Comment of the Week: Why First-Date Sex Isn’t a Relationship Killer

Reader Lisa said the following in response to the (oldie-but-goodie) post “Wise Guys: Is Sex on a First Date a Relationship Killer?”

When you go out with a guy, he’s already decided what he wants out of that relationship, whether it be a LTR or a one night stand. You just have to learn how to read the signs as to what a man is looking for. I have had sex on a first date three times and each time it turned into a relationship that lasted several months. It wasn’t the sex on the first date that ended these relationships — other reasons were the cause.

I recently met a guy for a first date, and we have been talking on the phone for a week or so beforehand. When we finally met it was just an instant connection, we just talked and laughed and had fun together. We were both really attracted to each other and one thing let to another and we ended up having sex most of the night. We had great chemistry even in the bedroom. He wanted me to stay the night, and he held me most of the night. Ever since that night we have been talking every day, and we are going out tomorrow night again.

I have waited to have sex with guys I dated, only to find out that we were not sexually compatible at all. I think if you are honest with each other about your intentions, what you want out of the relationship, then by all means, have sex on the first date if it feels right. Just make sure you are safe.