Confession: Top 10 Worst Things About Studying Sexuality in College

Our contributor Abby Spector, who is majoring in Feminist/Gender/Sexuality Studies at Wesleyan University, confesses the downside of her chosen field:

  1. Picture this: it’s a Sunday night. You’re lonely. However, instead of watching romantic comedies and listening to Joni Mitchell, you have to read about the beauty of the female orgasm. Reading about great sex is not comforting when you are sad and horny.
  2. If you’re a writer, you are bound to write about your sexual experiences. Most of the time these experiences include a second (or third or fourth) party. Pseudonyms can only go so far. They might read it. For better or worse, the honest truth gets out.
  3. Sex loses its sexiness. It’s like Christmas every day. The secret, rebellious allure of sex can disappear when it’s all you read about.
  4. “Hi, Grammy! I’m studying sex. Aren’t you proud?” Awkward.
  5. Just because I study sex does not mean I have it or want it all the time. My work does not mean I am promiscuous or excellent in bed. So stop thinking this!
  6. “So what are you going to do with a degree in sexuality?” I hear this question at least twice a week. I usually respond with a joke, but in all honesty, I have no idea.
  7. You are not always in the mood for controversial subject matter. Sometimes you want simple answers. For better or worse, this is not offered in sex studies.
  8. Flirtation, dating, and sex have the potential to be viewed as an anthropological study rather than day-to-day life.
  9. Carrie Bradshaw made money, but she was a fictional TV character. A degree in sex studies does not guarantee you a fab NY studio apartment, Mr. Big, or a lifetime supply of Manolo Blahniks.
  10. Keep writing away from parents! I repeat: Keep writing away from parents! Fathers do not like hearing explicit details of their daughter’s first blowjob.

Abby Spector


  1. cute article. But she’s studying feminist/gender/sexuality studies, not “feminine”. Big difference

  2. ToppHogg, what do fundamentalists have to do with you studying sexuality at an institution of higher learning? Whether programs are offered are affected more by student demand than by outside political pressure. If enough students in an instution demanded courses, or even a minor/major, an institution would offer if for the simple reason of keeping those students from transferring to an institution that does offer the program. Thus, as Abby points out, #6 (“So what are you going to do with a degree in sexuality?”) probably is a more significant factor than the number of fundamentalists located in a state.

    Kansas is known for amongst other things as trying to keep Darwin out of the minds of youth. Yet, a quick perusal of Wichita State’s website will show several courses on sexuality being offered. The same can be said for Fort Hays State.

    Abby’s humorous piece has a lot of valid points. No where is she making a claim that others are preventing her from pursuing her concentration. Furthermore, there’s no evidence to support your claims.

  3. So, there will not be an “Abby’s First BJ” Xmas ornament on the family tree this year (or any year)? 😉

    Funny stuff Abby – I enjoy your contributions. 🙂

  4. It’s a shame that the fundamentalists won’t allow more people to study sex. We can all use someone to make the bed rock!

  5. Ahhh I loved this article! I am studying sexuality in college too and can identify with every one of your points. As much as I truly love and am fascinated by my studies, the comments, knowing looks, and awkward jokes get old. I suggest reading the introduction to Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to All Creation for a beautiful piece about why the study of sex is just so appealing and meaningful. I found myself wanting to print the work onto the back of my business cards in lieu of my constant, often lackluster, explanations.

    However, I do sort of disagree with number five of your points- knowledge is power (ohhh how cliché, what is summer doing to my writing skills?!) and I think a thorough understanding of the human body and the mechanics of sex make one an incredibly skilled lover. In other words, Sexuality majors know how to make ya bed rock. 😉

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