Comment of the Week: Telling on a Cheat Could Save a Life

Reader Jay Bee said the following in response to our post, “Your Call: Should I Tell Her He’s Cheating on Her?”

As someone who may die from the cervical cancer my cheating exhusband gave me from one of his mistresses, you NEED to tell the wife.

I highly doubt you are the first person he’s cheated on his wife with. While you have the benefit of being able to choose to use protection, married women in relationships they believe to be monogamous see no reason to use protection as they believe there is nothing to be exposed.

My ex-husband was tested for everything before we got married, he was my first sexual partner and I discovered the hard way that he was cheating on me when it was discovered I had cervical cancer from HPV he picked up from one of his many mistresses and manstresses he was having unprotected sex with.

I had no idea, and now I could die as a result.

Yes she may go crazy at you, and she may not be grateful, but from one human being to another, you owe her the truth to save her life.



  1. Can we have Dr Kate’s or Dr Vanessa’s take on this? My Pap smear test revealed I have a papillomavirus that is linked with cervical cancer, and I just had to go through another test to see whether my body’s gotten rid of it already or whether it will need help.
    When I asked my gynecologist whether I should do anything to protect my boyfriend, she said that sadly, the only option would be having not slept with him at all, because condoms do not protect you againgst HPV, as they’re thinner than the pores in latex condoms.
    I also asked if he contaminated me, and she said that HPV takes a lot of time to show, so it wasn’t necessarily him.
    So I’m unsure about this commenters health info…

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