All we need is a few good men. A straight single guy, a straight married guy, and a gay single or married guy, to be precise. Must be communicative, concise, respectful of deadlines and not sexist. Bonus points for a great sense of humor and a penchant for correct grammar. We can pay you in crazy promotion for a blog, a book or a business (sorry, we’re short on cold hard cash these days). If you’re interested, send us a sample answer to the question below via our contact form (select “Question for the Wise Guys” in the pull down menu) — please keep your answer to one paragraph, no more than 250 words. And don’t forget to let us know your relationship status, sexual orientation, age, profession, the name you’d be writing under, what (if anything) you’d like promoted (please include links), and if you’d be happy for us to use your picture. By submitting a written answer to the below question, you agree to allow us to publish your answer on EMandLO.com for all eternity:
What’s the best way for a woman to ask a guy out?
I would love to do this. I am in the process of divorce after 21 years in a faithful marriage. We grew apart and unemployment and financial problems have led to our demise together. But, along the way I tried my best and gave her what I could. There were some conditions that I felt could be overcome and these did fester and lead to my wanting to end it. I love to write, I love the human experience and I am still learning about relations, sex and life. But, at 48 I have a good grasp and a future of promise in life’s adventures. I am well travel led, experienced with the human and societal conditions. But, most of all I know the motor club will never have a map or membership to go where we who seek to experience and enjoy life want to go.
Come right in the front door rather than being indirect or discrete about it. Men are famously bad about divining the intentions of women. If you try to maneuver us into a situation where, before we know it, we’re in a date situation with you–how did that happen?–we’re more likely to back away. Instead, just call the guy, walk up to him at a party, or however you feel most comfortable having the first conversation and say, “I like you Tom. Would you like to go try that new Thai place on Friday/go see a movie/go bowling/attend the opening of that new show at the gallery (or whatever else seems like fun to you)?” Ask him to do something you’d like to do, because if he doesn’t like doing the things you like, then what’s the point? He’ll be flattered that you like him and will be relieved you took the first step. If he’s not both of these things, time to move on. Will you be rejected? Sometimes. But that’s the way dating works.
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Educator
Johnny is a regular poster and I think he would be a magnificent wise guy. Not kissing your butt Johnny, but I do find your posts to be smart and well thought out.
Unless you’re wanting something to happen that very night, don’t let us know you’re asking us out. Invite us to join you with several of your friends somewhere you feel safe and comfortable. Have some friends cancel, have some more beg off early because of a big day tomorrow at work and lastly have a couple leave to (very obviously) get freaky. This gets us alone in a place that you feel at ease in and your buddies who leave to get it on, turn our thoughts toward a less than platonic nature. Those quicker on the uptake will realize what’s happening then and there. The slower ones will either figure it out later or talk to their friends and have it pointed out that they just went on a date with you. And if after all that they still don’t recognize what happened, are you sure you want to go out with someone that clueless?
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olbaldy