How to Reconceptualize Male and Female Genitalia

The following Em & Lo article is also published in Sexis, EdenFantasys.com‘s magazine:

So often we focus on the differences between men and women. But we’d do well to consider how alike we are, too — especially when it comes to sexual anatomy. Rather than thinking of a woman’s parts as inferior, miniature versions of his, embrace the fact that they are equitable, albeit more internal, sexual structures that enjoy stimulation just as much as his. There are important parallels between his and her sexual machinery that will help you both understand how best to use what you’ve got on your own and with your partner. For instance, did you know that he has a clitoris too?! Going beyond the inadequate anatomy lessons we got in high school sex ed will help us all find more common ground in the bedroom.


  1. Thank you so much for putting this info out to the masses! I’ve had my own set of info I’ve gathered over the years that I’ve compiled related to the above that I’ve shared with many men and women who were looking for more than ‘insert tab A into slot B’. I always told them to take time to learn about each other’s bodies. Identify certain touches/sensations/pressures they enjoy on their own body, and try to translate to their lover’s. One example is that if men take the time, they can learn to enjoy and get very aroused by stimulating the base and shaft of the penis, without touching the glans/head. This translates to learning to massage and stimualte the areas to either side of the vaginal opening, underneath which the clitoral bulbs/legs reside. I’ve found ladies love it, if done in a non-pressured atmosphere, and are delighted to learn of a new way of stimulating themselves without going right to the clitoris or g-spot. Building this area up for 5-10-15 minutes of oral/digital stimulation can lead to deeper orgasms.

    One other point. I usually equated the inner labial lips with the scrotum (being circumcised I had no point of reference to it being tied to the foreskin.) Being an observer, both in the bedroom, and at a clothing optional beach I’ve attended with some lady friends, just as the scrotum is impacted by temperature, a la the Seinfeld ‘shrinkage’, I’ve seen similar reaction with the inner labia. As well, although it may be slight in some women, I’ve seen the inner labia get darker in color when she is aroused. Something i noticed in the scotum as well.
    Physiology is awesome!

  2. This is great, you two. I love the first and second sentence, especially “we’d do well to consider how alike we are, too.”

    And not because it’s all woo-woo and “we are the world” to think of ourselves and each other as equal variations on a theme but because it makes it easier to think things like “hey, if I like circular motion here, he/she might like circular motion there.” As opposed to “let’s just slide tab A and slot B together and hope it all works out.”

    Because, really, genitals for both sexes (and for people in between) are way more sophisticated, and interesting, and (once you realize the similarities) much more interesting and fun than simple slots or tabs.

    Nice tour of the anatomy in table, too.

    So thanks!


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