Confession: I Just Had a Genderless Orgasm…I Think


Our contributor Antonio Reis, a first year at Wesleyan, has a confession to make:

It’s a Wednesday evening on the Wesleyan campus, and I’m cutting art history class to attend a workshop lead by Barbara Carellas (author of Urban Tantra) called “How to Have a Genderless Orgasm.” There’s another way to climax? Van Dyck can wait!

When I and about 40 other students enter the open space, we’re instructed to “leave our genitals at the door,” since they won’t be needed in the following exercises. I’m a little disappointed.

We all lie down on our backs with our knees bent as if we’re fully dilated and about to give birth. Then we begin the exercise (and it IS exercise): Breathe in. Tighten abs. Suck some red energy thing into our chakra. Breathe out. Repeat. Again. And again. And again. It’s intense. “Remember those squeezes!” shouts Carellas over the Enya-esque music as I tighten my abs and squeeze my pelvic muscles as if I were suddenly stopping a flow if urine.

The point of the exercise is to take the orgasm to a whole new level, leaving the physical aspect behind and focusing on the spiritual and emotional pleasures. By breathing and focusing on filling ourselves with energy tapped from the Earth itself, we’re supposed to reach an overwhelming climax, one that doesn’t concern itself with such trifles as ejaculation…

I keep breathing and tightening. The girl next to me starts moaning. Someone across the room starts to laugh uncontrollably. I fart. (Hey, it’s all very relaxing.)

When the instructor gives the command, we’re to breathe 30 quick breaths in unison — it’s an individual exercise, yet we’re working as a group to achieve “orgasm.” Heavy breathing, chests heaving, students moaning. Even the normally taciturn ones are sighing audibly. A tingling sensation starts in my lower belly and seems to travel up into my head (like, the head head, where my brain is). The music becomes a loud and powerful  tribal chant. People begin to curl over into the fetal position. Climax is achieved!

Personally, I feel a sense of tranquility and peace. I’m in another state of mind for a whole three minutes. Slowly, I come back down from my Arcadian paradise.  After regaining my Earthly sense of self, I get up, and feel a serenity I’ve never felt before. If this is an orgasm, it’s the strangest one I have ever had. (I’m not entirely convinced). But as a mediation device, it’s orgasmic.

I buy the book.

–Antonio Reis


  1. have met/workshopped with the incomparable Ms. Carellas and have worn my copy of urban tantra to bits. she and her work are quite amazing. and orgasmic.

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