Dubious Product of the Week: Woody Wipes

“I think you guys would love Woody Wipes,” went the email we received this week. “We are helping women around the U.S combat musty balls.” Um, yeah. We think that possibly the only thing creepier than seeing a box of baby wipes (adorned with a chubby Gerber baby face) next to a guy’s self-love lube in his nightstand, would be to see a box of Woody Wipes, adorned with a cartoon dude clutching a wipe and giving a self-satisfied thumbs up. Is there a phrase less sexy in the English language than “Woody Wipe”?!

Okay, okay, we admit (and have said so ourselves, as a matter of fact): Baby wipes — sorry, personal hygiene wet wipes — are actually a great idea for bedroom clean-up, either before or after a sesh. And the Woody Wipes’ tagline, “Does smell matter? Yes!!!” is something we’re down with, even if we didn’t need those extra two exclamation points. So perhaps it’s just the marketing and branding we take issue with, like their suggestion that the wipes are “great for freshening up the genital area after the gym, nightclub, or sexual activity.” The gym?! Any guy who expects a little post-gym oral attention without showering first —  but hey, Babe, I Woody-Wiped! — is probably the kind of guy who’d find it hilarious to proudly display his Woody Wipes on the coffee table.

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  1. My fwb actually asked me last night if I had wet wipes because he hates smelling like condom rubber…so this made me LOL a little 🙂

  2. You know, I was thinking about this product. Call me a big feminist, but kudos to these guys for pushing male genital odor into the discussion, finally.

    I mean, as a boy I heard vaginas could “smell like fish” years before I actually saw or touched one. But what of our nether-regions? No one ever mentioned that.

  3. Reminds me of the old Beavis & Butthead line… “Damn it Beavis, your balls are filthy.”

    On this note, I have something to share: I’ve finally encountered a fetish that I’m uncomfortable participating in.

    My GF insists that she’s wildly turned on by my, shall we politely say, post-workout, pre-shower masculine odors.

    Why the discomfort? It can’t hurt me, or her, and she says she likes it. My reticense is irrational. Why can’t I just say, “ok, baby, you like ball-stink? whatever you say…”. I mean, I’ll let her stick a dildo in my butt, ferchrissake.

    But I am just totally skeeved out by the idea of her being down there when I’m having a less-than-fresh moment.

    I should just keep some Woody Wipes handy in my gym bag.

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