Farting in front of me? My lady has farted ON me. I started it. She returned fire. I was aghast. How COULD she? Jesus CHRIST! Frankly, I have always been emphatically opposed to revelations of female bodily function (except menstruation, which never bothered me). I like a seamless veneer of femininity, and that’s what I thought I had found in my dainty lil’ lady. Now here she is laughing her ass off after bending over and blowing one right at me; she is mimicking the stunned and horrified look on my face, and laughing even harder; tears of hilarity well up in her eyes as I stomp to the bathroom and wash my face. I was stone-faced and disgusted, but she offered no apology.
It is battle I lost. Flatulence is now a cornerstone of our domestic humor. It took some getting used to, but hey, I’ve got a pretty little lady with the maturity of a 13 year old boy. Don’t all guys dream of that?
Reader Johnny had this to say in response to our post, “Wise Guys: Can Men Handle the Fact of Female Bodily Functions?”
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