Comment of the Week: Saying the Wrong Name in Bed Is No Biggie

photo by demi-brooke

Relax. You did nothing wrong — wires get crossed in our heads, and things come out that mean nothing… it sounds like that’s what happened.

If you’re totally present in your current relationship that’s all that really matters — so tell your boyfriend that, acknowledge your error, apologize, but don’t act like you committed some grave unforgivable mistake, because you didn’t. Hopefully he can see that, and with a little joking and ego stroking he’ll be fine.

On the off chance that he can’t forgive this minor and understandable slip-up, know that it says more about him than it does about you. I don’t know how old you are, but if you’ve been married and divorced you’re going to have some baggage, and any partner worth having will understand and embrace that as part of your past and part of what brought you to him.

Evan, responding to the post “Your Call: I Said the Wrong Name in Bed!”

This is a situation where the truth will set you free! Just say, honestly, when you’re having sex with him, you are so totally in the moment, that your brain sort of shuts down. You had sex with your ex-husband probably for many years, so it’s just an impulse reaction to use that name. Nothing more to it than that, just a habit like any other. Your next task, (but don’t do it immediately, since he will suspect something), is to make sure to convince him that he’s the best you’ve ever had, better than your ex, and all that sort of stuff. That’s probably what is most threatening to him about the ex, that maybe he is more important to you or the sex was better or something.

Hannah, responding to the same post

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