Dear Em & Lo: I’m a Man, Should I Shave Down There?

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Dear Em & Lo,

I came across your site as I am trying to prepare for  my wedding night and my first time with my wife.

I know nowadays it’s normal for women to shave/wax around the vagina to look clean, and typically guys don’t shave around the penis or scrotum.

My question is, do women like it if a guy removes the pubic hair from around the testicles and the shaft of the penis? Do you like when a man is clean shaven down there? I hear it makes it smoother for sex and more enjoyable, plus I’m sure it feels better for you to touch and handle. What’s your opinion?

— Hairy Groom

Dear H.G.,

First of all, kudos to you for wanting to prepare for your wedding night, and for wanting to make the entire experience as pleasurable as possible for your wife-to-be. We are thrilled to hear that our site can be a helpful resource not only for swinging singles enjoying booty calls in the city, but also for couples who are saving themselves for marriage. Hold on a sec while we just pat ourselves on the back.

Okay, we’re back. Despite that little ego trip we went on, we should say that our opinion on pubic hair shouldn’t really be an issue here. Pubic hair is a very personal matter — where one woman likes a grisly bear in bed, another prefers Kojak.

That said, your fiancee may not even have an opinion on the matter yet, assuming that this will be her first time, too. So our advice is to do very little (i.e. a barely noticeable trim) or even nothing for your wedding night. You’ve got the rest of your marriage to experiment together, to find out each other’s preferences, and to shave or not shave for each other. Start simple, start natural, and work from there.

We’re guessing that on your first night together, you’ll barely notice each other’s pubic hair — you’ll have one or two other things on your mind! Spend some time exploring this site if you want some other tips — the articles linked below are a good place to start.

Have fun storming the castle!

Em & Lo



  1. I agree that it’s very possible she needs to figure out what she prefers with you, and this might take some experimenting with different things. I’ve come to like shaved, but really it’s just because that’s what the guy I’m with does. If he didn’t shave, I’d probably like that better! The problem with shaving though is you have to do it EVERY DAY! Think about how scratchy your chin gets after one day of not shaving. It can be very painful if you let it get stubbly. I think the best thing is to give it a little trim. This is what most guys do, I think, these days. Just a scissors will do, or you could use a beard trimmer to get it all the same length. This is actually what I did for years, and it’s really nice. It feels a little cleaner and neater than the full bush, but it’s still soft.

    Good luck and I hope you have a great wedding!!! And wedding night:-)

  2. I just want to thank Em & Lo for the respectful, helpful tone of this post. As someone who has also made the decision to wait until marriage to have sex with my husband, I can appreciate how hard it can be to admit that there are things I don’t know. It can also be hard even to admit that I have little experience in this area, and not all online communities are so respectful of that admission. So thank you!

  3. Lookit, I honestly don’t care if a guy is hairy (trimmed) or shaved. Either way works, it’s not a thing. BUT what I am NOT ok with is stubble. If you’re going to shave, you’d better shave close, and be prepared to do it often, because being stabbed in the ladybits by stubble on every stroke is not my idea of a good time.

  4. I personally would prefer that a man NOT shave down there. Not only does it cause too much uncomfortable friction because I myself am shaved, but because to me it’s a turn on to see hair down there. It’s manly to me, and incredibly sexy. A nice trim is good too, but I still want something I can run my fingers through and tug on a little.

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