So you’re ready to purchase your very own My First Vibrator? Good for you! And you came to the right place, because yours truly, Em & Lo, happen to be your very personal shoppers.
Exploring on your own is the best way to start learning the pattern of your sexual response — especially if you’ve had fairly limited sexual experience, or have yet to experience an orgasm. Too many straight women wait for a fella to come ’round to show them the way — but those dudes often don’t have a map (or else they don’t care if you get left behind). But if more women took the initiative, we’d probably get a lot fewer letters from gals saying they can’t orgasm during sex with a partner. After all, doing it on your own means you’re much more likely to be able to do it with a partner — and you’re much more likely to be able to ask for what you want when you’re with that partner, too.
And just in case you’re still “curiously debating,” here’s one more reason to go for it: Studies have shown that more than a third of women own vibrators, and that those who use them experience higher levels of sexual desire and more orgasms than those who don’t.
Okay, so now you’ve got to choose your weapon. There’s a lot of crap out there, and though we know it might be tempting to go bargain-basement shopping in the middle of a recession, you do have to pay a little bit extra for a quality toy. And by quality, we don’t mean “Swarovski-crystal-encrusted,” we just mean one that’s actually meant to be used as a vibrator, and not “for novelty purposes only.”
The most important quality in a sex toy is that it’s phthalate-free (pronounced “thay-late”) — and if the shop you’re browsing in doesn’t know what you’re talking about when you ask whether a toy contains phthalates, then you don’t want to spend your hard-earned money there! Phthalates are plastic softeners which have been shown to be bad for both your body and the environment — they’re banned in kids’ toys and even in pet toys in most countries, and yet manufacturers continue to use them in sex toys! Shocking, we know. Pure silicone is phthalate-free and always a great option for a sex toy, though there are other newer materials on the market that are also phthalate-free and worth checking out.
For newbies, we think that Fun Factory — a German toy manufacturer — is a great place to start. We’d recommend any of their toys, in fact! We love their Laya ($50), which is for external use. Or, if you want something slightly more phallic (and insertion-friendly), check out the G-spot friendly G-Swirl Smartvibe ($82). For even more choice, check out GoodVibes, which stocks a whole range of Fun Factory toys.
Our friends at LELO also offer some fab — and gorgeously designed — sex toys for beginners. If you want a small smooth toy that fits in the palm of your hand like a well worn pebble, try their Siri, their Lily, or their Nea (all rechargeable).
If you’re looking for a kitchen-sink vibrator — i.e. one that provides simultaneous internal and external stimulation while paying attention to the G-spot — then a Rabbit-style vibrator is your friend in need. But again, beware of cheap knock-offs! Ever since the Rabbit made a guest appearance on Sex & the City, companies across the globe have been attempting to cash in on the trend. LELO makes a rechargeable Rabbit-style toy called the Ina 2 ($159). Sure, it’s a little pricey, but most of you have probably spent more than this on a pair of jeans. And when’s the last time a pair of $159 jeans got you off? Never say that money can’t buy you a little love!
If all of the above are still a bit too pricey, you can always go with the ol’ standby: The Pocket Rocket. It’s only meant for external use, but at least the hard plastic it’s made of won’t leach phthalates. For $30, you can get a similar style vibe that’s waterproof made by dependable Vibratex, called the Water Dancer.
When you’re ready to expand your toy collection — you can’t have just one! — just make sure you’re shopping at a decent, well-lighted sex toy outlet. We trust GoodVibes with both our credit cards and our genitals, and we trust them to steer a newbie in the right direction.
Ah, memories. The pink pocket rocket was my very first vibrator. Suggested by the kind lady at the sex shop in the East Village where 18-year-old me went in search of one.