Our contributor is a student at an East coast university. And that’s all she’s willing to say. Except this…
I’m not attracted to attractive guys. Those Burberry-wearing, BMW-driving, weight-lifting, business-studying, fraternity hunks just don’t do it for me. At the end of the night, I know I’m booty-calling my chunky, red-haired, 800-dollar-car-driving, engineer boy — the guy that I’m actually attracted to.
Sure, we all know that beauty is only skin-deep and that the slightly doughy nerd makes a much better husband. But I’ve found that the conventionally unattractive guys make better booty calls, too. I’ve slept with my share of hotties, the head turners, and let me just say that they’re lucky they’re pretty.
With every attractive guy comes a package. No, not a manly “package” that will make me moan and orgasm, but a package that includes sorority-ex-girlfriend drama, expectations that coitus will be as pleasurable to my insides as his rock hard abs are to the eye, and, most likely, a higher risk for STDs.
Take my most recent foray into hottie territory (hey, what can I say? I’m only human, and even I am occasionally tempted by fancy wrapping): I was on a “private tour” of a fraternity house with a rather attractive guy I’d met in class. I’d never met an undergrad before who was built like a body builder! The tour invariably led to us sitting on a couch. I waited for him to make his move. Turns out his “move” consisted of him taking off his clothes. No joke.
Sure, it was nice to look, but his unceremonious disrobing took all the fun out of it. Besides, it was the wrong time of the month, so I wasn’t in the mood for much more than kissing and a little friendly fondling. I told him this, but it didn’t stop him removing the final few articles of clothing while I sat there flabbergasted, fully dressed in a coat and scarf.
I guess the eye candy trick is usually all it takes, because that appeared to be the only move in his playbook. I kissed him briefly, out of pity, and he kissed just as horribly as you’d expect from someone who thinks uninvited stripping counts as foreplay.
As I extricated myself from his groping and cleaned up the saliva he’d deposited halfway across my face, all I could think about was my chunky red head, who is smooth as butter in the kissing department and far more generously endowed than any of the frat guys I’ve groped and/or been groped by.
The seemingly unattractive guy is a gem — totally underrated and so eager to please.
Ladies, why do this to ourselves? Why settle for the hotties; the ones with the great bodies, nice cars, perfect haircuts, when you can have the better guys? The ones who are so flattered you would even consider touching them, that they treat you with respect and yearn to please you. (Yes, I’m talking about cunnilingus.) As the unofficial spokesperson for these overlooked males, I ask you all to take a chance on the man with a little flab on his gut, un-groomed hair, and even a pimple, if it comes down to it. Because the best thing about the unattractive booty call? He always picks up.
I think you’re all overlooking something here. You’re talking about hooking up with college boys and not men. A man is not a man if he can not put the woman’s own pleasure before his own. By doing this he ensures that this most likely is not a “one time thing” and she’ll call him again. Not to mention he’s smart enough to realize that she will talk about this with her friends, and really who wants bad gossip? This solidify’s his conquests further. The “hotties” just arent smart enough to realize this, but that doesn’t matter because there’s always another conquest. Face it, women love a “bad boy” and want to be the one to “settle him down” so there will always be one in the waiting. Just like the saying holds for women it holds for women “ugly guys need love too” and I’m glad that you’re all here to offer that up.
I write a blog called http://www.HookingUpSmart.com, and I hear from a lot of college women. Several of us were sitting around chatting recently, and one girl said, “Boyfriends are ugly.” The other five girls immediately agreed. I thought that was so funny, but they accepted it as fact. The point is, the frat rat hotties are totally self-absorbed and think they can just get ass whenever they want, whereas guys with less going for them looks-wise have less attitude and try harder. Since the brain is the most important sex organ by far, I would say that’s good strategy.
Altough I woudn’t say unattractive girls are better in bed, I would say that I have noticed no correlation between a woman’s appearance and her aptitude/attitude in bed.
Hotter is not always hotter.
I’m with a short, hairy Italian boy. He’s a developer, nerdy, wears glasses and everyone he works with in impressed with his expertise at programming. I knew he was the one when he thought my pleasure was more important than his. I have seen girls and friends with guys who, although pretty got off easy, they were lacking in departments because they were too good looking to be told the truth for all their lives, in every aspect of their lives. He maybe nerdy but he’s all man to me and he loves me for who I am not what i look like.
I agree wholeheartedly with his article. My husband is not conventionally attractive – he is doughy and nerdy – but he’s attractive to me. He is the best lover I’ve ever had and always so eager to please me in bed. He knows just how to use his tongue, fingers, and penis.
