Max, one of our Wise Guys, has a confession to make:
Ladies, face it: After a blow job, your average man would like you to swallow his seed, plain and simple. Whether that’s because of pride, practicality or a penchant for raunchiness may vary from guy to guy, but a lover’s choice of spitting over swallowing is something that almost all men take quite personally. Do we taste that bad? Do we disgust you? Aren’t you into us?
I was not surprised then when I recently heard a chef at my restaurant bemoaning the fact that his lady, despite her willingness to perform certain acts, would not ingest the spoils of her apparent victory. The cook simply could not understand why she wouldn’t swallow it after it had already been in her mouth.
Now, most men who work in a kitchen have a high tolerance for all that is salacious, perverted, even gross — much higher than your average citizen. So it was natural then for me to wonder whether my disgruntled chef had himself tasted his own “love juice.” After all, if he objected to a woman not devouring something that he produced (a touchy subject for any chef), he himself must have been brave enough to taste test all that came out of his kitchen.
“Have you ever tasted your own?” I asked.
For the first time in any kitchen that I’ve ever worked, everyone went silent. They stared at me, their faces contorted in disgust. I saw then that, even if any of them had, their homophobic instincts would not allow them to admit that they had tasted any man’s semen, even if it was just their own.
I, on the other hand, had to come clean. I told them that not only had I tasted my own, but that it was not, in fact, all that bad. I suggested that maybe they should do the same before they started preaching the virtues of swallowing over the sins of spitting. (I also briefly considered highlighting the fact that the taste of one’s semen is dictated by one’s diet and that, in light of the sheer amount of junk food and booze the majority of them consumed daily, their sexual partners might have had good reason to spit; but I decided this blow was literally below the belt). They, in turn, have decided that I am far stranger than they had originally thought and, since I beat them at their own game of sexual one-upmanship, treat me with a bit more respect than before.
Still, the fact that most men are uncomfortable even discussing the idea of tasting their own ejaculate amuses and confuses me. I’ve heard those same cooks obsess over the joys of anal sex, “doing” women on their periods, and having their girlfriends slip a finger in their bums during a blow job, and yet something so standard as their own come is too much for them? Isn’t the idea of feces and menstrual blood a bit more concerning?
Gentlemen, face it: we are being ignorant. We can’t handle the heat and yet we practically live in the kitchen. It’s time to try new things. I know this might be hard to swallow, but every woman who has gone down on you has gotten a taste, and I think that it is now up to us to share the load.
I think the thing that really makes swallowing the preferred method is that the male ejaculation in an “ongoing thing.” In my younger days it would sometimes include 3 or 4 spurts to complete. So, I naturally wouldn’t want to extract myself from the woman’s mouth while this was happening, and she had to swallow and breathe in the process. Then there is also the fact that finishing things off with a stroke of the hand is a sorry follow up to the warmth and softness of a woman’s lips and tongue.
I have tasted my own for many years. In my late teens I was flexible enough to actually touch my lips to the tip, in the shower for “direct injection”.
I have no major objection to the spit or swallow choice, although swallow is preferred. My objection is to letting go before I am finished, which is what I put up with.
Kissing after? I love it, you’ve already tasted it, let me taste it too.
Ladies, how about if we go have a big spit after pleasuring you, or better yet, stop just before you have your pleasure and let you finish yourself off.
I always have and always will swallow…It is a personal preference though… no mess to clean up afterwards! I had to beg my ex-husband to let me go down there… He is my ex now… LOL
I have been with my husband many years. On this point we worked together. He pulled me away at first, then as time went by we talked and he said yes it would be better if I swallowed. So my only concession was if I were in total control. He needless to say abliged me on this point. He said it made him feel yucky and nastey and I did not want that. My advice is talk to your partner and work it out together. It only makes the experience better.
great post. I think he’s a hero. More people need to start doing little things like that to challenge these arbitrary sexual taboos. I like anyone brave and free enough to do something that most people won’t even speak of.
I guess I’ll take your (expert) word for it. lol.
Well personally, I think I need to get to know Jess a little better. That’s all that really matters right now, lol jk.
I must admit that I really don’t care what happens to the liquid once it’s no longer in my possession. However, it is much easier to clean up around the area, if it has been swallowed. I also note that when it has been caught in the mouth and swallowed, there should be no fear of experiencing a stinging sensation in one’s eye, nor the embarrassment of needing to make a “Lewinski” trip to the dry cleaners.
SOME LEARNED ADVICE FOR MEN WHO LIKE SWALLOWS:
– I’ve been informed that the consistency is very similar to that experience when eating raw oysters on the half shell, so search out someone who enjoys oysters, as they will have little cause for complaining about consistency. If they enjoy the oysters, then they should enjoy the other (and another, if you will).
– I’ve also learned that it is very appreciated when I have minimized my consumption of red meat, while partaking in increased quantities of lemonade within the 12 hour period of time leading up to distribution. Try it and see if you don’t get compliments about flavor, and an eagerness for refills, too.
May I offer a different perspective? As a middle aged gay man,and a devout practioner of the oral arts,it really boils down to this: If they are into you they will swallow,if they arent,they wont.Period. Rare is the “love gift” that is so fetid,so foul and unpleasant that swallowing isnt easily accomplished.So Mikey,while unsubtle,is actually making a valid point.
I’ve heard there are harder things to swallow, Mikey. I’m sure you’ll be fine.
nice one – I now consider myself “Beta-status” because of my ongoing beef with spellcheck. lol. Tough pill to swallow.
I have always swallowed in relationships. I think it has a lot to do with getting caught up in the moment and wanting to experience all of my partner. In fact, when I fall in love, invariably I find that I really fall in love with the way my man tastes as well.
That said, no matter how much I enjoy swallowing, I would have to break up with a guy as soon as I found out that he cannot spell the word “unanimous” when typing a comment online–particularly if he puts it in all caps. What with spellcheck and Google right at his fingertips, I would find such a lazy misspelling to be too much of an indicator of beta-male status. He would be relegated to being “one of those guys”.
There is alot of truth to what T is saying about “doing her a favor”… its true. Relationships should be about compatibility – as soon as one or more parties realizes an area of incompatiblity that is pretty damn important to them, they SHOULD move on. And in doing so they are freeing that partner up to have future experiences they otherwise never would have had. Alot of people bristle when they see the truth in black and white about issues like these. If you dont want to hear the truth about what people think about stuff like this then dont read the comments. MY truth is that if you dont do it, it tells me alot about our relationship, you, and whether or not we will continue to see each other. If you dont like that then fine, you can deal with it in your own way
I think if you left a girl for not swallowing, you’re doing her a favor. And HAVE you tried your own spunk? I don’t think you have any right to insist on it that strongly unless you have. And I have to admit… I’m sort of picturing you sitting around with your tanned bros drinking grey goose redbulls and popped collars… are you on Jersey Shore by chance? You’ve just become ‘one of those’ guys…
also mikey ive left plenty of men once i found out they wont or cant give me oral very well
sure you get me hahahah