Our contributor is a student at an East coast university. And that’s all she’s willing to say. Except this…
I’m not attracted to attractive guys. Those Burberry-wearing, BMW-driving, weight-lifting, business-studying, fraternity hunks just don’t do it for me. At the end of the night, I know I’m booty-calling my chunky, red-haired, 800-dollar-car-driving, engineer boy — the guy that I’m actually attracted to.
Sure, we all know that beauty is only skin-deep and that the slightly doughy nerd makes a much better husband. But I’ve found that the conventionally unattractive guys make better booty calls, too. I’ve slept with my share of hotties, the head turners, and let me just say that they’re lucky they’re pretty.
With every attractive guy comes a package. No, not a manly “package” that will make me moan and orgasm, but a package that includes sorority-ex-girlfriend drama, expectations that coitus will be as pleasurable to my insides as his rock hard abs are to the eye, and, most likely, a higher risk for STDs.
Take my most recent foray into hottie territory (hey, what can I say? I’m only human, and even I am occasionally tempted by fancy wrapping): I was on a “private tour” of a fraternity house with a rather attractive guy I’d met in class. I’d never met an undergrad before who was built like a body builder! The tour invariably led to us sitting on a couch. I waited for him to make his move. Turns out his “move” consisted of him taking off his clothes. No joke.
Sure, it was nice to look, but his unceremonious disrobing took all the fun out of it. Besides, it was the wrong time of the month, so I wasn’t in the mood for much more than kissing and a little friendly fondling. I told him this, but it didn’t stop him removing the final few articles of clothing while I sat there flabbergasted, fully dressed in a coat and scarf.
I guess the eye candy trick is usually all it takes, because that appeared to be the only move in his playbook. I kissed him briefly, out of pity, and he kissed just as horribly as you’d expect from someone who thinks uninvited stripping counts as foreplay.
As I extricated myself from his groping and cleaned up the saliva he’d deposited halfway across my face, all I could think about was my chunky red head, who is smooth as butter in the kissing department and far more generously endowed than any of the frat guys I’ve groped and/or been groped by.
The seemingly unattractive guy is a gem — totally underrated and so eager to please.
Ladies, why do this to ourselves? Why settle for the hotties; the ones with the great bodies, nice cars, perfect haircuts, when you can have the better guys? The ones who are so flattered you would even consider touching them, that they treat you with respect and yearn to please you. (Yes, I’m talking about cunnilingus.) As the unofficial spokesperson for these overlooked males, I ask you all to take a chance on the man with a little flab on his gut, un-groomed hair, and even a pimple, if it comes down to it. Because the best thing about the unattractive booty call? He always picks up.
First of all, sorry I’m late to this party but I gotta ask, who gives who the right to call someone “ugly?” I guess being 5’5 makes me ugly as well lol! We all know that most women don’t prefer short guys and deem us as unattractive partners, but what actually constitutes ugly for a guy? IMO, ugly for a woman means a capital b**ch with a nasty personality who thinks she’s better than everyone. Beauty is only skin deep peoples, and it’s all in the eyes of the beholder. Is it safe to say that this forum’s way of thinking is based on the American standard of what is considered beautiful? Tall, dark, slim, fit and handsome with washboard abs?
Agreed and applauded. One caveat: I’ve interluded with hot fratrostituded and regular hotties with abundant packages 😉 … you just have to find the ones with more than a penny in their pockets and be willing to Teach AND Require foreplay. Lolol.
But seriously non-hotties are ALWAYS the best in bed with no effort required on your part, except multiple orgasms that is 😉
Sometimes a girl just does not want to fake it! Love your post.
Some of the ugly short fat guys have huge chips on their shoulders from cute girls not giving them the time of day. When you date one they take all their inferiority anger out on you. Their friends will talk about you and what you might be “up” to since “why would you be dating him when you could get a hot guy” By the way the sex is sometimes bad with the ugly guy also since they haven’t had much practice.
im glad someone finally figured it out im a 5’11’ 165 lb sexual trex 🙂 have fun and good luck girls 🙂
Ugly guys are very shy type persons. They could not face the truth especially when talking about looks and perfect hot hunky bodies. I don’t really think the article was meant to be taken word-for-word seriously.
As one of those fugglies I can say as a 4-eyed-nerdy youngster it was difficult, frustrating and sad. Either I was too small then became stocky. However as a late bloomer taught by a Sensuous Black BBW how to please her (listen to how she wants it and enjoy talking and cuddling).
Found being both intelligent, sensitive, still, nerdly though now with a Mesomorphic body type I spy women peeking at me (short, stocky, muscular me!) Funny thing is through all the girls, women that turned me down it is woman that were the most kind and always I’ve learned: return that kindness, treat all women as queens with intelligence.
Oh, size matters (if your into that) I’m not short, medium, or large just listen and hear women before becoming a A-hole by talking smack.
