Dream Interpretation: I Keep Cheating on My Long-Distance Boyfriend

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I’m currently a college student and going steady with my boyfriend of almost a year. We’re currently in a long-distance relationship, but both very devoted to each other. I give him more than enough of my time and he does likewise. I keep having dreams that I cheat on him with either ex-boyfriends, random guys, friends, anyone! It’s really disturbing, because in real life I would never cheat on him and have no desire to do so. What does this mean?! Thanks!

Lauri: Long-distance relationships, no matter how devoted you are to each other, wreak havoc on the inner mind, as attested by your dreams. There could be two layers to these dreams. On the outer physiological layer, these dreams could be compensation for what your body is not getting in waking life. When we go through a dry spell, we’ll find ourselves having a series of naughty dreams because our body has to make up for what it isn’t getting otherwise.

But on a deeper psychological layer, these dreams may be connected to a certain level of guilt you are having about the relationship being long distance. When you are hundreds of miles away from each other, a part of you feels that you are “cheating” yourself and each other out of a relationship where you can actually be together, touch each other, hold each other, smell each other, etc. You may find you get these dreams on nights where you hung out with other couples who were hugging and cuddling in front of you, forcing you to face what you are missing out on — causing the inner mind to feel cheated.

While your outer self is content with the long-distance relationship, your inner self is struggling. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be in this relationship, of course. It just means you’ve got a tougher row to hoe… by not being a ho… and staying true!

Response from dreamer:  Thank you for your quick and funny response! I won’t be a ho, promise! This long-distance thing is ending soon and hopefully so will these dreams! About feeling a little “guilty,” I can see why that is. Sometimes I did feel bad, because I left him THOUSANDS of miles away. Thank you again, very helpful!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!


  1. I’m really glad I found this post too. I’m in exactly the same situation with my boyfriend and I keep dream cheating with ex’s and random people even though I have no desire to and was starting to feel really freaked out and guilty. Phew!

  2. Glad I found this question and answer! Phew, I got so freaked out by a similar dream that I ended up thinking about it too much till my head hurt.

    I normally share everything with him but I couldn’t with this dream and I won’t because it would freak him out over nothing as it did with me. Yep, I’m glad it’s just because I’m missing him, physiologically and psychologically!


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