Dream Interpretation: I Keep Cheating on My Boyfriend

statue_kissphoto by victoriapeckham

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means (after the jump). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I keep having extremely explicit dreams about cheating on my boyfriend! There are two kinds: #1) I meet a friend of a friend, a funny brown-haired band guy who’s shorter than me (he doesn’t actually exist in real life). He hits on me a lot, hugs me in the way my boyfriend does and I distinctly recall thinking that it’s nice because if my boyfriend breaks up with me this guy’ll date me. We hook up in a bathroom. I say, “I’ve never done this before,” and he says, “I have,” and I say, “I don’t mean sex, I mean cheating.” Then it goes into the raunchy part. #2) I and my real-life best friend’s boyfriend are fleeing a flood and he finds a dry room. The boyfriend says that since we’re going to die, we should have sex. And, well, yeah. Raunchy stuff.

The odd part is that I don’t climax in either of the dreams– it’s totally about his satisfaction. But I don’t seem to have a problem with that in either. I’m very in love with my boyfriend and I don’t want to cheat on him. I’m somewhat disturbed about what my subconscious has conjured up…?

Lauri: The first rule of thumb, when it comes to the cheating dream, is to ask yourself if there is a third wheel in your relationship… not necessarily another person, but rather a job, a project, an X Box, something that is taking time and attention away from the relationship.  Since you are the culprit in the dream you just may be the one who is allowing work, family or some other focus to “cheat” you and your BF out of your time with each other. If that’s not the case then let’s look at the other common bond in these dreams: your inability to “complete the transaction” so to speak.  Is there any area of your life where you are not getting the release or satisfaction you need?

In the second dream you are running from a flood, which indicates something in your life is getting increasingly worse OR you are on the verge of being in over your head with responsibilities. Your best friend’s boyfriend is in the dream for a reason… and let’s hope it’s not because you are secretly crushing on him!  More likely, it is because there is something about him that you could really use in your own life right now.  Is he laid back? Does he have a good sense of humor? Maybe he’s selfish and you need to realize that you need to think of yourself instead of others all the time?  Your dream is showing you that there is something about him that you need to bring into your own personality just as you brought him into your body in the dream.   When you can pinpoint what that is, it will all make sense.

Oh, and a little advice… DON’T tell your BFF or your BF about this dream… EVER!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.


  1. I keep having dreams that I’m cheating on my boyfriend whether its with another guy or girl. When it’s a dream about another guy it turns out to be my boyfriend in the end who I’m having sex with these dreams have happened since we have been going out I have atleats 3 a week

  2. So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I love him very much but I keep having this recurring dream (every night) about cheating on him with my ex boyfriend. Each dream is different but contains the same idea. The only similarity with each dream is that he catches us every time. I haven’t seen the ex I am dreaming about in over 2 years. Please help! It’s causing a lot of stress and worry! I would never cheat on my boyfriend 🙁

  3. I have a baby with my ex boyfriend of 3 yrs and am currently with someone else for about a yr now. I keep having dreams of me and my ex sneaking away from both our spouses to be together romantically. idk what this means. Please Help I’ve been stuck about this for my entire current relationship.

  4. ok on Fri night i had a dream that my boyfriend was seeing my mum behind my back and i caught them in bed together. i was furious and all i can remember from the dream was that i was shouting and my teeth were gritting :(..i woke really annoyed..then again on Tuesday night i had a dream that i met my boyfriends friend that i have only ever saw and never chatted to. we got close and i ended up kissing him. after i met my boyfriend but couldnt stop thinking or looking out for his friend..then i woke up…im not sure what this is about..but its starting to get annoying as i love my boyfriend so much and i would never ever do something like to him. i had a dream maybe a month or two ago aswell that he cheated on me and i never took too much notice..now its so common to have them. whats up with me 🙁

  5. I had a dream that I was cheating on my boyfriend with a perfect stranger. At first, I didn’t want to. It was against my will then I gave into it, and I actually did the deed. It was exhilarating but guilt-filled. This man in my dream is no one I know, I think he may even just be a random actor from a show but I don’t even know his name. I wasn’t even thinking about him or anyone recently. I am very attracted to my boyfriend and wouldn’t want to risk my relationship for someone else.

  6. I continuosly have a dream that i am cheating on my husband with my ex boyfriend. i still talk to this ex from time to time.

  7. okay so i keep haveing a dream about my boyfriends friend ethan, i keep cheating on my boyfriend with this guy in my dream i just dont know what it means i find my boyfriends friend really attractive alot, but if it ever came down to it i could never cheat on my boyfriend with his friend its just not gonna happen can you please help me? thankyou so much

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