Dream Interpretation: I Keep Dreaming About a Threeway

photo by linh.ngân

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I keep having dreams about having sex with a mutual friend of mine (a guy) and my boyfriend. I’ve had a few dreams of me and our friend having sex but last night it changed. Last night I had a dream I walked in on my boyfriend and him having sex. What does this mean? I am so confused.

Lauri: Well, first, we must get the obvious out of the way: Do you find this friend sexually attractive? If so, then these dreams of yours would be considered “wish fulfillment” dreams. Wish fulfillment dreams are quite healthy and allow us to live out a desire safely in our heads — they compensate for what we are not getting in waking life. If that’s the case for you, just keep these nice fantasies tucked away in your head and know that, if your relationship with your BF continues to remain strong, your dreams of the friend will eventually die off.

Now, if there is no attraction to the friend and these dreams seem to be coming out of nowhere, then I can you help you with that, too. Keep in mind that dreams are not to be taking literally; they speak in a symbolic language. Therefore, most dreams about sex aren’t really about sex at all! They are more about the uniting, “coming” together, merging, joining, amalgamation and blending of opinions, qualities or behaviors. So! Is there anything about this friend, about his personality or status that you would like to unite into your own personality or into your own life? Does he have a good job? Is he really laid back and easy going? Is he funny? Is there anything you like about him that you would also like to merge into yourself?

Or, is he over all the time and are the three of you really getting close? Are the three of you having deep and intimate conversations? Basically, it may not be that you want to throw him down and take him right here and now… but more that there’s something about him you need or have united with or that the three of you have really gotten close. Hopefully not too close for comfort.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.


  1. If I had to guess, she isn’t especially satisfied with her boyfriend, and I don’t necessarily mean sexually although it could include that. The friend is interesting to her, as the author suggests, and she should examine herself for why. It could be that her subconscious is telling her that there are greener fields for her elsewhere and she should think about finding one.

  2. How stupid, wasn’t worth reading. Sounds like she wants to do some extreme sexual exploration with them. Or, more likely, most dreams contain something so out of place or plausibility, that it lets us know we are in a dream, not reality.

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