Some hot guys have total Frathole Syndrome (FRATernity AssHOLE vibe) and I imagine they are as selfish in bed as they are in real life.
Although this stereotype may be true, there’s nothing stopping you from finding a mega-hottie who is a closet nerd. And what’s to say if he’s pretty and treats you like gold, but is horrible in bed, that you can’t teach the poor thing? The ones you can’t fix chuck to the curb, but I think working at it for more a few seconds might be worth while.
The guy who stripped without consent, I’d agree, needed a reality check and your undoubted rejection.
I think “ugly” guys are better in bed… but that’s really because I am mainly attracted to guys most girls consider unattractive. I think intelligence, kindness and an easy smile are things that make a man attractive – not perfect hair, rock hard abs, and killer eyes.
That said, I don’t really think the article was meant to be taken word-for-word seriously… I think she just meant that the men who are conventionally attractive tend to think their attractiveness means they don’t need to be good in the bedroom department. At least, in her experience.
to sophie:
PLEASE tell me you had liquid in your mouth that you spat all over him from bursting out in laughter at his comment. That is TOO FUNNY!!
A) HUGE RESPONSE COMMENTS. oh man.
B) i just wanted to say how well written this was, before i bothered reading all the responses and soiling my initial opinion. it’s really well written and so true. It’s a fun read.
on what the you guys have said about it being rude or mean to say”ugly guys make better booty calls” just like “fat girls give good head” it’s true. it’s not nice way of saying it, but it’s true,
The worse pick-up line I was ever given was by a very hot hottie! He was a friend of my cousin, I had met him a couple of times and sensed that he was attracted to me. I was flattered, but I only thought of him as hot, and that’s not enough for me (he was on the dumb side, total turn-off). Anyhow, we were at this party at my cousin’s and quite late in the evening he finally made a move, telling me that he hoped that it wasn’t a problem with… my own self-image that refrained me from being all over him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn’t that charming?
I generally see where you’re coming from regarding “hot” guys not feeling like they have to do more than show up, but “The ones who are so flattered you would even consider touching them, that they treat you with respect and yearn to please you.”…”Because the best thing about the unattractive booty call? He always picks up.” made me cringe. Reads a little Maxim, fat-girls-give-great-head, to me.
I once had a boss that I swear resembled more closely to that of a twelve year old boy than he did the 26 year old man that he was. He was the fair skin, freckly, red haired, pot bellied, glasses wearing guy that we all know, all agree is a great friend, but certainly never YEARN for. I must have been the exception to this because I could not get enough of the man! I found him to be sexy as all hell and while watching him at work, found myself to lick my lips and think scandalous thoughts on more than one occasion. Not only did he look DAMN GOOD to me, but he also treated me like gold – light years beyond how I had ever been treated in the past. Additionally, he was so flabbergasted that a girl like myself – much younger and cuter if I do say so myself – would give him the time of day that he worked that much harder to show me that it was a good decision on my part. Like I needed the incentive! Best guy I have ever come across! I thought this years ago and still think so now! Unfortunately he is long gone now because I was an idiot, but I’ll always be preaching on the AMAZING-NESS that comes from being with a quote, unquote “ugly” guy – turns out it’s pretty fucking hot!
I agree whole-heartedly!!! The “hot” guys I’ve slept with have all been mediocre in bed, really only interested in enjoying themselves. And trying to hook up with them again is like pulling teeth, always at their convenience. Why do I bother trying? Anyway, the non-Adonis guys I’ve been with have been exquisite in bed; all about my pleasure (multiple times!), good with their hands and tongue (and penis), and truly interested in me and my life (which helps me, seduce my brain and my body will follow you anywhere). So ladies, don’t automatically pass up the guy who is a little shorter than you, or not amazingly attractive, or maybe a little older than you. You may be missing out on some fantastic sexual experiences!
I’ve always been mentally attracted to smarter (somewhat dorkier) men. Compared to the one attractive, personal trainer that I dated that bored me half to death in the bedroom, dorky guys work hard at it. They’ve been better at oral, respectful, and some are even kinky as hell which is ridiculously more fun than a lazy, yet attractive, man who couldn’t care less whether I got off (which I never did).
I agree, I too always went for the guys who were not typicaly “hot”. Once I did go for the hot basketball player, he was tall and built amazingly. I was so excited for sex! However, he was like an old man with a big car, he had the size but did not know how to drive it! he was selfish in bed I guess he figured just being hot was enough, WRONG!! Anywho, I broke it off the next week. LOL