-29-09)

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men_skirt photo via The Frisky

A weekly roundup of some of our favorite sex- and love-related posts from various blogs and websites:

Lady Gaga says she likes boys who look like girls, but the Frisky goes one better and Photoshops skirts onto a bunch of male celebs. It’s hotter than it sounds. (Though their Photoshopping skills could use some honing.)
Our Wise Guy buddy Chris Diclerico reminded us this week of the awesome mash-up of the Peaches song “Fuck the Pain Away,” as sung by Miss Piggy.
YourTango’s Tom Miller tells you how to recognize the sensitive ’90s guy (yep, he’s still hanging around) and calls for an end to faux sensitivity.
Manflet thinks that “men with masculinity issues should be forced to read Jane Austen’s back catalogue before reading anything by Andy McNabb or Rubert Ludlum.” And our Manflet crush deepens.
College Candy wishes everyone would stop making such a big deal about the fact that Brooke Shields didn’t lose her virginity until she was 22. Apparently losing your virginity used to be a private and personal matter — remember those days?
Speaking of private and personal, the new trend in confessionals appears to be telling the world how long it took you to learn to masturbate. Hey, better late than never, we guess.
And in the not-exactly-breaking-news category, Tres Sugar reports that princess culture might not be healthy for girls. And coming up later, folks: Turns out runway models aren’t good body image role models; also, why you should never run with scissors.

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