If I can look past beauty to see brains and skill I know women look beyond looks to see fuggies as guys to take a chance on.
C.C.
“Never fuck Republicans.”
Can i get that on a bumper sticker?.
i jumped out of my chair and cheered when i read that.
I don’t think “”unconventional” men are better because they have fewer options, though I agree they are usually better lays… we’re talking about nerds really, not ugly guys, and nerds are good to women because they are thoughtful people. Give them a little credit! There are some hot nerds, and they tend to be in the same class you’re talking about. A thoughtful man knows more about women and sex than what is gleaned from Maxim and frat culture. They can still be assholes, but at least they’re assholes who understand that women can be slutty without being “bitches,” that kink is nothing to be afraid of, and that, in this day and age, it’s considered kind of rude not to eat pussy.
Conversely: Republicans. Never fuck Republicans.
ok.. since I’m a doughy geek, I’ve explained this myself.
geeks like to study, and perform results driven experiments.
We research sex techniques, from the point of view of both genders.
and when performing in bed, we are happy to listen to her input, and will work hard to get the desired results.
(also, on the rare occasions a girls shows interest, we like to show our appreciation by making sure that we do everything we can to make her experience as good as possible.)
I think this has been taken out of content by many readers.I really dig the article and I’m currently looking for a “man” toy lol and I going to see whats out there! Wish me luck
I’ve gotta say that I couldn’t have sex with someone I’m not attracted to, I have been with the hot guys and less conventional guys too and I have noticed that on a general basis a lot of really hot guys have inflated egos, not all of them but a lot of them. That doesn’t mean some unconventional guys don’t to, but when a guys is told from day one they’re gods gift to women they can be pretty selfish. Here’s a couple of examples of people I’ve been with on both ends of the spectrum, I was with a really hot guy once who had no respect for my needs at all, but I have also been with a hot guy who was amazing in bed and very sweet. On the other side I was with a really average guy who was great in bed and another who was awful and kind of creepy. Not to say you can’t teach someone to be good in bed, but you can’t when they don’t respect your needs. Also an example of two guys I”d love to screw are Johnny Depp (hot) and Leonard from big bang theory (Unconventional). I’d also do Alan Rickman who plays Severus Snape in the Harry Potter movies, god his voice make me hot and don’t even get me started on him in that Snape costume…damn.
I think that this article is pretty unfair actually. Asking girls to give someone a shot that they’re not attracted to, just because he’ll be available and eager to please, implies a certain lack of self-esteem . It’s also unfair to guys who are less conventionally attractive – people have different preferences. I’ve had quite a few guy friends who wouldn’t be considered hot by most standards but act just like the frat boys described. It isn’t just guys who look like male models that have inflated egos and it isn’t just “unattractive guys” who treat women well.
My current boyfriend is absolutely gorgeous. We go to different universities and I swear he has a fan club – every time we’re at a party at least 3 girls come up to him and hit on him, irregardless of my presence. My ex’s were also really good looking. I’d just like to point out that for guys everything isn’t about sex. Sure my boyfriend could choose to not commit and have regular sex every day of the week – but he cares more about a real emotional connection. Also, I’ve never had bad sex with any attractive guys (though it’s only been 3). They care just as much at pleasing their partners as anyone else.
Personally, I think that having an attractive guy commit to you is more meaningful precisely because it is a CHOICE. He’s not desperate, he doesn’t think you’re better than him, he’s not needy, he just cares about you.
What this article reads like is that all the girls here are dissing the hot guys because they cannot get them to do whatever they want, whenever they want like the “ugly” boys do. It comes down to this, Guys are as loyal as their options, and quite frankly may not try as hard when another girl is coiming over the next day for sure. That being said, it does not make us all bad in bed, quite the contrary, some good looking boys try hard too, then its the best of both worlds, good at going down and good to look at to…….
i swear an ugly dude wrote this article, but anyway… and as far as getting w/a less than hottie for the cunnilingus, i could probably count on less than one hand the amount of guys that i’ve had sex with that have not went down on me-seems it’s very rare to find a guy who doesn’t like ummmm… having a lick these days-and i’ve been with way more than just 5 guys. but, i like all kinds of guys and thru the yrs i’ve totally found that i’m not all about the pretty boys and muscle heads. they’re way to cocky and usually players…i don’t have the patience for their bs. so yeah-a great average guy that i’m attracted to that respects me is the best, be it for sex or a full on relationship.
Hi, it’s your anonymous confessor here: In response to what Diana says above, I can see your point (ouch!), but I meant this “confession” to be more of a tribute to those whom people deem unattractive. Perhaps my point didn’t come across that I actually find those typically unattractive guys VERY attractive because of their personalities. Of course this is an enormous generalization, but I meant to explain that I love the sweet, down to earth guys whose heads aren’t huge from having girls swoon over them their whole lives.